Coming back from the mailbox, I saw a lone armadillo along the garden path, foraging in the mulch. They usually travel in families but she was alone today. I love armadillo energy. It is all about defining space, setting boundaries, and letting things roll right off. I’ve had to cancel a few phone sessions because of my voice, and armadillo reminds me to roll myself up in my own positive energy, that my own medicine is within myself.
Monthly Archives: June 2014
It isn’t easy having a recluse as a partner
What really rocks is having a boyfriend who understands the concept of me holding a silent retreat with myself at my own home and helps me maintain the atmosphere to stay in the bhav. It takes a certain kinda partner to grok a mate who is by nature a recluse. I couldn’t have made a better choice if I’d done it on purpose.
To all the “sensitives” out there complaining of everyone else’s “negative energy” attaching to them, if you cleared up and released your own past baggage, it would have nothing to attach to. Big Giant Secret: No one can weave a bond of discord with you if you contribute no strands to the weaving.
My dad died on Father’s Day 1987
My dad died on Father’s Day 1987. This is only a sad story if we believe there is only one life and this is it. I KNOW IT IS NOT. This is not a sad story to me. This is a success story of someone who made a hard decision and chose his own way out, in his own time. Today marks 37 years since my dad committed suicide age 62. He could be psychologically abusive. He smacked us at times. He was what they now call bi-polar. He used to drink Canadian Club. As teens, none of us got along with him, the typical syndrome when you think you hate your father.
He was strict and controlling. He had a 6th grade education, worked construction. I know now that he did a long hard job and came home to kids who smart mouthed him. That couldn’t have been easy. He mellowed after my youngest brother, Bobby, committed suicide in 1976 at the age of 22.
Daddy took massive amounts — up to 80+ a day at the end (that’s like 3 an hour, he seldom slept) — of Tylenol 4 with codeine due to a back injury that left him partially disabled. Pain controlled his life. Years of drinking and Rx had taken its toll on his judgment and he could see no way out. In 1987, he shot himself, as my brother did 11 years earlier.
My father was a troubled soul, a shell shocked (PTSD) veteran, alcoholic, addicted to painkillers from an injury. After he shot himself, he was in a coma for almost 2 weeks before he dropped his body. The night nurse would tell me that he was “marching” in his sleep. Even in sleep he was working out his stuff. I left dad’s bedside at Baptist Hospital in Miami where I’d signed for him to be taken off life support and it was a cathartic 3 hours drive home north along highway AIA, the ocean drive. Mom held a lot of guilt that dad kept so many secrets and estranged his family, yet her choice was to stay or leave. She stayed as long as she could.
When loved ones are passing, know that our consciousness links up with theirs and we are able to send them love and comfort and have the final conversations we could never have in waking life. Know that nothing unsaid ever needs to remain unresolved.
He died on Father’s Day. Free at last, Daddy.
How to forgive and find closure if the other is unwilling, absent or dead
The End of Death As We Know It
If you could see where I have gone
Revisiting the childhood father energy
What I “have”? What I don’t “have”?
Thomas DuJardin
If I am only paying attention to the physical, I am missing everything. This body is such a small fraction of what is. Thomas duJardin
After the Ecstasy, the Laundry: Housework as a Spiritual Path
Laundry has never been an issue. No kids, I’ve always done my own and my mates do their own. I’ll wear something until I sweat in it. Lately I’ve been working in the yard a few times a day = more laundry. Working out every day = more laundry. Thus, Sunday morning has become laundry day. The past year I’ve been staying home Sunday mornings, taking a break from church to catch up on personal time. I like having nowhere I have to be and no one to answer to. I’ve found that doing the laundry is a valid spiritual path. Keeping my own home clean and cleared of unnecessary items has become a great metaphor for keeping my life clear and uncluttered. When I find things piling up, that reveals my state of mind. Continue reading
Create more space for intimacy – don’t bring unresolved baggage into a new relationship
Jeff Brown
soulshaping.com
When I would go to bed with a woman when I was young, I didn’t realize that there were many of us in the bed at the same time. There was her and I, her parents, my parents, our past lovers and anyone else we had unfinished business with. That’s the thing about being unconscious – we can’t help but bring our unresolved baggage into every other relational encounter. We imagine it’s just the two of us, but our projections and patterns ensure that the bed is symbolically filled with many others.Talk about an unwelcome orgy! A little hard to move around freely with so many projections on the mattress. One of the reasons we do the work to heal our past is so that we can actually create more space for intimacy. With our patterns fallen away, we stand a much better chance of holding love safe. With our projections worked through, we can actually see the beloved with clear eyes. Finally, its just the two of us… Jeff Brown
Related: Satori in the Bedroom
I love it when I attract the best case scenario
Next week is the bf’s birthday and he deserves something special. Gotta love an even tempered man who knows what’s important in life. In 12 months we’ve had zero arguments and I’ve belly-laughed out loud every single day. How does it get any better than this?
It’s not a valid affirmation if it’s not true
A friend questioned the validity of repeating affirmations that are untrue, in the hopes of trying to convince yourself of something. That’s where people go wrong with their “affirmations.” You can’t choose a phrase that you know isn’t true. You choose a phrase that is a true statement of something you want to be made more fully aware of. I can say “in this moment I have all I need,” and it’s true. That repeated true phrase leads me to more fully realize that truth. Sure, the car payment may be due Thursday and if I don’t have it right now, I know I’ll have it by Thursday. But I’m talking about right now. Not tomorrow, not yesterday. Can I pay off my mortgage right now? No. Do I have in this moment all I need? Yes, absolutely. And the more I realize that, the wider my eyes will open and the wider my mind will open to encompass new ideas, possibilities and opportunities.
If one income stream slows down, be on the lookout for opportunity
If one door, whether it be relationship or a stream of dollars, is beginning to close and momentum seems to be slowing down, that’s your signal to look around because another is staring you in the face, waiting to be discovered. Trust me, the Universe is waiting to delight you. You’ve just got to get into the vibe of allowing it. How do you get into the vibe? By looking for it. Look for something to interest and excite you. By expecting it. Expect that any moment you may have opportunity staring you in the face, possibly disguised as the most unimportant, mundane nothingness ever. Look at everything around you as though you expect it to whisper the answer to you, and it will begin to. How do you allow it? You allow it by dropping all resistance; resistance to anything, since it’s all related. You clear up the past and forgive anything you’ve left unforgiven. Then stand back and watch the floodgates open in ways you never thought possible. Continue reading