Now I Know Why People Stay In The Trauma Drama Cycle

Recently, a pal and I went through a natural disaster together. While we were good friends before, undergoing a challenge like that together helped us bond in an even deeper way.   In 2004, Hurricanes Frances and Jeanne came through our area. During each one, I was without power for over a week and stayed with a group of friends.  Gas lines, food shortage, we survived mostly during that time with Chinese takeout.  Ok, so it wasn’t a REAL hardship, mostly just an inconvenience for everyone for two weeks, but it bonded us all closely.  I met three of my lightning struck tower copymates while we worked together on their legal cases.  Sitting daily, talking about dashed expectations, broken promises, who’s wronged who, bonding over mutual hope and comfort, looking forward together, seeking justice, redemption. That creates a strong astral glue, a strong emotional bond. You can feel this with people you may not even like and have nothing in common with other than being brought together by disaster.

five_pentaclesThe hurricane times were interesting because it put in perspective what was actual traumatic experience and what was not. My friend Domino at age 40 is beginning to awaken to her higher purpose and she always has some drama going on, one after another. “I just attract it,” she says, “I’m a catalyst.” She’s in a tight knit group.  They don’t always like each other but have formed a bond over the years as a result of overcoming traumatic experiences together. Most of their trauma, though, is the drama of the personality conflicts they have with each other within the group.

hamster wheel manIt happens. You get on a hamster wheel of these actions and reactions, wrapped up in your own astral taffy so to speak, and it’s the same thing over and over again with different people as you bond with whoever runs alongside you on the wheel. Strong emotions plus shared focus is a great bonding agent. Disaster recovery tip 1: Seek comfort and support. That’s when we begin looking around to see who is there with us that we might receive comfort from. Since everyone is looking outside themselves for comfort, though, it’s a vicious cycle. But it’s a cycle that keeps our astral body riled up and entertained feeding the passionate ego.

cats umbrellaWhile my pal and I were holed up together in unfamiliar surroundings waiting for the physical circumstances to change so we could get back to our normal world, it was a feeling of shared focus as we looked forward together to the same result.  I feel closer than ever, more bonded, now that we survived a disaster together. And now I understand why it is some people, like Domino above, are constantly creating drama in their life — so they have something to overcome. The thing about that is, if you get too enamored of overcoming battles, you’re going to keep creating battles to overcome and keep attracting people who do the same.

When I was proud of being able to overcome hardship, I attracted all sorts of hardship to overcome.  Now I’m proud that I’m mindful enough to attract fun and easy circumstances, people and events.  And as usual, nothing had to change but my perception.

How to recover from disasters and other traumatic events
Krishnamurti on the Astral Body, the Emotional Body
Mandatory Evacuation, Hurricane Francis
June 2003 fires destroy acres around me