This is an excerpt from an email reading. A friend writes, “I met a nice guy, we’ve been out 6 times in the last month. He never checks his phone when we’re together, so I know he compartmentalizes his time. He went on a scheduled trip for a family reunion last week and I’ve not heard from him since. I sent a text saying let me know when you get there. What is up with his silences? How do I draw him closer – and how do I work with my own stressors to not project that onto him.”
Andrea responds: It’s just the old ebb and flow, the rubber band effect of the new encounter. Detach for a few days and it will resume. You may not hear from him this weekend so stay mobile. I don’t feel a giant connection with him just yet but he’s not gone. When I “feel” the connection, I’m feeling the emotional attachment. He doesn’t attach easily or well but he’s not being aloof, he’s just slow to make his way because he’s learned the lesson of getting too close too soon. He knows the infatuation period is where much talk and defining can ruin what might become. When a guy starts to back away, you should do the same. Not as a game of cat and mouse but to restore balance and desire in a relationship by reading the signs that he needs time and space to integrate. Continue reading
