An update with the .25mg xanax I’ve been taking for anxiety this week. I take less than 1.25mg every other day. The moth at my front door the past 10 days is a brilliant iridescent glowing green, gold and amber. With the xanax, it’s a plain brown moth. This is the kind of dumbing down of the senses I don’t like about prescription meds. Don’t get me wrong, it kicks the temporary anxiety, but I don’t want to live in a world this small and dull all the time. Continue reading
Author Archives: Andrea
One purpose of a spiritual practice is to excavate your false gods
A spiritual life is not about finding ways to feel good. It’s not about how to get guidance on how to stay safe in this world. A spiritual life means that you excavate your false gods, fears, and illusions that hold you prisoner in this world. You face these false powers and free yourself from them. Facing personal myths and purging yourself of addictions or manipulative habits require strength, courage, humility, faith and other qualities of a soul with stamina, because you are not just changing yourself, you’re changing the Universe. Your soul is a compass. Change one coordinate in your spiritual compass and you change your entire life’s direction. Caroline Myss
You have to expect it
God can speak to you from anywhere or anything, in any way, if you expect him to and if look in everything, even perceptions of evil. We deceive ourselves and rob ourselves of heaven on earth if we aren’t pretty much constantly looking for the good and the magic and the unifying. For real. You think my life is easy because I’m lucky? No I just expect that whatever’s going on, I can find my way.
Found your nose
Hey, I found your nose, it was in my business again.
Uncle could use some prayers after full moon stent surgery
Synchronicity! I couldn’t stand it any longer and called my bratty Cousin to see how Uncle is doing after his stent surgery. They were rolling him into the room right as I called. Perfect that it is heart chakra time 3:43 (4th chakra, 3 above, 3 below) — there are no accidents! Earlier today, I posted on Facebook “Shouting out for some prayers for Uncle Jimmy, having another stent put in today, after two last month. If you grew up smoking, eating bacon and fried chicken — please — for your loved ones, cut that sh*t out. Really. They are cutting open someone I love today because we did not know then what we know now. Please.” Continue reading
.25 Xanax (Alprazolam) update
I wrote two weeks ago that I got relief from my acute anxiety with the .25 Xanax (Alprazolam) I’d been prescribed. I’m not used to meds so I’ve been doing one twice during the day and then 2-3 at night every other night or so while I’m in this stress period. I’m also taking calcium and B vitamins with it. It takes the anxiety away and lets me stay asleep a solid 5 hours the nights I take it rather than the 3-4 hours I’m used to. It also dumbs me down a little, but that may be overstimulation from the stress. I can’t attribute it categorically to the Xanax. It makes me not care whether I eat healthy food or not, it makes me think of sugar and processed foods, things I don’t typically eat. I don’t eat them but it makes me want them. And while I don’t wake up with anxious or worrisome thoughts racing through my head, I also don’t wake up with creative thoughts and motivations for the day as I usually do. Continue reading
End of a long night
The end of a long and active overnight. The good news is it’s nearly dawn and I can finally wind down and nap. As usual, there is no bad news… only many ways to learn to be grateful for lessons I don’t yet understand.
The mulberry tree is bare but the loquats are full on
I now have a nice long scratch on my left forearm from carrying too many palmetto fronds, but it rather balances the ding and bruise on the right shin from yesterday’s wheelbarrow fiasco. I also just watered the back tree line of turk’s cap, crepe myrtle and arborvitae. The mulberry tree is bare but the loquats are coming full on.
A fun adventure in Publix
At Publix in the checkout, I’m in workout gear and so is the woman ahead of me. She’s buying Lean Cuisine meals and I’m buying chicken thighs, a pint of vinegar and a white potato. I remark, “Hey, ima buy what you’re buying if I get to have a body like that. I was going to buy a 3 Musketeers bar until seeing you. Thanks for the inspiration.” We laugh. When her total comes up, the cashier says, “if you buy $1.37 more, you get a $10 gift certificate (for $100 purchase.)” She looks around to see what’s near she can buy for $1.37. I told her “A 3 Musketeers bar is just $1.59.” She said “I’ll buy you one.” I said “Oh no you won’t, buy my vinegar instead.”
I spent Sunday mostly working in the garden
Yesterday I watered the back yard and the back property line of hibiscus saplings and loquat trees, and cut some palm fronds and grapevine. I worked some on the east garden sitting area, it is now hidden from the street. I am weaving weave a wall with the living grapevine around some cut bamboo and pine saplings, also weaving into it some palm fronds and honeysuckle vine. I don’t want something that will topple on me when the wind blows as it does here sometimes. Thus the weaving. I could have done without the wheel barrow falling over on me, I’ll have a nice bruise and cut on the right shin for that one. I’d stacked it atop a wood fence panel to help flatten the panel out and it wasn’t balanced and toppled. Yay for work boots and heavy denim!