Author Archives: Andrea

A friend’s girlfriend has blocked me on Facebook

I wrote earlier about how instead of blocking someone, let me overcome my desire to block them.   A good friend, a platonic spiritual brother, has a non-local girlfriend who  friended me on Facebook this year.  Shortly after I wrote My two cents about working toward being together, she blocked me.   In essence, I said (relative to her) “If the two of you have made an agreement about when to be together, work toward it.   Whoever is not working toward it has a different agenda. ”  Am I irked that she blocked me?   Obviously since I’m writing this.  And yes, it’s none of my business, no matter how much I want to protect a pal.  But is my ego disappointed that she won’t see the sometimes snarky comments I make on her man’s wall?  Or am I just insensitive that, for whatever reason, her seeing my name and my comments do not give her a good feeling and she doesn’t want to deal with it right now?  That’s when I block someone, so why not her, too? And me, are my snarky comments more designed to encourage her to come join  her beloved?  Or to make her feel insecure by being openly flirtatious about him?  Forget her agenda, what’s my agenda? I either want for my friends what they want for themselves, or I don’t.   Boy, have I got some work to do on myself. In the meantime, let me see if I can just shut up now.

Instead of blocking someone, let me overcome my desire to block them

I unfriended someone on Facebook a month ago because she was really unfair to a good buddy when divorce time came.  Now she makes comments on my Public posts and I thought well, I’ll just block her.   Then I thought, why bother?   Let me instead learn to see her name and her words without being triggered or thinking she should do anything to please me.  Let me use my aggravation to practice not being attached to what she does or did or did not do.

In case you think mowing the lawn topless is a cute idea

A friend made a joke on Facebook about being topless in their yard and after years of working for criminal defense attorneys and seeing some serious sentencing for what often amounted to merely intoxication and public urination, I have a BIG GIANT caveat.  In case anyone thinks that idea sounds cute and fun, public nudity = a criminal charge of indecent exposure for which you’ll be placed on a sexual offender list, have to register as a sex offender twice a year forever, be restricted to curfew, undergo regular drug/alcohol screening, you can’t own a computer with internet access, your home will be subjected to random searches for sexual related info, no visiting topless clubs or hanging where kids hang, you have to disclose the name of your sexual partners and disclose to them your offender status, and more.  Check the laws in your state for how it will affect your employment, etc.  Yeah, not such a cute idea anymore, huh?  Live and learn.

It’s cool when you wake up to who you really are

Interesting how you can go your whole life and have people treat you one way and you think that is how life is and that is who you are and then suddenly you wake up to how life can really be and who you really are, and it’s so much better than you ever dreamed of?

The Awakening by Sonny Carroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it.  When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new prospective.  This is your AWAKENING!  You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. Continue reading →

The lighthouse never sleeps

My real life, longtime friend and spiritual brother Frank Lorie is a bright shining example of how someone can live with decades-long chronic pain and keep an uplifted and positive outlook on life.  He wrote on Facebook today:  “It’s 4:00 in the morning and it may as well be 5:00 in the afternoon.  Sleep is not to be again this day, but maybe I will get in a nap later.  Back a few years ago the loss of sleep had a greater effect on me, but I have since come to deal without it much better.  Pain sucks… it is debilitating and can bring out some pretty negative feelings.  It also can make one appreciate many things to a far greater extent.  There is a positive way to look at just about everything  : )

I commented, “Frankie, the Universe had to find some way to keep you awake so the rest of us have a lighthouse that’s constantly on 🙂  He knows you’re fit for the challenge.  I love you so much I could squeeze the stuffin outa you, my brother (hug) Thanks for being the light that’s always on.  You can sleep when you’re dead.

Daily exercises to be more patient, more tolerant, more joyous

Ever wish you were more patient, more tolerant, more joyous?   Wish you could become peacefully serene just by wishing it so?   With a little practice, you can consciously invoke any quality you wish to acquire.   During daily meditation, take a few extra minutes for the following:  Imagine yourself in a peaceful, serene setting, being very relaxed.  Breathe in the relaxation and serenity and feel it all through your mind and body. Then imagine yourself in a stressful situation, one which calls for you to act with patience, tolerance and understanding:  i.e., with a bad driver, an angry child, a frustrating boss. Imagine yourself acting appropriately and displaying the desired qualities. Place yourself in another stressful situation, one that is likely to come up during the day; envision yourself acting appropriately and again displaying the desired qualities.  Take note of how you feel during the exercise.  As you continue this daily meditation, you are preconditioning yourself for appropriate action, so that when a stressful situation occurs, your response will be automatic.  This exercise can be used to invoke any quality you may wish to acquire.  Remember to give thanks for the opportunity to learn a new quality. Continue reading →

Monday’s uncluttering

I spent the entire day yesterday uncluttering.  Here’s what I put on Facebook:
What am I going to be for Halloween? Clutter free! I just cleaned out the linen closet. I should have taken all these pillows to the Melbourne Free Market when I went Sunday.  Aaaarrrgh!  The linen closet would be much more empty if I didn’t use it to store all my “sheets to cover all the plants in case it freezes.”  Note to self: stop buying light bulbs and batteries. Now.  I need to find somewhere else for the tall filing cabinet to go so I can get it out of the back office. If I took down my dining room cabinets and reinstalled them 2” higher I would have lots of options.  Hmmm, I just went thru the cabinet and I can probably 86 about half the files, yikes, shredder here I come.  I’m thinking I don’t need the film – yes film – from the 90’s Horizons Mag covers, Nor the hard copy files of the writers and speakers from way back then. Continue reading →