We see it on tv all the time; violent death and painful trauma on the way to it. Movies are filled with it, it’s on tv all day and night, and our generation and our kids grew up with it. No wonder the thought of death strikes fear in most of us! But as usual, what’s shown in the media isn’t necessarily how things are; it’s just what sells tickets. This article is excerpted from a compilation of personal case histories of people I’ve read for. I wanted to share it because I’ve witnessed many times where those who did not believe in an afterlife were surprised with messages from loved ones, although they had been brought up to believe otherwise. I love watching someone experience the dawning of a new understanding as their former, limited belief system crumbles.
In the movie The Others , at one point there are several families sharing the same living quarters via multiple dimensions. One family has just newly passed on and at first do not understand they are no longer alive. They had been programmed during their own lives to have specific beliefs about what happens when you die, and specific beliefs about where you go when you die, so it didn’t occur to them that they were dead.
Since their beliefs did not coincide with what really happens, we see them taken through a journey of orientation where they are little by little introduced to new ideas and concepts until they can begin to understand and accept their new surroundings and their new living (no pun intended) status. The movie is an excellent study in witnessing the psychological process of a belief system being radically changed.
“Grief is work but it doesn’t have to be grim,” says Ina May Gaskin. “Sometimes when you check out of your physical body, your work takes on a new dimension.”
Being a psychic medium, I know that we survive physical death and literally go into another dimension, where we can still communicate with loved ones. Maybe having experienced that so often makes me feel more safe and secure about the process. I like what Abraham-Hicks has to say about death. “There is no sense of having left behind something. Instead, there is the exhilaration about what is on the other side.” They liken it to going from one room into another.
I’ve been told before that I have a very casual attitude about death and dying, and if I do, it’s only because from an early age, I learned that death was a fact of life. I’ve lost many family members and never thought of it as unfair or untimely. It’s just a part of life. When I was about 10, the man across the street died. He was my dad’s age and their son was my brother’s age. It transformed their family before our eyes; it was an early lesson to me that “sh*t happens.” Then the man at the end of the block died. The daughter was about 10 years my senior, and her dad drank a lot. We found him one early morning when we’d snuck down to the railroad tracks to play – apparently he’d fallen asleep on the tracks and a train hit him.
In my late teens and twenties, my grandparents began to die. In my 20’s, I lost 3 brothers, my husband and 5 friends. In my 30’s, I lost my husband, my father, a cousin and several friends. In my 40’s, I lost my husband and my mother, my mother in law and two close friends.
I’ve never felt that God didn’t have it all under control, whether it was done my way or not. I learned you can still communicate with loved ones who have passed on. As an aside, I’ve seen John Edward from Crossing Over in person and he’s the real deal. But how is this helpful to those of us left behind? It gives us comfort to know that there is something “after.” It gives us something to look forward to, and increases our feeling of staying connected to someone we love. I always think that when it’s my time, I’ve got lotsa friends and family waiting to welcome me home – and knowing they’re ‘there’ kinda demystifies the process for me and makes me feel safe and secure, no matter what.
From what I’ve experienced during readings with deceased loved ones in the past 20 years, I believe that when I die, it will be like dozing off in one place and waking up in another. Dozing off in one body and waking up in another or formless who knows? I feel that whatever happens, I’ll be granted enough presence of mind to move through the situation happily enough.
How can that be? I’ve been asked. Just look at the National Geographic program showing the cheetah stalking and catching the gazelle. You see them thrashing and hear the screams and imagine the worst. What you don’t consider is that at the first blow of trauma, the victim is either on its way out of its body, or its system is flooded with endorphins. Endorphins are your body’s natural painkiller and also Nature’s euthanasia. It is literally Nature’s morphine –> here’s how that works.
What we see the gazelle going through, and the sounds we hear her make, are a series of automatic responses and muscle memory. The consciousness of the gazelle is no longer in her body. If she’s alive, her brain is in an endorphin haze so she feels no pain. “She’s” already elsewhere. She’s on to bigger and better things, onto her next evolutionary stage.
MY DAD WAS IN A COMA FOR 2 WEEKS BEFORE HE DROPPED HIS BODY
Before my dad died in 1987, he was in a coma for two weeks. During that time, I’d visit him and I could feel him periodically squeeze my hand as he held it. Except he wasn’t holding it. I was holding his hand, and his muscles were reacting involuntarily. He would also make sounds and sighs and once sat partway up, which somehow I just knew had nothing to do with “him”, although his wife thought that meant he was alert and communicating. At that point, medical systems indicated that he was in a vegetative state.
Since that time, I’ve seen many who were in comas and of these, some were able to hear what was going on around them and communicate nonverbally, as evidenced by their later recollection after they’d come out of the coma. Years of training has developed my nervous system to be aware of the subtleties of energy, so I “knew” my father was already gone from the physical body whose hand I held. Just as I knew the “dead” pines trees in my west woods, which looked like charcoal sticks after the heavy burn of Summer 2004, still had life force in them and a year later, they began to green again.
From doing readings through the years with those who have crossed over, I know that without exception, when the moment comes, there is a deep peace and understanding, and that we are met by those we know who have passed before us. I’ve compiled some personal case studies that I want to share with you, about the experience of those who have crossed over.
Here I’ve listed several causes of death as reported to me by the one who had “died”, and what they experienced at the time of death.
Drowning He’d been sailing alone and got knocked over without a harness or life preserver. He found himself struggling in the water, then felt peaceful, then found the energy to swim to the surface. There he was met by passed loved ones as he reaches the beach
Car accident She fell asleep at the wheel and woke up as the car was heading off the road and into a tree. She thought she was thrown from the vehicle upon impact. She got herself out of the vehicle and walked back to the road where she saw cars pulled over to help. The first person she saw was her mom, who had passed earlier that year. Together they looked back at the accident scene.
Gunshot He was in an argument behind a bar in an alley with people he didn’t know. He thought he just missed being shot. His anger and sadness was gone and he felt peaceful as he walked back to his apartment.
Violence She was walking down the street and was attacked by a group of thugs. As she walked past them, her fear left her and she felt they changed their minds and let her pass. However when she looked back, she saw they did not let her pass. As she looked on the scene, she felt not a sadness, but just a sense of nature playing itself out, as when the frog catches and eats the fly.
Abused child Although he’d been abducted, it was by a family friend whom he was not afraid of. He thought they were playing a wrestling game. He thought it happened accidently. He didn’t feel any fear. He thought they were playing. He heard an inner voice say “Listen to me. It’s ok. Don’t be afraid.” He thought he ran to safety. He was met by his grandmother who had passed.
Heart Attack/Stroke She thought she had indigestion. She thought she went to bed and fell asleep and woke up to walk into her mother’s house when she was a child, a very good time in her life.
Heart Attack/Stroke He was dozing in his favorite chair watching tv and had some chest pains and thought it might be a heart attack. He reached for the phone and found he couldn’t move. He suddenly felt better and decided not to phone, and felt sleepy and dozed off. He woke up to hear his wife, who’d passed 7 years before, asking if he’d like rice or dumplings with his dinner.
Killed in a fall She thought she survived the fall and continued to hike until she ran into others on the trail ahead of her. As they hiked along together, she realized she knew them as loved ones who had passed.
Tractor accident He fell off the tractor and thought he just barely escaped being run over. He went around the field a complete turn after the accident and saw his dad call him in to supper early. As he went inside, he saw at the dining table loved ones there who had passed thru the years.
Caught in equipment at factory He broke his neck in a fall and when they moved him, he rolled off the stretcher and his neck snapped. He thought he’d been placed back on the stretcher. He could hear them talking to him and he thought he was talking back.
Pneumonia She was in the hospital; she had trouble breathing, and felt lightheaded. She watched the nurse came in and flip off the machine, and told her she was free to go home.
Elective surgery She went into a dream where she was at her youngest and most beautiful and as she experienced that again, she felt her life moving forward in time to when she went in for the procedure. She saw herself above her body, realizing she was gone.
Fall on tile bathroom floor He thought he got up from the floor, checked for bruises, and was glad to find none. He thought he went out the door for work and found himself in a camping situation with his grandfather and a brother who’d passed years before.
Aircraft They knew the aircraft was going down and there was chaos in the cabin, people crying and panicking. He felt the impact and looked up and saw everyone was calmed down, waiting to see what would happen next. It seemed foggy and smoky as they exited the aircraft. There was no runway or concourse, but there were lines of people waiting to meet the plane. He saw his bags and followed the man who carried them, who he soon realized was his grandfather, who led them to the old station wagon they used to drive. As they drove away, he realized what happened.
Fire/Asphyxiation A mother remembers waking to the smoke and running toward the flames to get her child to safety. She took her child outside and placed him on the ground, then reentered the house. She remembers getting confused in the smoke and being unable to open a door that had a hot doorknob. She was trying to stay low and was coughing because of the smoke. She suddenly felt a great peace, she felt a rush of fresh air, she felt the smoke lifting. She found herself sitting outside the house with her son until a rescue team arrived. A paramedic ignored her as he lifted her son onto a stretcher and gave him oxygen. She saw her deceased husband standing nearby as their son was lifted into the ambulance. He motioned for her to turn around and she saw a fireman carrying her body out of the burning house.
Strangulation She’d been arguing with her husband and he’d been drinking. They were having the same old fight they always had, over his jealous nature. This time he grabbed her by the throat and began squeezing until she couldn’t breathe. She was struggling, but he outweighed her by 100 pounds. She felt herself losing consciousness, which was a blessed relief from the struggle. When she awoke, she found herself alone in the house so she walked around to see where everyone was. As she moved through the house, she realized she was in a house they lived in years before. She walked into the kitchen and found her mother in law, who she loved very much, and who had passed a decade earlier, shelling peas.
Who do children meet if they wouldn’t recognize anyone who has passed over?
I’ve had children who are met by Santa Claus , whom they recognize as a person who brings happiness, or they see a favorite pet who has passed, which they follow “home”.
From my experience in communicating with those who have passed, by the time they look upon the body they left behind, their reaction is, “oh, that’s what happens”. They don’t freak out and they don’t feel emotional pain over the passing. They understand that others feel pain and they also understand it’s a human emotion and they will feel less pain as time goes on, much as we feel the first time our teenage daughter gets her heart broken. Yes, they know it feels devastating at the time, however they also know that with time, understanding will ease their pain.
The point is, we so fear the moment of death yet it’s an unfounded fear. When the moment comes, it’s not a fearful occurrence. We are met by those who, in life, we saw as our greatest comforters. The situations we find ourselves in after death are not fanciful with gold clouds and pearly gates, they are every day happenings that lend a sense of familiarity so we are not shocked and afraid as we find out we’ve passed. This helps to orient those who have been told to expect something else upon death, i.e., purgatory, Judgment Day, heaven, hell, etc.
So, what can we expect to experience?
1. We will be taken from our body before what we experience becomes unbearable.
2. No matter how much pain and trauma we’ve been in, we experience a deep peace at the moment of death, a deep sense of being comforted and loved.
3. We will be met by those we know and feel comforted by.
What is the value in knowing that “ghosts” or “spirits” exist? It confirms that life goes on and that we survive physical death. When we lose our fear of death, a more expansive life becomes available to us.
What is the value in interacting with “ghosts” or “spirits?” It demystifies a natural experience for us. It shows us that, just as here on Earth, there are many personalities to be dealt with and many levels of understanding, many dimensions some call it, many planes of existence. Most of the “ghosts” you encounter that inhabit a particular haunted place might be termed earthbound, and often have a repetitive routine that seems to be ultimately pointless. If they are able to communicate, they may be “stuck” on particular sentences and phrases, despite what you say to them in your attempt to engage them in dialogue.
So far that describes lotsa physical people I know as well *hehe* And that’s a big point. There are a lot of us in this world and we all can live harmoniously, together; physical, nonphysical, big, small, all ages, despite race, religion, whatever…
And not everyone in the nonphysical world is stuck or earthbound, that just happens to be who might be easiest to contact, since they’re hanging around. And remember, just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you’re smart or that you know what you’re talking about.
Example: You contact someone from the other side and ask them to describe what they see? You may get a former 5 year old boy telling all the colors and shapes he sees, as many as he has words for anyway. You may get a former botanist who goes into detail about plant species. You may get a former architect who describes the style of the buildings. You may get one of 5 blind men trying to describe the elephant. And they’re all telling you what they see, but they are all seeing it through their own personal filter.
Each is telling you what he sees, according to his capacity to see it and his ability to convey it. No different than the humans right here on Earth. You just have to know who to listen to so you can tell who’s blowing smoke and wanting attention, and who’s sharing useful information. Not much different than here on the physical side of our world, huh?
And then there are the contact sessions, where someone wants to contact a loved one. Many times it’s only after a loved one dies that we realize how much they meant to us. For many people, the guilt and shame of not having had a chance to reconcile with parents, siblings, children, before their death is a burden they carry with them their whole lives.
When they are learn they are able to communicate with those who have crossed to the Other Side, their life takes on new meaning. They are able to have their say and make their peace. They are given the opportunity to apologize and forgive. They are given the reassurance that they never walk alone and that they are watched over and guided every step of the way. They can heal past issues and bury past swords.
As a psychic medium, I often witness people going from being griefstricken, emotional wrecks to being once again productive members of their family and society, merely upon reassurance that their loved ones still “live” on. One new client had lost her husband of many years and, months later, she was still having daily crying jags that she felt affected her ability to concentrate at work. I went to visit her in her fairly new subdivision. She said they were in the process of moving into the new home when he passed unexpectedly.
The furniture and furnishings all appeared new, and she had 3 small white poodles who all danced clickedity-click across the tile floor. She put them in another room so their sounds wouldn’t distract me. We sat and got comfortable and almost immediately I got an image of a man, whom I described to her: tall, big shock of white hair, bifocal glasses with a paper clip where a screw should have held the earpiece on, plaid shirt and khaki pants and a booming voice. I saw him with a big tiger striped cat that he seemed to pet and scratch absentmindedly. She said that was him and that the cat had just died earlier that week. He’d always said he didn’t like cats, but she said she knew better and this proved she was right!
At this point, the dogs began barking and I told her he said one of the dogs was new, he didn’t recognize the one dog. They all looked the same age and size to me – a cat person – but two were several years old and one was very young. Suddenly a young woman was with him, and she picked up the cat and was affectionate with it and it with her. As I described her kinda old fashioned wedge hairstyle, red glasses and hoop earrings, I was told that was their daughter who had passed 13 years earlier. The cat had been hers from a kitten. She did not know these particular dogs, however the family apparently always had small white poodles. She made a remark to her dad that mom finally got her way because “his” dog – a studly male – now had pink toenail polish, and indeed all the dogs had pink toenail polish.
Her husband also noted that his wife had his favorite chair and desk back in the den she was using for storage, and that his clothes were still in their joint closet when she really could use the space for herself. He advised her to not hang on to anything on his account, he liked the way the new place looked and thought she would be happier there with less clutter in the back rooms.
It was such a lighthearted exchange that my client said most of the questions she wanted to ask were no longer relevant. I told her that if she spent some quiet time in meditation, that slowly she could attune to her husband and daughter, and communicate with them whenever she wished. I told her to know that, whenever she put forth the intent that she would like to communicate with them – or anyone else who had passed – that she could just express that thought and say what she wanted to say. And ask what she wanted to ask. And see what thoughts and guidance came to her in response.
As she became more practiced at this exercise, she was able to have a sense of direct communication with her passed loved ones, without having to have me, or another psychic or medium, intervene for her. She once again went back to work and got involved in several projects with friends, no longer overwhelmed and burdened by a sense of grief or loss.
As the holidays approach, it can be a sentimental time to recall holidays past, and it’s reassuring to know that there is really no death, no loss, no separation, except that which we choose for ourselves. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, every birthday, I feel my whole family is with me, just as in days past. The only difference is I’ve learned to be much more grateful now than I ever was way back then.
Here’s a poem my mom faxed me a few weeks before she passed, Author Unknown
If You Could See Where I Have Gone
If you could see where I have gone
the beauty of this place,
and how it feels to know you’re home
to see the Savior’s face.
To wake in peace and know no fear
just joy beyond compare,
while still on Earth you miss me yet,
you wouldn’t want me there,
if you could see where I have gone.
If you could see where I have gone,
had made the trip with me,
you’d know I didn’t go alone
the Savior came with me.
When I awoke, He was by my side
and reached down His hand
He said “Hurry now, you’re going Home,
to a grand and glorious land,
don’t worry over those you love,
for I’m not just with you,
and don’t you know with you at Home
they’ll long to be here, too?”
If you could see where I have gone
and see what I’ve been shown
You’d never know another fear
or ever feel alone.
You’d marvel at the care of God
His hand on every life.
And realize that He really cares
and bears with us each strife,
and that He weeps when one is lost
His heart is filled with pain;
but oh, the joy when one comes Home
A child is Home again.
If you could see where I have gone,
could stay awhile with me;
could share the things that God has made
to grace eternity.
But no, you couldn’t ever leave
once Heaven’s joy you’ve known,
you couldn’t bear to walk Earth’s paths
once Heaven was your Home.
If you could see where I have gone
you’d know we’ll meet someday
And though I’m parted from you now
that I am just away.
And now that I’m Home with Him,
secure in every way,
I’m waiting here at Heaven’s door
to greet you some sweet day.
RELATED: A Friend and I Talk About Dying and Easy Transitions
Remember “we” survive after death of the body
Her perception upon dying
Hard as it is, get used to death
How to forgive and find closure if the other is unwilling, absent or dead
Why pretend loved ones aren’t going to die? Let’s get over the fear