Daddy Free At Last

My father was a troubled soul, bipolar, a shell shocked (PTSD) veteran, alcoholic, addicted to painkillers from an injury. He shot himself in June 1987.  He was in a coma for almost two weeks before he dropped his body. The night nurse would tell me that he was marching in his sleep. Even in sleep he was working out his stuff.  I began driving as Garrison Keillor’s final show of Prairie Home Companion came on. I’d just left my dad’s bedside at Baptist Hospital in Miami where I’d signed for him to be taken off life support.  His wife did not want to sign without me, so I signed and within minutes he had passed.

I drove the 3 hours north along highway AIA, the ocean drive, and caught Prairie Home Companion’s final show, a Father’s Day show, on various public radio stations all along the way up.  It was a very healing and cleansing experience. I much later realized my dad was simply doing the best he could under the circumstances.  My mother held a lot of guilt that my father kept so many secrets and estranged his family, yet her choice was to stay or leave. She stayed as long as she could.

When loved ones are passing, know that our consciousness links up with theirs and we are able to send them love and comfort and have the final conversations we could never have in waking life. Know that nothing unsaid ever needs to remain unresolved.

How to forgive and find closure if the other is unwilling, absent or dead
The End of Death As We Know It
If you could see where I have gone
Revisiting the childhood father energy