The final straw?

Some think it’s a shame when a family splits and some also know it’s often for the better.  The shame is when a good person has to leave a situation with a psychologically unbalanced and physically, emotionally abusive spouse who goes out of their way to make their partner’s life hell.  In Domino’s case, the shame is when there’s a child involved who knows nothing of her mother’s actions, threats and behavior, nor the secret drug use tied to it.  The shame is when the father doesn’t have the time and money to get everyone into counselling and instead does his best to make family life seem normal to the child until she’s old enough to be on her own.  

The shame is seeing the pattern clearly present in wife’s mother, who is ever present.  The shame is Domino having to be gone for days at a time breaking his back to provide for an ungrateful family who never thinks anything he does is good enough. The shame is the wife refusing the entire term of the marriage to pitch in with emotional and financial support, even after Domino became disabled.  The shame is the mean and hateful untruths told in his absence, so his daughter grows up not knowing who he is, other than the coward who left, and the money tree.

The shame is when the money tree dries up and she ignores him until he sends her his last dollar.  A glimmer of hope appears when she begins regular contact, explaining she understands the situation, is ready to be free of the abuse herself and wants their old times back.  The shame is when that turns into more requests for money when there is none to give.  He agonizes the week before Father’s Day as he has nothing to send her, even when questioned, “Why should you send her something on father’s day? She’ll call, she’ll text, you’ll get a card.” The final straw is when on Father’s Day she makes a hateful public Facebook post to let him know she’s done with him for good, citing reasons that were simply fabricated lies told to her the past year they have been apart.

The blessing is him knowing that he is not who she thinks he is.  The blessing is knowing that she is an adult and that when she chooses to leave her current home environment, she can begin to have thoughts of her own and come to her own decisions.  The blessing is Domino knowing all things happen for a reason and that we stand daily in the midst of God’s will.

Karma – what goes around, comes around

Sunday I wrote Father Day and he can’t see his kids and a friend replied, “I feel sorry for everyone in that situation. Karma is a bitch.”  Karma is also a blessing, of course. Domino’s blessing is knowing that his daughter will be back in his life as her deprogramming drops in the course of her life as an adult.

The best is yet to be.

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