Today is my parents’ anniversary. It is also the 18th anniversary of mom dropping her body and leaving the earth plane. My mom and I were close, speaking every day, never arguing, she was my best friend. I always thought I’d freak when she passed, which she did suddenly on April 8, 1996, of her first heart attack.  I didn’t freak.  I didn’t grieve.  I felt there was no separation.  I still don’t feel she’s missing from my life. I’ve ever been a sentimental person. I’ve never been family oriented. I am more a loner.  I love my family, but family life is not for me. In the two days between her heart attack and passing — which we did not know was going to happen —  she was heavily medicated and could not speak, yet managed to open her eyes very wide once in order to look me in the eye and let me know she was still in there.  I talked to her and I whisper-sang to her.   Continue reading →

I love No. 5:  Be the problem. This is a tough one. You must confront your need to feel special. Stop being the saintly heroine that is the only person in the world he trusts, opens up to, or can tolerate. His moods, his wild antics are his story, make your own and don’t play a supporting role.  Here’s the article:
As if it’s not bad enough to be addicted to love, you seem to find yourself hooked on the unique brand of consuming desire that leaves you empty, confused, and utterly deflated. You have a special gift for honing in on the person in the room least interested in you. You gravitate naturally to the challenge of that special someone who makes it clear from the start that he is in some way unavailable… but then leaves a window wide open, inviting your enthusiasm. Be honest now. You crave the attention of bad boys, bums, and brooding narcissists. Here is a 12-step intervention to break the addiction and rewire yourself for a more satisfying and soulful connection. Continue reading →

Armand Della Volpe writes, “Getting close really fast makes it 99% more likely that we will experience heavy emotional drama.” I agree, as that has been my experience. I usually dawdle for years with secret crushes. There is such exquisite delight in unfolding someone slowly. My impetuous times were rewarded with big drama.  A friend just found out the one he thought was ‘the one’ lived a double-life. He thinks they’ve parted as friends. I suggested he let it cycle thru. An ex and I parted amicably, then 2 months later it was a different story. Armand wrote, “We recently learned a couple we thought were compatible with us were in fact not. It took 18 months for all of our pain bodies to surface.” I found that relevant. It took 18 months of daily interaction before I saw my ex’s real personality.  I criticized his deception then but I was the one ignoring red flags. I now realize how difficult it must have been for him to keep his pain body in check and the mask in place for all that time.  My current mate paid the price by me not early on blindly trusting.  We’ve taken our time getting to know each other. Ten months, no red flags, no drama. The unfolding has been delicious.  While getting close really fast can feel right, my experience is the drama is never worth it.

RELATED:  The magic of making amends

A friend was forgetful and low energy by mid afternoon. It turns out she had low thyroid and adrenal fatigue. This article examines the causes, symptoms and process of recovery using nutritional balancing. Of greatest importance for this article is that the adrenal hormones, particularly adrenalin and cortisol, activate the body’s fight-or-flight response. Below, Dr. Lawrence Wilson writes on Adrenal Burnout Syndrome:  “Thousands of people suffer from constant fatigue that is not relieved by rest and sleep. This is one of the main symptoms of adrenal gland problems.  Many people are still suffering from adrenal exhaustion, adrenal fatigue or adrenal burnout 3, 5 or even 10 years.  This is not necessary!  Nor is it necessary to take hormones, obtain a lot of tests, or do chelation therapy, in my experience with this condition.  I owe a great debt to Dr. Paul Eck, whose deep interest in the adrenal glands inspired this article. This article examines this extremely common syndrome – its causes, symptoms and the process of recovery of vibrant health with a nutritional balancing program.”

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Some people are just lucky.  On our walk this morning, we found someone’s wallet.  It was just north of the bf’s house.  The lucky one is Prince, the guy who lost it. Lucky because he had a student ID so we knew to call Bayside High School.  Lucky because we’re not bandits. The woman in Guidance said she knew who he was and she would give him the phone number to call to pick it up.  Five hours later, the school calls and says they will have someone come out to the house to pick it up on Monday.  What??? I understand, school policy, red tape, yada yada.  But I think it’s ridiculous to make him wait for it over a weekend.  As I drove the one block to the bf’s house, I passed RastaKid who lives on the corner.  I figured I’d go back and ask if he knows Prince and where he lives.  But RastaKid is no where to be found. I almost doubled back the half block, but decided to go around the long way instead. As I rounded the corner,  I saw a kid walking. I asked him if he knew Prince.  Of course, he IS Prince.  Earlier the bf’s spidey sense told him it might belong to a house down the street from him.  He was right.

A retired friend says she feels selfish staying at home watching her tv stories and sewing outfits for her dog, but that is what brings her happiness. She thinks she should go out and volunteer somewhere. I told her if she’s having that thought, go out and volunteer somewhere until she wants to stay home again to watch tv and sew her dog dresses. Then she can volunteer again if she feels she’s being useless, until she’s had enough of that. She’ll know when it’s time to change, because she will become dissatisfied with her life and she’ll begin thinking she should do something other than what she’s doing.

After watching two episodes of  Naked and Afraid last night, I went out into my west woods and created a lean to using my big tarp and slept outside all night. I made hot tea at the firepit and drank it watching the day break and the critters wake up.   I like reality shows to see how people act and react and relate during all kinds of conditions. I know I am a different person under different circumstances.  Put me in the midst of electronic and digital media and I can take charge and multi-task like a mofo.  If I was on one of those shows, I’d do some survivalist research ahead of time so I could be efficiently resourceful and I’d stay goal and consquence-oriented.  Collect wood for the fire while it’s still daylight so I’m not scrambling in the dark with my little self defence flashlight for home to find what I need. Build a fire before nightfall so I don’t get eaten alive by misquitoes trying to start it. Don’t drink the water without boiling it, so I don’t get sick from it. Research ways to boil water with no pan and no supplies. Those are the goals and consequences I’d make sure to stay mindful of. Have good footwear so an infected thorn doesn’t keep me down.  I think of stuff like that. I used to never consider consequences, but I’ve learned that lesson.   Continue reading →

Not everyone agrees on everything.  There never has to be an argument. It can be two people who simply have different opinions.  Part of getting along really well is knowing how to disagree and how to work through it when you do.  My mate of 10 months and I haven’t argued yet, although we’re not always in agreement. Our sleep/work schedules are almost opposite, so I can’t always make his kirtan gigs and he can’t always eat my (non-vegan) meals but there’s no argument. People who dig each other will find a way to get along, without drama, without mood swings, just getting along because there’s no reason not to.

I love it when friends text me late at night, letting me know what they think of (what the media tells them about) our current administration. Between the wacky auto corrects and their own inebriation, it’s quite funny. I know they are really saying, “Hi, I love you, Thanks for being there when I feel out of sorts.” So the words don’t really matter after all.

Just watched one of the Real Housewives reunion shows. I watch these shows because I have a few Bravo housewives as clients. I never understand why the made up drama when other facets of their actual lives are interesting enough as a storyline with no embellishment or fabrication needed. The real story is when you’re brave enough to tell it. Continue reading →