I wrote at When One Person Wants To Keep Fighting that long time friend Domino wants to keep arguing about something and I wrote her that I’m not into fighting and to call me when she’s over it. After that she wrote another long email about why part of our arguing is “the administration’s fault” and she demanded I acknowledge her being right and apologize in person. I told her that since she is this confrontational via email, I have no interest in being in person with her. Bear in mind this person knows I work about 18 hours a day and have about 3-4 days in between each issue of the magazine to just goof off and do whatever I want. Being a friend, last year I confided to her that I miss having time for a social life to hang around with friends, but that I love my work and feel my work is my mission and that’s why I choose to make it a priority. Even though we just live a few blocks apart, since we reconnected last year after maybe 10-15 years, we’ve only had 3 or 4 visits of 10-15 minutes each in person. So she called me on the carpet for again not meeting her expectations and seeing things her way. Once again she missed the point. Read on and decide for yourself. The point of this post is not to say she’s wrong and look how silly she’s being, the point is that no matter how clearly you think you are communicating with someone, being right to the point and telling them exactly what you are doing and why, not everyone hears what you say. They are too shrink wrapped in their own head trip. I’ve been there myself. Often.
Domino wrote, “… friends discuss disagreements with each other all the time in personal relationships and at the work place etc. That is the most respectful and sincere way to discuss personal situations. Hiding behind a phone or a computer is a cop out and insincere and u should know and agree. Real friends have no problem looking each other in the eye and have a civil respectful discussion to resolve and apologize to each other. Maybe you have become so used to saying anything u feel by e-mail and/or Facebook that u have forgotten about that personal, “from the heart” way to communicate.
You may recall that this was the only way to do it before the computer age. U seem to have no problem discussing anything on FB or via e-mail. Why are u afraid to have a brief civil discussion in person? How did u do that before u and everybody else had a computer? It sounds to me like u have become so used to using a computer for all your communication that u have “lost touch with reality”
How would u function if your computer(s) were suddenly taken away? I think that may be part of the problem, that u are so comfortable behind a computer that u have no fear saying almost anything that maybe u would have second thoughts saying in person. IF any of my real friends or anyone else for that matter requested that I talk with them in person I would have no problem meeting with them and resolving any issue. A computer is not a neccesary way to communicate for most people, but apparently it is for u.
I would like to see u how u could communicate with people without FB, e-mail, or online with a computer. Remember that u used to? It sounds like u have become too comfortable with your computer to “hide behind”. Maybe that’s why u litterally post everything u do on FB and u are on it almost 24-7. I suggest that u take a good look at yourself and ask yourself why u have become so dependent on your computer to communicate with peeps. Many of your friends and “followers” think u are a wise and all knowing “guru” of sorts but would they feel the same if there were not computers and u had to communicate in person or via telephone? Please contact me via telephone so we can actually talk and then have a peaceful, adult conversation and put this behind us.”
###end of Domino’s email
I see what she is saying, but that’s not the case with me. With her, I don’t want to meet in person because she just wants to argue. With everyone else, mine is a time issue since I work alone. I get about 30 emails a day that I have to respond to, open maybe a dozen more a day that are spam, and about 200 emails waiting to be answered that I make my way through as I can. I get a couple dozen calls a day and another dozen go to voice mail. I only get to check voice mail every few days. I work on the phone in the evening doing consultations until often 2:00 and 3:00am and I work on the magazine during the day. I sleep in shifts just to give me more time in a day. I’d love to be in person with everyone and I miss that. But in person I could not meet one on one with 50 people a day.
Facebook is a big part of my social life and much of my business comes from it also. I work during the day at the main computer with the laptop next to me. Each time I reboot or take a break, I turn to the laptop and post what I’m doing on Facebook. Yes I post a lot but I post what I’d like to see others post: what they do in the course of their ordinary day. That’s how I get to know who someone is via what they find of note to post. I mostly like Facebook because it lets me stay in touch with two dozen or more friends and family in and out of town that I wouldn’t otherwise get to connect with every day.
And I don’t say anything in email or on Facebook that I wouldn’t say in person. I’m outspoken. I cut to the chase and don’t mince words. I can get wordy when I try to make something clear, but as you can see above, what I say and what is heard can be two completely different things.
Case in point: Domino thinks we’re fighting because the Obama administration is making us have a difference of opinion. I follow politics enough to know that Obama is the president and that’s about it. I know our physical reality simply reflects the vibrational reality that is what is really in charge of how everything works. So what shows up in the 3-D is of less importance to me than the forces behind the situation. Meaning I don’t depend on who’s in the White House to determine what income I am able to attract. What I attract depends on where I am in consciousness relative to the topic (example).
I blocked Domino from my Facebook wall because she was writing mean spirited criticism about the poor economy and it being Obama’s fault. I would have blocked her whether she was writing mean spirited criticism about anything, the point is don’t plaster your venom on my sunny, happy, fluffy wall. It’s my wall. Write whatever you want on your own.
Domino insists we have to meet in person to discuss it. I told her I have no intention of getting face to face with her when she’s being like this. I do not get around angry people and I do not stay around angry people. I’m not running away from anything, I just don’t vibe there and no good can come of me staying there, except to be drawn into their downward spiral. Doesn’t sound like fun to me.
And yes, I’m sorry, but it IS all about me doing what’s fun in this life. Yep. I define success as having peace of mind. And no one has to suffer consequences of my fun seeking, because I want for me what I want for everyone else. I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes to have my fun.
And I’m not going to let Domino’s pouty emails put a damper on my fun. I’ve already apologized for whatever my part was in our misunderstanding. I have closure and am past it. Three strikes and you’re out. You’re not out of my heart but you are out of my physical life until you can get a grip.