The 3 people you’ve spent the most time with the past 12 months, do they inspire you and encourage you and make your life easier? Are they just as supportive of your projects as you are of theirs? Do they do what they say they’ll do? Or do they waste your time and upset your schedule and give little if anything back in return? I sat out at the chimenea last night and did a burning bowl ceremony with a friend. Domino has had an active year and needed time away from home and family to unwind and alpha out in front of a soft flame. To forget about everything else for a moment and focus only inwardly on what does he need and what would bring him joy. These are tough questions to ask someone who feels they have a responsibility to support people they’ve allowed to become dependent upon them. He and his wife went through a messy divorce and earlier this year, she moved back in. Now, however, she has unknown health problems, so he’s always driving her around to doctors. If he’s not giving her attention, she complains. His business has taken a nose dive since he’s a sole proprietor and now has to make all his business appointments around her schedule. He quit smoking and drinking last year after the divorce and now, because she’s the same abusive person but now supposedly sick as well, he’s back to smoking and drinking again to handle it. He’s having serious health issues because of it. Her elder sister moved in with them a few months ago, but instead of helping, he’s now catering to two people who are sucking the life out of him. Literally. You are the only one who knows whether you feel nurtured. In general. By anyone. You are the only one who perceives whether those you nurture owe you something in return.
I’ve had the gift the last six months of being the transportation for a friend who’s temporarily without a car. Being self employed, I don’t like my schedule being upset, so we were delighted when his hours coincided with business I could do in that area of town on those days anyway. Synchronicity! We’re also good friends; he helps me with man stuff around the homestead and he encourages me in my work. We have satisfying conversations on topics of mutual interest. To me, that’s a fair trade but we don’t keep score.
Domino on the other hand, feels he’s gotten himself into a situation he sees no relief from. Yet he has the choice of stopping it right now. Sometimes you have to push past the fear of hurting someone’s feelings by letting them know what no longer works for you. That’s why it’s so easy for me to say no. I know the sooner I release anyone from the bondage I feel, the sooner I free them as well.
Who floats your cork? Who makes you feel free and light? Those are the ones I want more of in my life. Decide for 2013 who and what you will allow to stay in your life, because you will be fed by your choice. Make sure it’s a healthy one 🙂