So, here you are at the end of 2009 and you have got about 3 days to tie up any loose ends you may have for the year. Lots of friends this year left their long time careers, sometimes without another job to go to. Many friends are also moving now, lots of nests being emptied, and lots of garbage, too! It seems to me that we’re getting less tolerant of the garbage in our lives and are taking active steps to toss it out, and this usually means big lifestyle changes. When we start working on getting rid of our garbage, there might be friends that drop out of the picture in the process as well.
My experience is that the friends we meet and interact with are in our lives for as long as we are of value to each other. Once we’re no longer growing or learning from the relationship, we naturally drift apart. I say naturally because it needn’t be a traumatic event when relationships change, as long as we realize that there will always be people in our lives that reflect some aspect of ourselves.
Pain and heartbreak only come when we try to hang onto something which is no longer ours by right of consciousness. As a culture, we tend to leave claw marks on situations and people that we’ve long outgrown, simply because we fear there will be nothing after they leave. Or we fear we will be nothing after they leave.
So, the more we vibrate in that space of who we really are and what we really want to do, the more people like that we attract to ourselves, and the more fun we have and the clearer we are to follow our dream. So know that you “welcome” others into your experience by virtue of your vibrational stance, and the only way to change how you’re vibrating about something is to change your mind, i.e., change your thoughts about it. Change your self talk about it.
YOUR WORLD REFLECTS YOUR THOUGHTS. Whether we believe it or not, we are all living out today the result of every thought we’ve had up until now. Realizing that is the good news. The better news is that we can change it if we don’t like it. There IS no bad news. Rather than thinking what a jerk your boss is and telling all your friends about what a jerk your boss is, begin to consider that perhaps she’s just doing the best she can, perhaps she feels overwhelmed with more responsibility than she can handle, perhaps you could help lighten her load and try to see past the outer drama to the person beneath who needs your love and understanding. Ouch, tough one, huh? The way to change a situation is to change your attitude about it. Fake it until you make it? Yes.
BURNING BOWL CEREMONY. So, here you are nearing the close of yet another year. You’ve made progress in some areas, found a level of comfort in other areas. You’re ready for some changes. I’ve found the burning bowl ceremony to be a helpful process to help me release what I’m ready to be free of, and to set change in motion. I do one at each full moon but the important one is at the end of the year. I have a chimenea I use, or sometimes the outside firepit.
First, I sit and make a list of all things in my life that I’m ready to come to conclusion with. I write as much about each subject as it takes to feel that I have gotten my feelings about it on paper. I usually write that I’m grateful for the lesson each person or event has brought me, and that I want all parties to have peace about the matter. I write down the lessons I’ve learned from it and then I write about what I’d prefer to be happening rather than what is happening.
Then I make a small fire in the chimenea. I take all my pieces of paper and state my intention that in burning each page, I am resolving the issue and putting it behind me. That any time my mind turns to this subject, I will consciously remember and self talk to myself, “this matter is being handled by a higher authority, so I can let go of my thoughts about it.”
WRAPPING IT UP. Okay, you’ve made your lists, begun to consider your priorities for 2010, and decided to unload a little more baggage every day until the New Year. So each day you will wake up and consider, “What small step can I make today that will help lighten my load? What little act of patience and understanding can I do with the one who troubles me most?” and each night you will consider, “What progress did I make today? What act or word would I take back if I could, and redo another way? How would I redo it?”
I love daily and nightly exercises like this; they help me stay on purpose. And for 2010, my intended purpose is to have lots of fun and spend time with friends and share lots of new ideas with them. My intent is to spend lots of time writing and drawing in my backyard.
I want to have lots of moonlit dances on my street at midnight and spent lots of time cuddling my cats and foraging in the woods with them. And, most of all, I intend to spend time with those who are closest to me, and who share my life and love.
And to recognize that can be an ever-changing thing.
And that it’s all good.
LISTEN FREE: You Are Not the Body