Monthly Archives: May 2014

When we’re at MY place and I’m training MY cat, I’d appreciate you not holding an opposing thought form that makes me address MY issue of giving you so much power over my experience. Thank you.

That woman loves you and she’d be in it for the long haul if she knew she could trust you. Fess up so she knows she can.

Get a Grip

Get a Grip

Get a grip.  You have a chance for a real life with her.  You can be honest with her now or you can continue to let your lies eat away your entire life.  It’s your choice.  So what if you cop to a few stupid lies that she repeated thinking it was gospel?  She’ll be proud you were courageous enough to admit it, knowing how painful it was for you.  Honor her by stopping this cycle.  When you do, the floodgates will open like you’ve been waiting for all your life.  Show that your love for her is so much bigger than your pride.

If I’ve explained and apologized for my part and they don’t and still want to hold a grudge, I will honor their decision

A friend announced publicly they want to heal a situation, yet privately it’s another story. They keep avoiding the point of the simple questions asked, they change the topic, they get angry, they come up with new things to blame me for and continue to deny responsibility. We’re not vibing in the same place, so we’re not in the same conversation.  They can’t sit with the consequences of what they’ve done.  I get punished with anger for pointing out the truth in areas they are not ready to self reflect and do inner work.  I can’t make anyone dig deep or own anything they are not ready to own. When this happens, until someone can be real with me, I grant them the honor of privacy and bless them upon their path. People who can’t handle themselves emotionally raise kids who can’t handle themselves emotionally.   It’s a viscious cycle, but it’s breakable with a little conscious effort.  Either way, it’s not my job to monitor anyone but my own self, and I’ve got my hands full with that. If I’m doing the work, I’m not worried about who isn’t doing the work.

RELATED: Deep transparency requires deep compassion and courage
Conscious Coupling: Having Resolved the Past is How We Stay Conscious In the Now

Don’t take score too soon, give the soup time to brew

Hanuman open heartIt might be easy to say a friend doesn’t care to make amends if it involves any soul searching on their part. But that would be a limited, egoic mind’s perception of it.  We all process things differently.  The immediate response of someone with no emotional vocabulary will be different than someone who is used to talking everything out.  One may feel cornered and initially respond like a trapped animal. And they ARE trapped, trapped in past programming of maybe as a kid being interrogated and in trouble, who knows. You may think you are asking a casual question. They may take it as a verbal attack. They may respond in anger.  That is just the egomind/personality feeling it must defend from the overshadowing of the soul. It will pass. It’s been asked an important question and it would like to know the answer itself. Give it time for thought.  The personality wants the soul to unfold. It is just unfamiliar ground, so the first steps are shaky and uncertain. The beaten dog can bite the kindest hand. Don’t take score too soon.  Don’t take score. Let the soul unfold itself and keep the question in motion. Give the answer time to brew and there will be joy in the sharing of it.

RELATED:  When they insist on holding a grudge

When we have different recollections

memoryTwo friends are discussing an incident of a year ago. They have very different recollections of it. One is relying on memory, one has a written record. Both believe their version to be true. What one experienced was not what the other experienced.  Since they never discussed it, they did not know that until a year later.  It’s important to remember in any encounter that what one experiences is not necessarily what the other experiences.  If we’re in the presence of something we are not a vibrational match to, we can miss it completely even if it is right in front of our face. This is why, in court, circumstantial evidence is far more accurate than eyewitness testimony.  According to a recent study, your memories are changed by the act of recalling them, meaning that every memory we have is colored by the times we’ve recollected it before.The research shows that recalling a memory more often makes that memory less accurate, and that every time you take a memory off the shelf in your brain, you put it back just a tiny bit different.  That’s because instead of remembering the actual memory, you’re recalling the memory of the last time you remembered it and any mistakes that might have been introduced there. Like a game of human telephone, those mistakes can build on one another over time, leaving out details and introducing mistakes.

From Brain Distorts Memories Every Time It Recalls Them

I can’t know when someone is doing all they can

When I see someone doing far less than I know they are capable of, and far less happy than I know they can be, I can’t help but want more for them. But if I continue to hold that thought, I’m not entertaining the notion they may be growing or benefiting in ways I can’t even imagine. After all, it’s none of my freaken business anyway and I’ve gotta get the log out of my own eye first.

Heaven is literally right in my own back yard

Even though it’s deadline week for the magazine, I’ve been spending time working in my yard. I love it. I mowed the back lawn yesterday and the front today.  This weekend, I’d redesigned my garage so the trash bins would be kept outside. That meant moving the entrance to the east garden path about four feet south, which I did. I lined the new path with six spider plants which I repotted with more dirt and mulch.  I dug up a bunch of philodendron to widen the path. I watered everything under the canopy, all around the property. I like that I can walk all around my yard almost completely under the shade of tall oaks and pines. I tend to look at my yard in sections, as I work in it, rather than as a whole. I seldom just walk outside to bask in the beauty of it. I’m usually on my way to work on something and stay focused on that. This week I’ve been seeing my yard with new eyes. It once again looks like a nice, big park with its trails and sitting areas. It feels relaxing to just walk around out there, without a chore in mind. And when I’m in that state of mind that there’s nothing to do except to enjoy what is right in front of me, that’s heaven.