My friend Celeste is having a problem with constipation and hemorhoids. I looked up the metaphysical cause, which said “holding onto past angers and being afraid to let go of them.” Celeste told me, “I don’t know how to release the past hurt and anger. My dad passed when I was 15. Two years later, I got a blood clot in my brain. I was the youngest and the only child left at home. My mom never liked me. At an early age, I just didn’t like her either. I had just run away from home and within a month I got the blood clot. Since I was on mom’s insurance, she was called. I’m glad for that insurance in retrospect, since, I felt strongly about only getting on board with over 80 life insurance, I thought, I would never need it in my youth, silly me. She came and was beyond livid. She felt somehow I purposely developed that blood clot just for the attention. She really never spoke to me again. Not that she spoke to me much, or kindly before that. I honestly don’t know how to get over it all. I have tried several ways. And I seem to keep reliving my childhood…I am in situations I perceive I am “stuck in and unloved. I wish I knew how to release the past hurt and anger.” I shared with Celeste a process that works for me for releasing hurt and overcoming grief. I felt great relief after I did the process for the first time. As time went on and the hurt and grief arose again, I would repeat the process. Here it is for you:
An Effective Process for Releasing Hurt and Overcoming Grief
Get in a meditative state of mind where you can have 30 minutes to yourself. Bring to mind a happy place, a peaceful place. A place where you can detect the presence of God. Can you detect the presence of God there?
Can you invite ____ (the one you have trouble with) into this scene with you, to share in the presence of God?
What emotion do you feel?
What degree of sadness/anger, whatever do you feel when you bring ____ into the scene with you? Where on your body do you feel it? (for me it was heart)
Can you describe what it looks like? (for me it looked like clasped fists, tangled ball of string)
What color is it? (for me it was red, pink)
Would you be willing to give that to God, to let God take that feeling away from you? (for me it was yes)
Do that now. (I imagined God up in the sky and me handing the red tangled ball to Him)
What is that emotion now? (for me it was gone)
What emotion do you feel when you invite ____ into the scene with you now?
I’ve done this process with husbands, with exes, and friends who had passed. Some I felt the hurt and grief released after one session. Some I had to do the process 4-5 times before I felt it leave me.
If the process doesn’t seem to work, it often is because the thought pattern holding it in place began at an earlier place in life. When that happens, I follow the above process with this one:
What else does this occasion bring up for you, remind you of? (if you don’t get an inner response, start going backwards from your age now to 5 years ago, 10 years ago, age 30, age 25, age 20, age 15, age 10 — you do this to prompt yourself to recollect what from those ages might still be lingering. It would be good to write them down as well.)
Ask your internal guidance system if the type of anger or hurt or grief you are feeling began at an earlier place, then deal with it from there.
Robert Burney, M.A. says, “We are attracted to people who feel familiar on an energetic level – which means (until we start clearing our emotional process) people that emotionally / vibrationally feel like our parents did when we were very little kids. At a certain point in my process I realized that if I met a woman who felt like my soul mate, that the chances were pretty huge that she was one more unavailable woman that fit my pattern of being attracted to someone who would reinforce the message that I wasn’t good enough, that I was unlovable. The way to stop reacting out of our inner children is to release the stored emotional energy from our childhoods by doing the grief work that will heal our wounds. The only effective, long term way to clear our emotional process is to grieve the wounds which we suffered as children. Until we start releasing the hurt, sadness, rage, shame, terror – the emotional grief energy – from our childhoods we will keep having dysfunctional relationships.”