I like working in the dark.  When I’m doing my writing or session work, the low light allows me to stay inwardly focused.  I have red bulbs I use for nighttime keyboard work without impairing my night vision.  I have two huge windows but keep privacy curtains drawn to keep the room dim.  Then there are days like today, when I want to see every inch of everything on my desks.  I moved my one big standing halogen lamp out of the bedroom and into the office and now it’s like daylight in here!  So now there’s no excuse but to get the work done, now that I can see it, huh?

Izzy DaBig Giant Kitty

My big kitty Izzy passed away yesterday morning. I’m happy he’s free from discomfort and is on to his next evolutionary stage. The first thing I do when there’s a change in the household is to clean and rearrange everything, and do a smudging of the space.  As I opened the first can of food for my YinYang, I realized she prefers the dry (and the outside buffet) so she eats only about 1/3 can twice a day.  I wondered if she would miss Izzy, always hissing as he went by. Like me, she prefers to stay off by herself.  As humans, we imagine our pets have the same emotions and thoughts about

YinYang, my Minicow Yinnie

things as we do.  Silly, they adapt, they go with the flow. Last night, she followed me as I did my nightly walk around the hood.  Later, in the recliner, she jumped in my lap and let me pet her.  When I dozed and awoke 3 hours later, she was sleeping across my chest.  After an hour’s sitting meditation, I called her as I went into bed.  As I was drifting back off to sleep, I felt her jump up and snuggle onto the pillow around my head.  Kitties know.

 Domino still has issues with her father that bleed over into her relationships now with men (surprise!)  She asked me how she could do Forgiveness Work on him when he’s been dead for many years.  I told her it doesn’t matter if someone is alive or dead, where the issue lives is in our consciousness, and we are the ones who control our perceptions there.  My process is this. It’s pretty standard and very freeing.

1 — Place a chair across from you. In your mind’s eye, imagine sitting across from you anyone with whom you do not feel total alignment or support.

2 — Imagine an infinite source of Love and healing flowing into the top of your head (from your Higher Self or the Creator/God/whatever of your understanding), and let the source of love and healing flow down inside your body, fill up the body, and overflow out your heart to heal the person in the chair before you.

3 — Have a discussion with the person.  Tell them anything you want them to know.  Remember they did the best they could under the conditions at that time.  You don’t know what struggles they were going through.  Imagine them responding to you as you would like to be responded to and understood.

4 — Forgive them.  Tell them you’re sorry for your part in whatever happened, and ask them to forgive you.  Thank them for their part in your life.  Tell them you love them and mean it. “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, I forgive you, thank you.”

5 — Imagine standing up with the person before you.  With a hand swipe motion, cut the cords between you.  All past issues are now dissolved.  Imagine the person walking away as you feel love and forgiveness for them.

Related: Hawaiian Forgiveness Ho’oponopono Process 

Hard as it is, get used to death
Her perception upon dying
A Friend and I Talk About Dying and Easy Transitions
Remember “we” survive after death of the body
How to forgive and find closure if the other is unwilling, absent or dead  
Why pretend loved ones aren’t going to die? Let’s get over the fear

The End of Death As We Know It: What The Crossing Over Experience Was Like, As Reported By Those Who Made The Transition

Izzy DaBig Giant Kitty

My big kitty Izzy passed away this morning.  What a blessing, he’s now out of discomfort and on to better times. What a caterpillar calls death, we call a butterfly.  The friend I got him from said, “His mother passed away at 7 from a heart defect common to mainecoons. I’m glad you had almost double the time with him. He was a beautiful, gentle giant and will be missed.”  Aho, my big kitty, until we meet again.

Her Perception Upon Dying
As you watched my body lapse and fail,
I watched Creation unfold in all its Glory;

As my body contorted as though in pain,
all I felt was joyful bliss at glimpsing what lie beyond.

My final tears were not in frustration of incapacity,
they sprang forth in welcome relief and freedom

My lack of response concerned you so
yet I heard every word and felt every kiss

While my tongue was quiet, my mind’s eye was filled
with sights and sensations of such Loving immersion
that no words could begin to describe it; so I didn’t even try.

Rather, perhaps selfishly, I chose to slip my grateful shell of a body
and merge myself in the brilliant Light and Radiance
of that overwhelmingly loving and comforting Presence
that so benevolently graced my final days.

Copyright 1999 Andrea deMichaelis. A channelled message from the nonphysical perspective of one who recently made their transition. This came to me during a telephone reading in response to a daughter inquiring about a beloved parent who had recently passed.

RELATED:  The End of Death As We Know It

My beloved YinYand died June 2015

As you make your bed, so shall you lie in it.  Make sure no worries or past baggage come into bed with you each night.  I do a nightly review to clear away any concerns of the day, and do any forgiveness work, etc. at that time too. It’s like a cleansing, so I’m not marinating in toxic concerns all night.

Just when I began to think how fortunate I was to have lucked upon another brother on the path, I saw him as the chameleon.  He was distracted for a time, immersed himself obsessively, but the fruit is the evidence of the inner work being done.   His interests lie elsewhere. A brother on the Path is a sacred relationship to me.  I have been blessed with several in my time.  They act as teacher and student, as muse and artist, as we walk along side each other on the path to awakening and upliftment of consciousness.  This is not a romantic/sexual relationship.  I find this work is easier done with a man who lives a monastic lifestyle, or who has a partner of many years who understands the work we are doing together. One such brother passed several years ago.  I will by my dedication to my practice attract another if that is what is best meant for me, otherwise I shall happily travel my path alone.

Law of attraction allows us to constantly sculpt our ever-changing future landscape. The last couple of days I’ve been sitting out at my firepit each sundown and during the days reweaving the bamboo and palmetto frond walls lining my driveway.  I love doing physical outdoor work, especially when it has to do with resculpting my ever-changing landscape.  I typically keep several temporary, natural and living garden type fences in place by weaving the eleganus and grapevine into each other to form a frame.  Onto this frame, I can train the iveys and the vines.  While it is bare, if it’s in a place I’d like more privacy, I can weave freshly cut small palmetto fronds into it.  Nature has the fronds begin to decay as the vines begin to grow.  Perfect timing.  Each moving gracefully onto their next evolutionary stage.  Humans can learn a lot from watching Nature, a lot about graceful transitions, no need for tearings apart.  Continue reading →

Jeremy, I won’t share the email you just sent me.  The buck stops here. Remember that you agreed on Day One to be part of a publicly shared journey, honesty and transparency, you asked for it, specifically. “I am ready, I can handle it, this is soul work.” Remember that when you blame me for anything.  Updating a blog post when your wife emails me doesn’t mean I’ve not “let it go.” It means I’m updating a blog post. That I didn’t include her entire email shows I have boundaries.   You sing of stepping stones yet deny your own. My wanting you to get help overrides my caring if you ever talk to me again. And always the crazy lies, why? Like your mom losing her house next month – no she’s not. I understand so much now.   If you moved away, it would halt it once and for all. But the Universe hasn’t wanted that to happen yet, so here we are, literally in front of each other. I wish for you what I wish for me. I will continue to write about whatever I see happening right in front of me. I have nothing to hide.  I was you twenty years ago. I tried to be a brother on the path to you. When you’re ready for that, the soul knows no separation. Your goodbyes mean nothing, as your soul speaks to mine. When the personality stops being bruised and steps into the background, we will connect again, long from now.  I was the only one who came to your rescue when you cried out, deny me as you might in your anger for me outing your behavior (which you agreed to by the way). I pray understanding eases your pain.  Live what you’ve been taught these last 16 months and it will transform your life. For right now, you’re just playing at magic and  greater treasure lies beyond.  Bless you, truly.

My ex called last night asking for a file.  Although all his belongings fit in 3 boxes, one box being his legal papers organized for easy reference, he couldn’t find it.  I thought it interesting he called Friday evening.  I’d had a good last couple of days, and was in an up and happy mood. Although I’d overnight gotten several messages asking if he was ok since mutual friends had not seen him on FB, I didn’t mind being asked. It was good to observe I had no emotional tug on that topic as I read the few. I’d been working in the yard having a great day, feeling good.  When I saw his number come in on caller id, I had zero emotional twinge from it. Oh, good news he’s calling for then, I thought, since it’s always a vbrational match. Maybe he got his permanent job.  Maybe he’s moving. He asked about the file.  I told him where to find it. I asked if he’d gotten my email.  He cannot get email anymore he said.  He’d check it when he got home and call me back.

When he called back, I asked him my emailed questions: “I am still reeling from the conversation I saw you and Misty Dawn (new gf) having (online). Why did you never tell me that was how you felt about me? Was that really how you feel or ever felt? Why after us being apart for two weeks and everything fine as friends did you have to seduce me all over again? Why?”

His immediately angry answer, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what you thought you saw. You can’t believe everything someone else tells you is true.” I said it wasn’t someone else, it was what I saw him typing her, right on the screen in front of me. “Don’t believe everything you see.  You don’t know the whole story.” He was now in a rage and his words didn’t respond to the question.  I knew he was frustrated not knowing which conversation of theirs I’d seen. I knew by his attitude that this would not be resolved now.  He slammed the phone down. He cannot be caught in a lie. The fury comes on in a moment.  It’s like you never know which one is going to show up at the door or on the phone.

All he had to do was be a man and answer those simple questions. We would have been good – no matter what the answers were – and he’d get his duplicate files.  But he doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings.  He knows how to say words that keep you close, but they are only words to get him past the moment.  I learned months ago that he doesn’t mean them, they are his coping mechanism. The lies are the ritual he needs to ensure he can feel he’s got everything handled. When he hung up, I felt nothing but relief.   The whole call took maybe 6 minutes.  I was back to my happy place right away. Had that call come in while I was in a bad mood, it might have irked me.  As it was, it was a short blip in time that confirmed recent good decisions.

BUT WAIT, WE DIDN’T GET TO THE WIFE’S EMAIL YET

So I’m happily winding down for the day, I’m outside watering, I’m texting with an old friend I’ve reconnected with.  Still in a happy place, lots of fun synchronicities happening, waving hello to strolling/biking neighbors.  I come inside and find an email from Jeremy’s wife.  Hmmm, since I’m in such a light and fluffy place, it can’t be bad news.  Right?  Vibrational match and all that?

It occurred to me earlier this week that some of the crazy messages I and other women on Jeremy’s Facebook wall were getting may not have come from his wife as he said. She could have found me anytime the last year through Google and she knows I live across the street.  The calls and messages stopped when the new gf came on behind the scene. From his wife’s email, I’m sure she never contacted me before.  She wrote:  ” We have no knowledge of the messages sent to you. I have sent Jeremy 2 messages since he left my daughter and I in June 2011. I have not sent you any. I’m sorry that he fooled you but I know that you knew it couldn’t possibly work with a man who is married. Leaves his child and does not talk to her on a regular basis. He committed a… crime… not as he described it to you. All he cares about is being famous one way or another stepping on whoever or conning his way up. I fully intend to pursue divorce to the fullest extent and make him pay dearly or go back to jail. I just wanted you to remember there are 2 sides to the story. Don’t feel bad in his absence because I have learned the end result is truely my blessing. Sincerely, C”

I responded to her: “C, hello and thanks for writing.   I have lived across the street from Jeremy’s mom for 20+ years. I met him Sept 2011.  Ours was not a love story; our long term plans were only for honesty and friendship. He did fool me. I saw his police report when he was in jail. I know the facts of the incident. I was a paralegal for 22 years. The problem with divorce is that he owns nothing and has a low paying job, so even if it was on a final judgment of divorce paper saying he was obligated to pay all your joint debts, he doesn’t have anything, so he can’t pay. His criminal charge of indecent exposure is a misdemeanor in Florida meaning he would not be considered a sex offender here. He wasn’t doing anything (when we hung out) that would send him back to jail. I don’t see his FB wall or keep track of what he’s doing now but he knows his probation officer shows up at random times. His new gf has kids but his crime didn’t involve a minor so he might be allowed to be around them.  I am sorry for your pain but know the relief you feel. Had Jeremy not outright asked me for help, I would not have gotten involved.  Best of luck to you. Andrea”

HOW DID I ATTRACT THESE ENCOUNTERS WHILE IN SUCH A HAPPY MOOD?

Because stuff is gonna happen when stuff happens.  The Universe, knowing my greater intention for wanting a happy, fun life with joyful friends in it, is always giving me exactly what I am in vibrational harmony with.

Yesterday, being aligned with fun and purpose and hopeful thoughts about future happenings, was the perfect day for Jeremy’s call to come in, yet his anger not cause a blip in my screen.  The same with his wife’s email.  It was not emotionally troubling, it was just a quick exchange of info and I was back to my happy life.

To me, that’s the benefit of having a place of center to return to and to know how to get there.  Meditation links here.  So when different people move through your life at the speed of light, you are able to easily dodge and bob and weave your way without being personally impacted and bruised by it.

Had I yesterday woken up pissed at the world and responded to everyone from that vibrational stance, there could have been a much different result and a whole lot more karma put into motion.  At this stage, I haven’t got time for the game.  I long for something real. Until then, I’m happy loving life in general and no one in particular.  If we’re really all One, what does that kinda stuff matter anyway?

Love when those around you love
Wish for others what you wish for yourself

Ow, my hands and arms are all sting-y from the palmetto thorns today.  I woke up with all intention to get my monthly billing out of the way first thing, but then thought to set the sprinkler up in the yard.  As I looked around the property, I noticed the natural walls I line the driveway with each season using bamboo and palmetto fronds were deteriorating.   I got my wire cutters and disassembled the west wall.  It took about 5 minutes as the dead fronds just dissolved.  I saved the longer young bamboo stalks and took the old, rotted ones along with the palmetto remnants out to the street.  I took stock of the ficus growing there, and began to weave a wall using the young bamboo and a few sturdy older pieces.  One purpose of the wall is to give me privacy when someone pulls into the driveway.  Another is to block the view and sound from neighbors to give us all privacy.  I repeated the wall on the east side, and hung some longer bamboo between the loquat trees.  The loquats are bearing fruit like crazy!   Continue reading →