Some people need just a word, just a hint, to be inspired to creativity and success.  Others, even when taken by the hand and handed everything they need to succeed, cannot take that final step on their own, or cannot sustain the momentum you put into place for them.  It’s not up to any of us to judge what someone else’s next step is.  Sometimes we need to remain in the pretending and practicing part of the process for a long time.  It’s not up to any of us to judge when anyone else is ready. Making it easy for them is not making it easy on them. Making them do their own work to figure out what they want and how to go about getting it is what will bring them satisfaction and self respect. Inspire when you can, advise when asked, but don’t do it for them.

A friend gave me an excellent insight today. In response to the question “how do you deal with passive aggressive behavior?” one friend said they’d simply walk away from it.  Using myself as an example, I said I know when I was acting in passive aggressive ways, I did not know I was. I appreciated when friends pointed out my unconscious behavior. Had they simply walked away, I’d not have known what I was doing. Soul brother Frank Maiello wrote, “I think it’s a much more complicated issue sometimes, due to an individual being incapable of expressing their real feelings.  This is a tough psychological dynamic, in many ways. I find myself doing it in response to someone who is otherwise a genuinely decent person, and perhaps they can’t be open enough because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” I have several friends who talk about the importance of expressing their feelings in open communication yet when it comes to themselves, they cannot do it. I never knew why. Last summer I had a glimpse when a friend agonized over suggesting I shower and use deodorant after sweating like a pig in the garden.  Imagine that. Being a natural gal, I didn’t think anything about it. Two weeks later, they told me they found it offensive but didn’t know how to tell me. They didn’t want to be rude.  Since no one ever told me I smelled funky before, I had no idea. I thought it more rude to let me offend everyone else for two weeks while we went places together until they finally hemmed and hawwed and told me.  I do not understand why grown adults can’t say what’s on their mind. A friend said he stayed with his ex after the love had gone because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She’d been ready to be free for a year but didn’t want to hurt his.  They not only wasted each others’ time, pent up emotions dissolved the friendship in one angry outburst. My policy is to mention something the first time I notice it. First I decide if it’s worth mentioning.  I pick my battles but if something truly bothers me, I mention it. To not do so means I’ve woefully underestimated my audience.
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I worked with a good friend years ago. I’d known her a dozen years. I thought I knew who she was. I thought she knew who I was. Someone had a disagreement with me, and my friend offered to lie to protect me. I know she felt she was being loyal, but I knew I could never trust her again.

Before studying herbal medicine, I did not realize what powerful healing medicine brewed tea could be.  I learned there were different herbs that could be brewed into teas and tinctures that could allieviate a variety of ills.  There were Anti-inflammatory herbs, Adaptogenic herbs, Anti-viral herbs, Anti-rheumatic herbs, Diuretic herbs, Nutritive herbs. Here is a helpful list of what is available.

Alterative herbs (Milk Thistle, Nettle, Dandelion, Licorice and Pau d’Arco) help to remove toxic substances from the body.

Anti-inflammatory herbs work like cortico-steroids reducing pain and inflammation. (Wild Yam or Licorice) These contain natural hormones and saponins stimulating aldosterone and cortisone helping the body to hold on to its own prednisone and cortisone enhancing their effectiveness as opposed to long-term use of cortisone-like drugs that cause adrenal atrophy and the suppression of the body’s defense system, weight gain, edema, osteoporosis, depression and sleep disturbances.   Continue reading →

We’re human.  It’s easy to let ourselves get caught up in the astral body tug of war. Have fun in it but remind yourself of what’s real. You know better than to keep playing the victim, on any level. You know that telling that sad story doesn’t help you, it does not matter if it’s true. Stop giving it any power. That’s not who you are anymore, until you recreate it anew each day. Feeling misunderstood, not supported, the same old same old happening all over again? Stop making decisions that give you those results.  Step out of the vibe of the people there with you. Stop pretending you don’t know who you are. Take off the mask of Oh-this-is-who-they-like-the-best-so-this-is-who-I’ll-pretend-to-be. Cut the pretense, clear up the back story, move forward with integrity no matter who around you is doing otherwise. You’ll be placed near those who vibe where you want to be. Take it slowly, don’t let it burn you up this time around.  Don’t give your power over to anyone. Remind yourself that no matter what comes up, you always get thru it. Continue reading →

“The planet Jupiter will shine brightly next to the full moon at midnight. Full moon in Cancer, emotions, sentimentality at an all time high. Stay mindful, don’t take anything personally, give everyone a wide berth and lotsa slack. Then you have zero to regret when the mood passes. I burn what I am ready to release, every 28 days at full moon –> the ritual here. I’ve learned the power of ritual to keep my egoself focused so my soulself can rise within me.”  Even though moonrise was at 6:30pm, it takes about 2 hours for it to make it over my east treeline.  At midnight, the sky still had a deep cloud cover.  I’d gone out to my firepit about 11:00pm.  It’s something I do each full moon, however I’d already done my ritual at Monday’s fire session.  The only thing left to release was a little guilt. Continue reading →

There is nothing like the peace felt when everything falls into place, everything like a well choreographed dance, one movement falling easily into the next. Thank you Whoever or Whatever is out there that gave me this Life and this Love.

A friend asked, “How do folks deal when you encounter passive aggressive behavior? I find it incredibly difficult to deal with.“ Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, sarcasm, saying one thing while meaning another, shifting blame, hostile jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate, repeated failure to accomplish tasks for which one is responsible.  I used to very much be guilty of saying one thing while meaning another, and of postponing saying No.  I responded, “Speaking from experience, that is my own behavior when I forget who I am and go unconscious. When I recognized that, I stopped being triggered when others did it. I realized they are ignorant and not worth the time. The kindest thing to do is to call them on it. I tell friends to do that to me. Some do. Most won’t. I can’t stop unless you call me on my stuff. You’ll learn to do it gracefully, with practice.  People want to be authentic and genuine and open but are afraid and insecure of what others might think. Help them be authentic. They’ll either be eternally grateful or they’ll shoot the messenger.”

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When you are feeling all pouty and your partner is not giving you any love, that is just because you are not a vibrational match right then. And trust me, you do not want a partner who is a vibrational match to a pouty puss.   I see it happens mostly when one tries to make the partner be everything: the mate, the best friend, the counselor, the fixer, the entertainment director. This is why I have a variety of friends, so I don’t lay the heavy stuff on any one person, and everyone gets to be responsible for their own happiness.

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I wrote on Facebook yesterday, “Good grief, a mysterious low Low LOW flying helicopter just passed directly overhead and it sounded close enough to touch my treetops! It was heading west, a big chinook kinda copter.”  A friend shared a hilarious story:
“Years ago, I was traveling and making my way down to Key West … a good friend had a place on Deer Key and I had an open invitation to stay on his place when I was in the area … so I called him up, only to find out that he is away on business, but he gave me the code to his gate and told me to enjoy myself … sweetness, as my friend’s estate was quite large and private … and I’m always down with camping in the Keys … Continue reading →