A friend had anxiety in anticipation of her divorce. It took 2 years but they reached an amicable settlement in a 40+ year marriage. He’d moved on to someone new. She didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with her, but she felt heartbroken and anxious about the future. She’d never had another partner, ever. She knew she’d be fine, she was in several support groups, but she wanted help dealing with her feelings of brokenness and anxiety about the future.  I reminded her that as soon as the final hearing was over, that was by no means the end to their relationship. They had three children together. They would know each other the rest of their lives. It wouldn’t always feel like this.  I reminded her after the hearing was over, her mind and body would let go of a lot of unconscious stress and resistance.  She’d begin forming a new outlook on her life, with new expectations and new perceptions. She’d begin to have a much broader view of her life than before.   Sure, she’d still have to process her emotional pain and go through the stages of grief, but in the meantime she could do some exercises to rewire her emotional brain – her limbic system.  She’d feel the same heartbreak and anxiety until she began consciously exercising new thoughts to pave over her old neural pathways. A neural pathway is a connection between parts of the brain, forged by thoughts and sustained by repeated memories.    Continue reading →

I have shell ginger (Alpinia zerumbet) in my yard. It began on a sunny side of a fence and quickly migrated under the fence to really begin growing and blooming in the high, dappled shape. My shell ginger has no fragrance that I can detect, the flowers nor the leaves. I’ve reaed online that the rhizome is not edible but the leaves are used in folk medicines and the dried leaves and stems can be crumbled to make potpourri. Also known as light galanga, pink porcelain lily, shell flower, shell ginger, variegated ginger, butterfly ginger, yàn shanjiang in Chinese, getto in Japanese, and Sannin in the local dialect of Okinawa, the leaves and the extracted oils of the plant have long been used in Asia to relieve fevers and malaria, as well as to serve as a general health tonic. It is also used in South and Central America as a diuretic, antihypertensive, and antiulcerogenic. Now, modern research has confirmed hypotensive and antioxidant activity in the leaves and rhizomes and extracts of the plant.  From http://naturalsociety.com/alpinia-zerumbet-shell-ginger-medicinal-plant/#ixzz3fJN0gEyc

The feeling we call “happiness” comes from four special brain chemicals: dopamine, endorphin, oxytocin and serotonin. These “happy chemicals” spurt when your brain sees something good for your survival. Then they turn off, so they’re ready to spurt again when something good crosses your path.   Each happy chemical triggers a different good feeling. Dopamine produces the joy of finding what you seek– the “Eureka! I got it!” feeling. Endorphin produces the oblivion that masks pain– often called “euphoria.” Oxytocin produces the feeling of being safe with others– now called “bonding.” And serotonin produces the feeling of being respected by others–“pride.”   Continue reading →

“The Ultimate Thigh Exercise — Standing, walk your feet out wider than your hips. Turn your toes out slightly, bend your knees and imagine you’re sliding your back against a wall (no hinging back like a regular squat). Aim to have your thighs parallel to the floor. Reach both arms in front of the body and begin to pulse your legs up and down an inch for 30 seconds. Now, reach arms overhead and continue pulsing for another 30 seconds. Finally, hold at the deepest point of your plie squat and begin to lift and lower both heels at the same time for 30 seconds. Repeat this series three times—embrace the burn (and shakes)!”  From 3 Things Your Fitness Instructor Is Secretly Thinking During Class

I noticed my Samsung Galaxy S5 phone wasn’t letting me type the words “child porn” in response to a friend’s FB post and I had to enter it by hand several times. It made me question how relevant my comment was if it took so long to put it on. Here’s how to disable that mofo. How to Swear on Android (And Disable Blocking Offensive Words)

As I ran errands today, I stopped by the post office to buy stamps.  I saw the line all the way to the door. Since I didn’t need stamps for today, I walked out and drove away. There was a lot of confusion in the parking lot, several cars trying to get to the drop off box outside that someone was parked in front of, unaware he was holding up traffic. At the very moment I drove away, I saw a very young woman crossing Malabar Road carrying many plastic bags that seemed very heavy. She was about 5 foot tall maybe 100 pounds. She had a new sponge mop over her shoulder.  I felt for her, it was hot outside. I had to wait at the light, then I turned around and drove back to offer her a ride. She lived in the apartments behind the post office. When I helped her carry her packages in, they were very heavy. She’d just moved in and so she had to buy … everything!  She was glad for a ride. I was glad to have the synchronicity of the events right beforehand delay me so that I saw her and was able to help an angel out of the heat!

A few weeks ago I bought a table with built in lamp from a friend at a garage sale, similar to this one. It was very rickety and it wasn’t until last night that I had a chance to check it out. All I had to do was tighten 10 screws and it’s good as new.  The man who carried it to the car for me held it very gingerly and said nothing when he placed it in the trunk.  I didn’t know how rickety it was but hey, she only asked $5 for it and the lightbulb was worth $2.  Anyway, once I cleaned it up and checked it out, all it needed was the screws tightened and 6 drops of super glue. Had she done that, she could have asked $20 for it and i’d have been glad to pay it 🙂

Yes Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian was smart not to marry you. She’d be fighting to keep her $$ if she had. I believe in prenuptial agreements if you have to marry, plus wait five + years to know your partner. I’m not cynical, I’ve seen too many marry with an agenda. How long do you think you should know someone before marrying? I say five years. I also say don’t live together or mingle dollars, whether you marry or not.  Also know what your partner has in the past so there are no surprises like the wife and child he never told you about, that he just up and left one day. Take time to get to know who you’re marrying and what you’re getting yourself into.

I got this post card in the mail last month, I have no idea who it’s from. Help?

It’s interesting to see so many FB friends who now do life coaching, advertising their services to other people who all do the same thing. Your market is not the people who already aren’t buying your services, your market is someone who does not know about it.  On the self-help scene, it’s a common error to try to teach to the same group you learned with. Take what you’ve learned to people who don’t know about it, open their eyes. Don’t keep trying to sell to the same group that hasn’t gotten it the past 20 years. Discover who’s asking for what you have to offer.