You may no longer be partners but you are still parents

balanceA Facebook friend posted: “My ex had a death in the family and everyone is gathering out of state for the funeral. He has to work so he’d be alone. Nobody should be alone on Christmas so I invited him to the house for dinner. I’ve learned I do not have to account for what others think of me or how they treat me. But I do have to look in the mirror and respect the person staring back at me. I have seen grown children confront their mother and say, “I could’ve had a good relationship with my father if it hadn’t been for you.” I will never stand in the way of my children and their father. It’s childish and only hurts the children. We may no longer be husband and wife but we will always be mother and father to those two beautiful children. I love my kids and they love their dad. I just want to do what’s right.” 

I do not know this person’s personal situation, but it shouldn’t matter since she knows it’s all about respect and the children. I have a friend with the same mindset and if you knew her story you would think she’s a saint. Her ex is verbally abusive to her, he gloats about past infidelities, flaunts his girlfriend du jour in front of the kids, he smack talks her in front of their four children that he barely and begrudgingly pays support for.

And still she knows it’s not about what HE does, it’s about what SHE does, DESPITE what he does. She doesn’t criticize him and doesn’t makes excuses for him. The kids are old enough to notice who’s naughty and who’s nice. Bless single parents raising kids on their own under challenging circumstances.

mom-hugging-kidsThe unknown FBF said it best, “I’ve learned I do not have to account for what others think of me or how they treat me. But I do have to look in the mirror and respect the person staring back at me. I will never stand in the way of my children and their father. It’s childish and only hurts the children. We may no longer be husband and wife but we will always be mother and father to those two beautiful children. I love my kids and they love their dad. I just want to do what’s right.”

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