The word prayer used to tick me off . For too many years it reminded me of the big fearful guy in the sky who stood ready to smite at the smallest transgression. It was only later I learned that was not what God was and that was not what prayer was. I didn’t use the words for many years because those words alienated me and I did not want to alienate anyone I was trying to convey processes and techniques to. Sometimes I think of prayer as asking for someone with greater knowledge and influence than I have to join with me in creating a new circumstance that I am fully aware of being able to create by faith in my own focus of thought but it helps me to imagine there is a co-Creator, an energetic Investor with far more resources than I, Who can guarantee the success. When I think of it that way it activates my internal guidance system and I get as much response as if I was sitting having coffee with you.

Remember that just because something feels familiar and comfortable doesn’t mean it’s good for you. When people go from one toxic or abusive relationship to another, for instance, it’s because that is what feels normal, it’s what feels familiar. Being able to adjust to an abnormal situation isn’t always healthy.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. I’m going to take all the negativity in my life and I’m going to use it as fuel to find a silver lining. That takes work but I’m up to it and so are you.

To be great, you have to be willing to be mocked, hated and misunderstood. We undergo a crucifixion in every lifetime and our response to it balances karmic debt and determines how long we keep ourselves on the cross. It’s the same as coming to the altar to pray, expecting to receive fully, when we’ve not first forgiven everyone and everything. The initiation is in being mocked, hated and misunderstood. We run the gauntlet of the initiation by how we respond and react. The honor and blessing of it is being given an opportunity to resolve the past, do things differently and make a clean start. It’s a holy endeavor.

Whether you love me forever is irrelevant. What is relevant is that, while you love me, you love me fully. We don’t regret our past, we don’t anticipate a future. We enjoy each holy, sacred moment we’ve got right Now and we stay flexible enough to ever-morph into more of what our work together is to be. Who’s to say whether that’s 24 more hours or 24 more years? All that matters to me is that in the Now, I feel happy, I feel content, I feel I am doing meaningful work, I feel that I love and am loved, I am having fun, I feel emotionally supported. At some point, I learned it’s irrelevant whether that love comes from a particular person or not, and learned the duration had zero to do with it. The intensity of the connectedness and fun-ness in the Now is everything. Everything.

Funny how we can fail to see things that are right in front of us because we expect it to appear in a different form . Remember last week when I had to ask my neighbor for brown sugar for the bourbon chicken? Today I bought 2 boxes of brown sugar and I went to put it in the pantry and I noticed I already had brown sugar there. I did not see it before because it was not in the brown box I was used to buying it in; it was in a bag that was lying flat on the shelf. I need to stop being blind to the good that is coming my way so when it appears in a form I do not expect, I don’t miss it.

A former friend was arrested locally for grabbing a woman’s crotch. He got himself on the Sex Offender Registry in 2012 following conviction in a Florence, SC indecent exposure case.  In September he showed up at my door when he’s been told to stay away. December 22, 2016 he  was picked up for violation of his pre-trial release order.  He’s fond of saying any publicity is good publicity and he can charm his way out of anything. Sure you can, my friend, but holding a mask up is a full time job and sooner or later it’s going to exhaust you. Aren’t you tired yet? A troubled individual, maybe now he’ll get the help he needs. Here’s the article Palm Bay Man Arrested For Grabbing Woman’s Crotch .   

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If you had any idea how much you were being energetically and financially held back by the stacks of clutter you let collect in your life, you’d go on a purging rampage like never before. And you can keep whatever you want. Get a bunch of boxes and a giant magic marker, box it all up, stack it and label the boxes. You can’t expect anything in your world to change, you cannot expect to get out of your rut if you keep doing the same thing everyday, keep having the same thoughts every day and keep looking at the same stacks of clutter every day. A big step in pulling yourself out of your own rut is keeping the path clear so you can come and go as you please.

I had a misconception about the crock pot. For some reason I thought it was supposed to be easier. I thought I could skip all sorts of pre cooking steps and the crockpot would do all the work. I see now the crockpot just does the boiling. I would still have to saute and brown or roast and flavor each layer of ingredients the way I would a stove top soup or stew. So I’m actually using an extra pot and I still have to watch it the same as I would have to watch a pot on the stove cooking something for hours. For this soup, I began by sauteing my vegetables in olive oil and tarragon and rosemary to brown them, 1 large onion, 2 carrots, 2 stalks of celery, 8 cloves of garlic, 1 fat bay leaf, 1/3 head of cauliflower. I chopped 2 large potatoes and added to the crockpot and poured the sauteed vegetables on top. 1 tbsp fresh rosemary, 1 tsp tarragon, 3 sprigs fresh thyme, a few shakes of red pepper, I added a shredded ham hock from in the freezer then added 8 oz low sodium chicken broth, then added water to cover. I cooked it on low for 4 hours, then added half a bag of kale and cooked on low for another hour.