I need to take New Kitty to be put down.  I can tell he is a very old kitty and he requires a lot of attention.  When I am just sitting, he wants to sit all over me and when I am sleeping he is walking on me and getting his face right in my face.  Then he does the patty paw thing and slobbers. He eats ok, he knows to go out by himself and to come back in, the cats are tolerating him, he sleeps most of the time on the chair in the living room.  He sneezes which makes me think he may have a respiratory bug that I don’t want anyone else to catch.  Mostly though he is a many-times-daily-reminder of Danny Gaude, a longtime friend I’ve known since I was a kid, who passed May 19th.  He was the closest thing to a brother I had until my own brother reappeared suddenly after 37 years in 2003.  I feel the loss acutely and the cat is a reminder.  I have asked several friends if they would like him, but each wants a younger cat to grow up with, and I don’t blame them.   I am conflicted and my heart is heavy.

I spent all day sleeping, yesterday when I came home also, I feel very drained but realize that may be a grief reaction.  I can’t believe how upset I got at Curt Williamson’s memorial, poor Fred Goodnight and Deb Abrams sitting on either side of me, my eyes and nose would not stop running the entire time.  I went right home and to sleep.

I have had very little time to play with the Wacom writing pad.  Apparently the magic is in the software.  Sharon George, who has done the past few covers,  told me: “I use an older Wacom tablet – an Intuos…which I keep turned down as much as possible, keep as “firm” as possible. I use mostly the airbrush tools in Painter 9.5. It takes some practice; but it’s SO worth it! I can now draw freehand on my tablet; not as well as with pencil and paper…but I’m drawing. Just spend as much time as you can, sneak a few minutes here and there and you’ll get it working for you as you wished.”  I haven’t had time to practice with it, I have been busy as heck, but just this week acquired a really neat little wire rolling cart and set the laptop up in my living roomagain.  In fact I just now carried the tablet out there , so I will have it there during my leisure time.

I had an odd dream last night, I was visiting the UU church in Melbourne and then it turned into some big giant version of it with a huge congregation and the pastor was some famous someone named Russel something (really the name of maybe some local politician, I forget the name now 12 hours later).  I rode over on my bike. I had to remove shoes to go into the church but did so when I came out I was talking to Ray Osborne and learned he was the son of this famous pastor and he never told anyone that.  I was looking for my shoes and couldn’t find them and didn’t want to leave barefoot since I was on my bike.  So I’m looking all over for my New Balance 471’s and not finding them and the next service has started and I’m kind of crawling around the pews trying not to be noticed but wanting to get my shoes and get out of there.   Continue reading →

A friend emailed me about someone she believes is doing magic against someone she knows. I replied: “Remember when you dispel the energy, it only comes up again if you talk about it or keep bringing it to mind.  Whenever you continue to hold a thought like that when it comes to mind, you are giving energy to the situation.  When you talk about it with anyone, you are giving it energy.  If you take it out of your consciousness, and everyone else takes it out of theirs, you are robbing X of the energy she needs to keep anything going.   If I were you, I’d write a nice long note to X and let her know she has no power over you and you wish her only the best, then have a nice burning bowl ceremony for yourself, burn the letter and never mention it again.  When the thought comes up again, and it will, simply think “bless her and move her into the Light where she can continue to grow and prosper.”

It rained pretty hard for awhile today and the land got nice and soaked.  It’s full moon today so I went out and pruned back the arbicola and stuck about a dozen cuttings in the ground behind the Fiorelli’s fence, and some outside my west office window also.  Just like those cuttings can grow into large shrubs if I water and feed them, so can my life blossom into more than it is, with just a little care and thought, and careful pruning when necessary.

I emailed Carl Morgan yesterday and told him I had a flash the Cash 3 would be a 5-8-3 so we both played it and won *yay*

Sitting here at the computer and I saw a figure pass by the west window.  When I looked, it was Curt Williamson and he was leaning on a shovel looking at me as if waiting for me to look up, then he smiled and waved and walked down the path past the firepit and into the woods and his dog Nickie was right behind him. Note, Curt passed at 1:58pm his sister told me

2;30pm Beth just called and told me Curt passed. Nickie was put down Monday

I got my $600 IRS stimulus check today . I worked a lot today and also made a seafood soup using scallops and orange roughey filets I had in my freezer, plus diced tomatoes and nonfat beef broth and chopped veggies.  It was real good. I think I’ll put an ad to do the will and power of attorney documents in the magazine since I’m doing so many of them right now.   I wish this mag was going faster.  Maybe if I stop making soup and watering the yard it will.   I missed almost the entire BMSE expo, am now rushing to get the July mag finished, I’ve spent since Wed at the hosp most of each day and now having to cram it all in and get done before Friday  .

I am in a new place with my mom and dad and it is apparently their new home.   We all appear about my age but they are my parents. I have a blanket wrapped around me and its big enough to cover me. I feel my father has somehow caused me into being there before I have time to dress and pack. I ask for some clothes to wear and we begin going from room to room looking for a dresser that has clothes in it. Although I would fit better in my father’s clothes, I am going thru the rooms with my mother and trying on a dress of hers, it’s too small but I can fit into it, especially when I find I now have striped pj pants on. I am barefoot because I feel the diff in the floor from room to room. Then I learn they only go into certain rooms of the house, because they are renting rooms from the owner, who also lives in the house. He is oriental. They show me a small bay window sized place in the one wall by the hallway that one of them tells me can be a second bedroom. I think that’ s not right since it’s so small. I again have the blanket wrapped around me and am looking for clothes.  Continue reading →

Went to the hospital to visit Curt and synchronistically almost the entire prayer team was there at one time, Margaret, Beth, Sally, Kim, me, and Curt was awake and lucid.  We got all paperwork done, also synchronistically the social worker who went over the hospice situation is a Horizons subscriber.  The Universe at work.  It will all turn out fine in the end; and if not, well it’s not the end.  The numbers 1, 9, 6 keep appearing this week. I don’t know why, I emailed Carl Morgan I was going to play them.   Later: 9-6-1 came in tonight