I’m having a shakti crash after an eventful week. In this context, I define shakti as the life force energy as I experience it within my physical body. When I say a shakti crash, I refer to what I experience as a result of an overload of sensory input. Much of my personal time is spent alone in silence and I am someone who likes a lot of empty space, a lot of room between my molecules. I speak with dozens of people every day and can feel easily overloaded with voicing and listening. I like a lot of thought time after an experience in order to fully grok it. I like a lot of still time in between physical exertion times. I like slow, easy, quiet time spent with friends appreciating The Now. When I don’t get the quiet downtime, like when I choose to instead hang with fun friends doing adventurous things for extended periods of time, afterwards I get what I call a shakti crash.
For me it can come 12-24 hours later, after I’ve slept a little and gotten a few hours of quiet alone time. This morning my shakti crash come on suddenly about 1:00am followed closely by anxiety, all in time for my last phone session. Or maybe because of it. Whatever, it was a vibrational match.
I’m aware when I do readings for people, that much of what I think and feel may be coming from them. When I feel anxiety, I am aware it is always a message, I just don’t always know what it’s a message about, nor who it’s for if it appears in between phone sessions with clients, as it did last night. It was Mother’s Day, a day when a lot of pent up emotion is at play in our part of the world and we all get affected by it on some level via the global mental plane, or the collective unconscious. Until the hour long session was finished, I did my best to detach myself from the physical body that felt anxiety and physical exhaustion, and just do the work the body had scheduled.
Afterwards, I felt suddenly wiped out. I’ve heard others through the years say that doing readings with some people drains them, but I’ve never experienced that. I usually get enlivened by the exchange. But last night I felt wiped out. I jumped into the shower and then did 20 minutes of breathing through my heart to moderate the intense energy flow. It helped and I have been doing it off and on all day as the waves continue to move through me. The anxiety is gone but the heart rate and panting comes back around every 30-45 minutes. I feel arm and leg muscles suddenly all shaky and depleted like I’ve been running and just need to catch my breath. It’s interesting to observe as a watcher. The times in between are getting longer, so I know when I breathe, it helps me integrate whatever is happening. When I meditate, stretch and do yoga, I feel expanded afterward, and more able to contain who I Am.
Who knows, maybe are giving me delayed reactions. Whatever it is, it feels splendid. I’m in an uplifted and fairly euphoric mood but I will be glad once it has moved through me so I can get back to working without interruption.
7:15pm ET update (12 hours later) My energy feels back to normal, I’ve had a few catnaps and done the breathing through the heart chakra every hour. I’ve done yard work outside that made me use my muscles and work up a sweat. I’ve eaten lightly, some sauteed veggies on top of a salad, and drank a lot of water. I haven’t had a spell of panting and palpitation for a couple of hours. Yay, I love that I recover so quickly.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012: I attribute the anxiety of the shakti crash I am experiencing today to a few incidents last week where I was concerned with dear friends in health crises. I let my mind run away with worry and I began believing it. My wake up call was Sunday when a close friend began having classic heart attack symptoms and we called 911. The paramedics arrived just in time they said and he was transported to the emergency room. I followed and hung with him while they did all the poking and prodding and gave him a ride home many hours later. Except for the almost dying part, it was fun once he was stabilized. It was a powerfully bonding adventure to share, and an initiation of sorts. There are no accidents when people come together and mix energy and mix karma with each other. I love it when friends are aware of what’s happening on a conscious and transcendant level and we can discuss what we’re going through.
I spent much time afterward contemplating my part in the co-creation of the day’s events. I did much soul searching and also did Dr. Lew’s Ho’oponopono Hawaiian Healing Process since the premise is: if you are aware of something happening to anyone, you have a part in the creation of it simply by virtue of your awareness of it. It is my experience that is true. So, today is a keep myself breathed up day, to stabilize the shakti as it makes its way ever upward. That’s how I recover, that’s how my molecules settle back into their natural restful pattern.