I was doing a session with a friend the other day and the topic was reprogramming her inner dialogue – her self talk – to help her accomplish some goals she has set for herself. She’s a smart and successful person, and has just identified some habits she wants to change. She wasn’t aware of it before, but every time a bill came in, one of her thoughts was, “I’ll never get ahead at this rate.” Every time her kids asked for a loan, she thought, “I’ll never get ahead at this rate.” Every time she got an unexpected repair or medical bill (and she attracted a lot of them), she thought, “I’ll never get ahead at this rate.” So we simply came up with a few lines of self talk that she would teach herself to repeat over and over each time the old thoughts of the old story came to mind. She’d carry these lines with her and read them often throughout the day.
As Abraham-Hicks says: As you imagine and visualize and verbalize your new story, in time you will believe the new story, and when that happens, the evidence will flow swiftly into your experience. A belief is only a thought you continue to think; and when your beliefs match your desires, then your desires must become your reality. The Law of Attraction is responding to your thought, not to your current reality. When you change the thought, your reality must follow suit. If things are going well for you, then focusing upon what is happening now will cause the well-being to continue, but if there are things happening now that are not pleasing, you must find a way of taking your attention away from those unwanted things. You have the ability to quickly change your patterns of thought, and eventually… your life experience.
So we began with a few simple sentences, knowing that we would find the right combination for her as we go along. We began with, “This bill tells me that money is in the flow again. Things always work out for me. Money comes to me from a variety of sources. I always have what I need in order to pay what needs to be paid. As I pay this bill, I am doing my part in keeping the flow coming to me. Paying this bill is my advance payment to the Universe for keeping me supplied with everything I need. So I see this bill as my invitation to the better life that I am always moving into, and I’m thrilled at the opportunity to pay it.”
What we’re doing with the new sentences is giving her a bridging thought between her fearful thought (I’ll never get ahead at this rate.”) and the reality as she knows it to be. Reminding her of what she already knows. It may take her just a few hours or a few days to turn her thoughts around.
Or it may take years. It may take decades, if she just half heartedly reads her sentences now and again and doesn’t really believe it as she reads it. I used to have a client named Sharrie. She would always tell me that affirmations didn’t work for her, but she never gave them much time and she didn’t really have an effective affirmation written in the first place. Someone taught her about what they called affirmations and did not give her an effective technique for it; so forever after, she simply had the belief that affirmations don’t work.
Sharrie and I worked together twice a month for almost a year. What we found was that when she did the work, when she kept her note with her and reread it every time the old thought came up, that she would find herself with fewer emergency bills and more income. When she didn’t work it, it didn’t work for her. Even with the personal cheerleading twice a month from me, she couldn’t make herself do it on a consistent basis. I couldn’t in good conscience schedule future sessions with her. There are too many people who want to change and want to do the work. Sharrie will do it in her own time. She has some very powerful tools now.
Another thing Sharrie did was she kept forgetting the part about relaxing, letting go and having fun. She’d read every book out there on law of attraction and creating your own reality. Yet it wouldn’t really sink in to her to do her part to practice it. She spent more time thinking about reprogramming her thoughts than she spent programming her thoughts. And she took everything on as a task, and she didn’t take a lot of time for herself for purely fun. (OMG am I writing about me here or Sharrie??)
So the first part of the formula is knowing what you want. Even in general “I want a happy life with plenty of money and friends who love me and work that is meaningful to me.”
The second part is releasing resistance: put yourself in situations where you will laugh and have fun. Stop criticizing and complaining and spend more time thinking about things you love to do and people you love to be with. Put yourself in physical contact with these people and do these things.
I agree it’s important to identify bad habits of thought and reprogram myself out of faulty beliefs, but I also know it’s important to stay in the flow of having fun. Yes, my work requires that I be glued to the keyboard or phone 12-16 hours a day, but I have the choice of how to feel during those 12-16 hours. I get to remember that many of my clients and customers are also personal friends and it’s fun to hear from them. I ge to remember that I love my work and get to read the latest books on topics I have the most personal interest in. I get to take a quick break and walk in my gardens as the computer reboots, feed my birds, maybe pull some weeds or take a cutting and stick it in the ground. Even though I’m working and can’t be disturbed, I can take those few moments to keep myself in the flow, to release any resistance that might be building up.
So is my time better spent repeating my affirmation or my bridging thoughts to myself?
Or better spent having fun, relaxing and thinking happy thoughts?
I think you’ll find the right balance. I think I’m finding it.
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