Being alone with your thoughts at the end – I dream of… Dennis Rodman?

I  had an all night dream Sunday night about Dennis RodmanEach time I woke up and went back to sleep, I went back into the dream. I joked on Facebook, “Now it will take me all day to shake that off, brrrrr…”  I like Facebook because it’s like walking into a cafe 24/7 and chatting with whatever friends are there taking a break with me.  Instant feedback and discussion whenever I feel like it – neat.  Friends asked about tattooes and shaved heads and what he was wearing and if it was a sex dream. It wasn’t a sex dream, I dunno where it came from, although I did watch Celebrity Rehab and on it thought he acted like a complete ass.  A friend commented “I just read that he was drinking again in South Beach. I hope that he can overcome his inner demons. Sad he thinks he must act the way he does for attention or whatever… it is not his authentic self, that’s for sure… probably doesn’t even know what that is.”   

She hit the nail on the head.   I agree that Rodman is caught up in externals and unable for whatever reason to do enough self reflection to gain insight into who he really is.  It is a hard way to live, with people around all the time. And he freely admits he’s surrounded by people all the time, even at home, and he does it on purpose.  Rodman had a very unhappy childhood.  He experienced a lot of apart-ness from those he wanted to be loved by.  Yes, many people have unhappy childhoods, and we get over it and we get on with it.  It’s not so easy for everyone.

Dr. Drew Pinsky of Celebrity Rehab concluded Rodman may have Asperger syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder. People with it show difficulties in social interaction, along with restricted patterns of behavior and interests.  It differs from other autism spectrum disorders by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development.  And here we just thought he was selfish and self absorbed.

If I think about it, I could name people who exhibit the same symptoms, and I’m sure you could as well.  I believe it has more to do with the fact of keeping one’s attention on the surface of life, on that superficial thin layer of ice we all skate upon, and never considering what to do once we plunge below the surface.  And, inevitably, we all take that plunge.

How many people freak out when the tv and internet go down at the same time?  Even worse when it’s the phone, too – like in a hurricane when everything is out and all you can hear is the unrelenting, roaring wind and your own thoughts rushing through your head for 12 hours.  Not everyone can stand being awake and alone in the silence with nothing but their own thoughts. That plunges them below the surface.

I have friends who always keep the tv or music on as background noise.  I like being alone in the silence as often as I canI got that lesson early on as I studied meditation and yoga philosophy after graduating high school. The yogis consider that we’re all searching for happiness and that most people settle for brief and temporary pleasures.   At some stage, we become dissatisfied with temporary pleasures and begin to seek eternal bliss. Nature’s laws are designed that we must evolve, with the initial impetus being pain. When we find that relationships, money or alcohol and drugs do not produce happiness or a sense of purpose, we begin looking more deeply into life.  Yoga waits patiently for you to reach this stage. In the later stages of spiritual evolution, pain is no longer needed to spur us on. Each stage of progress produces such peace and happiness that this entices us to go to a higher level of joy. Instead of pain, reward becomes the primary motivation.

If you don’t meditate or take silent time for inner reflection, you don’t know what I’m talking about. But my point is, if you delay – until you are at the end of your life – getting to know who you are when you are alone with your thoughts, you’ll have a scarier time of it.

Do the contemplation and reflection work NOW when you’re emotionally strong enough to handle easily and quickly whatever comes up. Make peace NOW with anything you haven’t made peace with.  Mark 11:25 says “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”  Oh right, most people forget that part.

Don’t let yourself get to the end of your life before you have all your past misdeeds come back to haunt you.  Don’t wait until you’re sick and fearful and insecure until you give time alone to seek forgiveness and make peace inside your own mind for what perhaps you alone know is there.

After all, who wants to be having dreams of Dennis Rodman in a wedding dress on their deathbed?  I’m glad I had that dream now when I could handle it (smile).

Sweet dreams.
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