This afternoon for the first time in months I turned on the tv in time to catch part of an episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County.  Everyone was still fighting over stupid misunderstandings about what this one said or did. The past year, I watched those shows on a regular basis and, although they could be aggravating, a few minutes of muting fixed that. It wasn’t all that bothersome and it didn’t stick with me. Today, I couldn’t bear to watch even a few moments of the bickering and immediately turned it off. I went outside to sit in the garden and watch the jays at the birdbath. I realized, watching the birds all jockey for position and compete among themselves, what it was: why I could stand to watch it on a regular basis before and not for a moment now.   Back then, I was living in a daily vibe that felt natural to, a vibe where that was the norm, the status quo.  Now I am not.  Evolution.

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When a group is ready to break up, the members give off subtle signs. They display a restlessness. They arrive late, communicate less, are distracted. At some level the participants know it is time to move on, but they need a while to work up to that final step.  This process applies in many situations where an ending is approaching. Nothing is permanent in life. Sooner or later, everything slips away… or we slip away from it. The Eight of Cups stands for those moments when we realize, once and for all, that the past is gone. What was true is no longer true. The signs of change are in our face, and we must accept them. It is time to move on.    Moving on can mean a physical change such as leaving a job, location or relationship. It can also mean an inner change – releasing old patterns that have dominated our thoughts and emotions. On the Eight of Cups, we see a man leaving on a journey. He has turned away from his old feelings (cups/river) to strike out on a new path. Sometimes moving on can mean searching for a deeper truth or reality. One day we wake up and realize that we have been asleep in our own lives – living a dream that no longer satisfies.  Some changes can be wearying. Endings are not always easy. One of the signs of a readiness to leave is lack of energy. When you feel tired and dispirited, you know that something is wrong, and it’s time for a new direction. Reexamine your life and your priorities. You will find where in your life you need to move on.

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THE MOON:  If you look around the room, you will see people and objects that are comforting in their familiarity. Everything is exactly as you expect it to be. You know that if you closed your eyes and opened them, the room would be the same. But have you ever lost the familiar to find, in its place, a world so extraordinary you can’t even grasp it? This is the experience of the Moon. Most often we live in a tiny pocket of normality. We turn our backs on the mysterious universe that waits outside.  From time to time we may sneak a peak with our imagination, or venture out through fantasy or expanded awareness. We can be thrust out there unprepared through drugs, madness or intense experiences such as battle.  The Moon is the light of this realm – the world of shadow and night. In the right circumstances, the Moon inspires and enchants. It holds out the promise that all you imagine can be yours. The Moon guides you to the unknown so you can allow the unusual into your life.  In readings, this card often stands for fears and anxieties that come in the darkest part of the night. Card 18 also stands for illusions. It is easy to lose our way in the moonlight. Be careful not to let deceptions and false ideas lead you astray. Sometimes the Moon is a signal that you are lost and wandering aimlessly. You must find your way back to the path and your clarity of purpose.

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Last night I was driving to Wynfield’s to watch Pam Partridge Jacobs and Russ Kellum perform, thinking I’m not a drinker but I want to support whatever establishment I’m in. It had been a decade since I’d been in a bar, except once last year when a pal mocked me for ordering ginger ale. I didn’t even want that, I only wanted water but tried to be more socially acceptable!  Last night I ordered a $1.00 bottle of water, gave the server a $4 tip for it and we were both happy for hours.

Did a reading for a woman who just moved here last month, no job, no car, no prospects. I told her I saw dollars all around her, not to worry. She just called to update me. She’s been cleaning houses, doing laundry, lawn care and pet sitting for several elderly neighbors. Talk about the mountain coming to Mohammed. I love stories like that.

When people fall into the victim and martyr roles, when ego steps in, their connection is gone. I can see past posts I’ve made from a place of disconnection where I let the drama of others draw me in but I was never a victim, always a volunteer. I always told the exact truth and always left much unsaid. A problem arises when those without the whole story step in and try to defend something someone else has misinformed them about.  Then they get a gang of friends to help spread the mis-info.  Molehill into mountain! Bless the lightworkers, no matter how small their effort. We can use more truth brought to light and where there is truth, there is peace and there is connection.

“In my personal life, I continued on my separate way- not dating, not looking for love, nothing. I had tried it all, and nothing satisfied me like the beloved. Another may come, but I doubted she would come if I went looking. Sometimes I felt lonely, but it was a different kind of lonely. When you have loved as God loves, you no longer yearn for companionship in the same way. You no longer feel isolated when you walk alone. Because you have been penetrated by divinity. Because you have been transformed beyond yourself. Because you walk in shared shoes. Because you always feel the beloved close at heart.” Jeff Brown

It has never really entered your mind to give up every idea you ever had that opposes knowledge. You retain thousands of little scraps of meanness which prevent the Holy One from entering. Light cannot penetrate through the walls you make to block it, and it is forever unwilling to destroy what you have made. No-one can see through a wall, but I can step around it. Watch your minds for the scraps of meanness.  ~ A Course In Miracles

I’m only ever talking to myself, since there is only One of us here.

A lovely light rain is falling. I can hear the ground soaking it up and the bamboo creaking. I love the sound of the rain dripping off the thin tree leaves and softly pounding onto the broad leaves of the bird of paradise and banana plant.  It’s a pre-dawn symphony The Beloved arranged just for me.  It’s been a busy week of phone calls and paperwork, and also connecting with good friends.  Last night, I crashed early and got 7 hours of sleep in a row!  My usual is 3-4 hours twice a day.  This has been a good sleep week, I’m finally back on my own sleep schedule.  Boy, my world changes when I get enough sleep. My mind clears and I can see that everything is manageable. An inbox that seemed overwhelming, upon closer inspection, is not. A stack of calls to be returned go quickly.  Calls coming in are handled immediately. Work gets done.  The To Do List gets crossed off.  I get time for fun and play and, most gloriously, SLEEP! Life is good.  I have no complaints whatsoever.

This is something I read very early on and it helped me understand the emotional body:  “The body and the man are two, and the man’s will is not always what the body wishes. When your body wishes something, stop and think whether you really wish it. For you are God, and you will only what God wills; but you must dig deep down into yourself to find the God within you, and listen to His voice, which is your voice.  Do not mistake your bodies for yourself-neither the physical body, nor the astral, nor the mental. Each one of them will pretend to be the Self, in order to gain what it wants. But you must know them all, and know yourself as their master.    Continue reading →