You’re hurt, disbelieving, and angry. At first, you loved the way your borderline and/or narcissistic partner hung on your every word, looked at you with admiring eyes and filled that empty void within you. Their insecurity and neediness inspired your determination to be that one special person who was going to fix them for good. You felt exceptional, heroic, and valuable. Now you feel tortured and empty.  As this person’s savior, you tolerated behavior beyond what is acceptable. You’ve were certain that your partner depended on you and they would never leave. However challenging, you were committed to seeing this relationship through. But now you just can’t. Or maybe your partner left you. Or who knows, because you’ve broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count.  Continue reading →

Iyanla Vanzant  said “until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them. The moment we have a negative experience we get stuck in what was done and how it was done to us. We must learn not to take life so personally. People are not really out to get us. Let us learn to give up anger and fear by replacing those things with love.”
Not everyone has the strength to open their wounds and make peace with their past. Arrogance is usually false bravado disguising insecurity. First striving to please, they mock when the road gets bumpy, they hold grudges and burn bridges. Prayers on smoke and wind that they find strength and understanding that eases their pain.

This Table of Exercises Shows You How to Get Fit Without Any Equipment using your body weight only. Very inspiring.

A Christian friend doesn’t understand how forgiving someone can help free him. I’d said “The moment you can truly forgive (Matthew 5:44 Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you) is the moment the doors will open and you’ll be set free.” I say it works because no one can weave with you a bond of hatred if you contribute no strands to the weaving. Let it ALL go and your cork will bob to the surface in a heartbeat.

Hawaiian Forgiveness Ho’oponopono Process 

A friend asked today, “didn’t Buddha say there’s no such thing as karma?” I told him, to me, this is karma: I pick this penny up off the desk and let go of it. It falls. Cause and effect. I do one thing, a consequence naturally follows. The penny didn’t fall because it was bad. It fell because Z happens when you do XY.

I just bought a new keyboard, I like a white one with a firm touch and they’re not always easy to find. I took my old one out – it’s washable – and hosed it off in the yard. I was both disgusted and saddened at seeing all the grey kitty hair from my Izzy who passed this time last year. I may need a better system for keeping my keyboard clean.

I just updated my blog.  I copy and paste my blog posts into a Word document to have easy reference later. When I don’t do it for a few months, it can be an interesting trip down memory lane.

I’ve learned that every time I think I have a message I need to tell someone, that message is for me. You, too.  Wait, I can’t say that. If I think it’s for you, it’s for me. If you think it’s for me, it’s for you. If either of us are thinking there is a “you” and a “me” that are not one and the same, we are hilariously mistaken. Always, I ask, “What is my lesson in this? If this is for me, please show me how it applies. If I feel offended or in any way triggered, I know I have emotional work to do.  Please open my eyes, guide me to that work and give me strength to accomplish that work.” That’s a variation on the prayer I said for years, “Guide me to do your will and give me strength to bear your will.”  The words of my prayers change as I awaken to an ever-deepening understanding of the nature of God. The deeper my understanding, the more I realize there is zero separation between any of us, and the quicker I rebound from feeling offended.  It’s a process. It still happens. I think I have a message for someone and it turns out that message is for me.  Thankfully I am quicker to recognize it than I used to be. Did you think this message was for you?

Awakening from a long night’s sleep can feel like being in a drunken stupor.  I awoke at 4:00 am wondering, “What did I do last night???” I’d worked Saturday long into the night finishing the March magazine. Sunday morning we went to the Lightworkers’ Circle at Aquarian Dreams, then afterward for an adventure on the beach and lunch overlooking the water.  Oh, right, it’s coming to me now, the giant baked potato as big as my head.  We came home, I finished the magazine and sent it in to the printer, then about 6:00 pm it was nap time. Which for me turned into a long winter’s nap of 10 hours.   Continue reading →

For some reason, this two year old post –> When do you help others and when do you help yourself is getting lots of views this week. When I hit 40, guidance began flooding out of me and I wrote almost 24/7.  When I read now what I wrote 10, 15, 20 years ago, it is always relevant to something in my life that I failed to see at the time it was written. At 40, I thought I understood.  At 60, I realize I’m just beginning to scratch the surface.  It’s like when I had a vegetarian boyfriend a dozen years before “healthy eating” really sunk in for me and I changed my own eating habits. I “learned” the information in 1992, but didn’t “grok” the information until 2004. Like the volumes of spiritual books that I read early on and highlighted here and underlined there, only to read years later and wonder why  I highlighted the least insightful parts?  It does not matter, it can be right in front of us and be handed to us on a platter, but if we are not in the right state of consciousness to receive it, it will not be ours for long. Things will come to us throughout our life, and we determine what stays and what slips away. Just like any thought that we have, we may not be able to control what pops into our head, but we can control what thoughts we allow to linger and develop.  And for how long. Continue reading →