I got an email last week on the topic that I get the most inquiries about: Law of Attraction — why am I getting what I’m getting and how do I attract what I want instead? The answer is simple but may take some fine tuning until you really understand what you’re doing and why. Domino writes: I live in San Diego. I am trying to use the law of attraction to get men to stop approaching me for sex. I say affirmations several times a day: “I am left alone when I am walking. I am left alone when I go shopping. It’s easy to say no. My boundaries are respected. Men have clean thoughts about me.”
Andrea responded: Domino, with all due respect, these particular affirmations will not help you attract what you think you are attracting (or not.) The thing most people get wrong about law of attraction is not being clear on what they are thinking and thus attracting. With the above 5 sentences, the topic is clearly “I want to avoid being attacked.” The focus is “walking alone, men overstepping boundaries due to their unclean thoughts.” So just be aware that right now you’re a magnet for that.
Some more helpful statements might be:
I am a powerful person and I exude confidence.
I have the power to handle myself in all situations.
I attract pleasant and delightful circumstances and people to me.
I look for the good in everything and everyone I see.
People are kind and helpful and generous with me.
When you hold these thoughts, when you vibe in this place, you are nowhere near the other place, the place where the first 5 affirmations will hold you. So there’s no need to focus there. You can feel the difference in the statements. The difference in how you feel as you say them, the amount of lightness and security you feel, is also your indication of the vibrational difference in what you’ll attract.
It’s like when someone gives a hypnotic suggestion, “You will not smoke. You don’t want to smoke. You will stop smoking.” That is never successful because the focus is still “smoking.” A more successful smoking suggestion would be “It feels good to make the decision to stop smoking for now. It feels good to breathe in the fresh air. I love the way things smell and taste so good now. It feels good to exercise and take strong, deep breaths. It feels good to walk around the block every day and swing my arms in rhythm like winding an inner clock. It feels so good to breathe in the fresh air.” The topic here is “feel good, breathe.” Your subconsious will do all the work for you with suggestions like this. A gentle and subtle redirection of focus plus replacement activity = success.
It’s just matter of getting the terminology right for the words and phrases you are going to program yourself with. I do this kind of work all the time in my hypnosis practice and I get a lot of feedback about what works and what doesn’t. If you like, feel free to use the search box at my blog to search “law of attraction” as I’ve written on it a lot and I’m glad to help.
And, last but not least, remember that it’s all related, everything. If you have resistance — or unresolved issues — in any other area of your life, it will impact (on some level) what you attract in all areas. The best thing to do is do a little soul searching on a regular basis, say during morning meditation or evening review and, as issues come up, give them a little thought and work through them one and for all.
The good news is the more personal stuff you work through at the moment it comes up for you, the easier life gets and the less resistance you find you have. When you aren’t being continually triggered by the people, circumstances and events around you, you automatically begin attracting more of what you want without having to consciously program yourself with affirmations and positive statements in order to stay focused on it long enough for it to happen. It begins to flow automatically. You stop creating more aggravating karma to work out later. Life becomes the dream you always wanted it to be. Really.”
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