It’s nice sometimes to just sit in the dim light and reflect on the things around me. As I was typing the Table of Contents for the upcoming Horizons Magazine, I looked at the graphic image of the rosebud. Tight in a bud ~ I could almost feel the tightness. I got a sense of anticipation, of tension, of a wanting to relax into fullness, of a wanting to ex-press oneself. (Express: to make known, to force out, to subject to pressure so as to extract) I thought, that’s true of so many of the people I know now. So many on the verge of bursting forth and ex-pressing themselves. That’s why I chose a rosebud and the accompanying Anais Nin quote on the Table of Contents: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  Continue reading →

A couple of people have asked me what I think are the karmic implications of bootlegging cds for friends, so I’m posting something I initially wrote in 1997:

The Universe Crashes My Computer
So what’s playing out in my life right now and what lessons are there to be learned from it? Hmmm, I have this big cold slowing me down, making me have to rush at the end to get this issue done on time; then one day away from completion, my computer’s Pagemaker program crashed and I was left with pages of magazine articles unprinted, no way to even open them up and no layout program to help put them together if I could open them up! I took this as a sign from the Universe to go where I wouldn’t be distracted, sit quietly, and ask (1) what was to be learned from this and (2) what was my quickest way out of it? Continue reading →

Watching Over

In October 1997, we witnessed the passing of two profound women who lived their lives as a testament to caring for and comforting others. Both Princess Diana and Mother Teresa were monumentally compassionate and courageous and, as Jean Houston so poignantly put it, “willing to shine light in places many of us are afraid to go.“ I personally thought, “what better time for the most compassionate Mother on Earth to leave than when an entire nation was mourning the passing of such a beloved sister and princess.” I truly feel that we affect others more profoundly from the non-physical than we can from the physical. I truly believe that yes, while Mother Teresa was in her body, she helped and comforted many, yet she held many more in her heart than she could in her arms. I believe those who gazed upon her radiance from afar were just as comforted as those within hand’s reach, for even we who saw her only on tv were moved by her, even if for a brief moment to consider someone in our lifetime who was so openly compassionate and displayed such enormous faith. Continue reading →

Yesterday I walked around the property while it was still cool in the morning, and sprayed the air potato vines.  This year I really have them under control, but that took several years of spraying during the season.  They are pretty, but they choke out everything they wind around.  Sound like anyone you know?   I cleared out my car to prepare for this weekend’s delivery of the September Horizons and ran out to do some errands.  On the way back, I stopped at Mid Eastern Aromas by FlaTech, where I picked up a veggie combo (eggplant and pickle!) sandwich and their stuffed grape leaves appetizer, which comes with hummus.  After lunch, I saw Izzy lying on a table in my office and he looked so adorable I took a short video of him for Facebook. The Izzy Cam seems to be popular on Facebook.  At one point, I rubbed his belly and I don’t know why out of all the freeze frames that Facebook had to choose that split second my arm was in the shot.  I was wearing my wrist brace, since my right paw has been on the mend for a few days, and it’s kind of goofy looking.  Goofy looking because when I first got them, I dyed them pink, and they are pretty shaggy by now. But they work, so I don’t care how they look. Continue reading →

Yesterday morning I had just finished up some work and spent a few minutes web surfing and came across the Gateway to Agape Choir singing a favorite song “Wholly Holy Way” It was perfect timing before my 4:00am morning meditation.  Afterward, I napped until 8:30am and then went to see Dr. David Rindge, my acupuncture physician, for some laser therapy for my right paw.  I’d over worked it with the computer mouse during the last week of final layout, so after a little R & R it will be fine again.  The laser treatment gives almost instant relief.  Thanks to David, I never had carpal tunnel surgery after a car accident in September 2000 as two doctors recommended.  Every few years I might overdo it like this week, and the laser treatment fixes me right up.  On the way home I stopped at the produce stand and got roma tomatoes, scallions, mushrooms, garlic and yellow onions. I eat a lot of onions and garlic. It keeps my immune system in tip top shape.  Back home, I spent an hour putting online my new recipe for Low Fat Pasta with Cherry Tomatoes, Calamata Olives and Capers, then I made some for lunch. Continue reading →

You know that song Any Day Now by Ronnie Milsap This favorite song has such a fun, upbeat tune and such sad words.  It used to bother me, thinking I could no longer listen to it, so I would not “program” myself with “negative” input.  Then I realized I didn’t have to make such a big deal of it.  I could just assign different meanings to the words.  Like living in the ashram and when we’d hear pop music, we’d change the love songs into songs to Krshna. The song now is simply to the beloved who has found their way to The Beloved.  No sadness and loss in being left by one who has a higher calling.  And the same with another favorite song, Only the Lonely by Roy Orbison.  I love the upbeat tune that just makes my body want to dance, and whatever key it is in, just makes the cells of my body come alive.  But if you hear the words with conventional meaning, it’s a sappy, pathetic song.  So I just asign different meanings to the words.  When I hear the words, I think, “Yes, only the blissfully solitary can have any idea of how wonderfully free and joyous it feels to answer to no one and to immerse yourself into everything around you, and find joy in the being with it.”  So I adore the song and it makes me happy, even though everyone else may not get it as a happy song.  Just like in the rest of life, we have to read between the lines and extract the pleasure and joy out of every single thing that faces us.  Especially if, like the song, we’re going to let it play over and over in our thoughts. Continue reading →

Looks innocent, huh?

I discovered something the other day that I forgot about snack type things.  They contain sodium and make you retain water!  The last time I ate anything like pretzels or chips or packaged cookies was like 5 or more years ago, so it’s easy for me to forget about what they do to the body.  I’d picked up a one ounce bag of little pretzels and nibbled on them through the day.  There were 120 of them in the bag.  You know, those little half dollar size pretzels with big chunks of yummy salt.  I was working away and thought, what a great idea pretzels are since they are low fat and easy to eat while I work.  I don’t usually eat in the office.  So I worked through lunch and dinner and didn’t feel hungry, although about 3:00pm I had the urge to make iced tea.  Which I had not done for maybe a year.  And I wanted lemon and sugar in it, which I haven’t done for several years.  The snack made me thirsty and I guess the salt made me want sugar and the sweet made me want sour.  Typically I simply drink water, but I made a big pot of iced raspberry tea and by midnight had drank all of it.  A day later I got on the scale and weighed 4 pounds more.  WTF?  My weight has stayed within 2 pounds for the past 4 years. I forgot that is what that kind of food does!  Two days later I was back to normal but I reflected on the body changes.  The tummy satisfaction made me forget the purpose of eating is for body fuel and to maintain cell structure so, since I wasn’t hungry, I skipped 2 meals of nutritious food that day.

Never-ending wheel

I felt sluggish about halfway into the bag, and had no real energy for 2 days.  My tum defnitely felt gassy for 2 days.  After a day of eating salads and veggies and protein, I felt back to normal again.  Interesting I’d forgotten about that whole salt and sugar hamster wheel that happens when I eat the processed food.  I wonder how many other people who have no energy eat stuff like this and don’t see the connection?  How many are on the hamster wheel and don’t realize it?  Hmmm.

Izzy my moose, stretched out in the window

I joke about my cat Izzy being so big since he’s a Maine Coon kitty.  He’s 28″ long with a 16″ tail and weight just over 30 pounds.  I call him my Moose.  He’s so much bigger than other kitties, and he has a very un-cat like personality.  YinYang, on the other paw, is my little masked harlequin kitty, white with black splotches on her.  I call her my little mini-cow since when she lies down, her body kind of spreads out and she looks like a little heifer.  Last night I had a dream that I was watching tv and a new show was coming on, and the title was The Moose and the Mini-Cow.  The song was “It’s about time, it’s about space, about 2 cats in the strangest place.”

Yinny the Mini Cow

When we used to sing that tv show theme song back in 1966, we would say the word “cats” for “men” since my Uncle Andy used all the beatnik phrases and we got it from him.   There’s no point to this story other than I thought it was funny.

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LISTEN TO FREE SAMPLES: Out of Body Experience
and Connecting with your Angels, Guides

I managed to wear out my right paw during the 14-18 hour days this past week finishing up the September Horizons, so this will be short. In fact, I cheated and wrote this a couple of months ago and had in fact forgotten it until now.  Recently, a client who had negotiated a particularly long term contract decided they wanted to back out and asked for a refund.  I’d spend considerable time on the phone with her last year making sure it was what she wanted to do, and I gave her a good price for the 2 year run.  Each month she couldn’t seem to get the info to her ad designer on time, so there was always a lot of back at forth at the last minute to get the ad in by deadline.  That was my first red flag.  My second was that although she’s a life coach for others to attract abundance (why is everyone that these days?), she cuts corners and solicits friends for business in social situations.  Instead of really listening to them, she dissects their conversations for words that she believes indicate they need her help.  She gives unsolicited advice to the point it’s hard for some people to be around her.  We all know someone like that, don’t we, or several? Continue reading →

I finished final layout for the September issue of Horizons just in the nick of time last night.  Now I just need to spend a few hours proofing it before sending it off to the printer. I used to freak out if I was this late finishing it up.  But now, 17 years later, I know I always manage to get it done on time.  And nothing changed but how I perceived it and how I reacted to it.  A change in perception can literally change your world. In 1995, I bought a Geo Metro.  You know, one of those little roller skate sized cars that got really good mileage.  It was the last regular car I had until the Toyota Prius I bought last year. In between, I had SUVs and vans.  I always needed to have a vehicle I could haul thousands of magazines in if I had to.  One day, I’d driven over to Tampa to pick up the magazines from the printer, and the job filled the entire car.  Typically a 7 hour round trip, I was driving home much later since I’d visited with my mom for a couple of hours.  I was about 2 hours from home and had a phone appointment in 3 hours.  Then I got a flat tire.  The Geo Metro had one of those little donut spare tires, and it was, you guessed it, under the floorboard of the hatchback area.  Which had several thousand magazines piled on top of it.  So here I was, after a long day, alone, having to unload stacks and stacks of magazines to get to the spare and change the tire.  It took me about 30 minutes.  I timed it so that I was doing all this alongside the after-work-Disney-area-traffic.  Perfect timing on my part.  Can you imagine how I felt that day?  How would you have felt? Continue reading →