The awkward moment when you get a message from someone asking about the relationship status of your mate.   Um, you know those long, late night phone calls  he has with Facebook friends? That’s when he needs to address that.  If he is who he says he is, you shouldn’t have anyone asking you those questions. And if he’s not, exit stage left.  Women are going to talk.  Women will contact each other and ask wuz up to get the real skinny.   Conscious men do not dishonor a woman by failure to disclose when asked.  Personally,  I don’t put relationship status on Facebook since I’m not looking to hook up with anyone.  I could say divorced or widowed and leave it at that, omitting the greater truth with a clean conscious.  However the truth is that until two days after this post, I’d been seeing someone and we shared an emotional involvement the past year.  We’re similar enough that we share good times daily and dissimilar enough that we know we’re not likely to ride off into the sunset together. But we’re together now.  It’s not a topic of conversation with us.  Women ask me about him all the time.  I say he’s the one to ask.  What I think and what he thinks may be two different things.  Our agreement is that as soon as the other has no further desire for emotional involvement, we say it right then and morph back to friendship.  Which is easy to do when everyone is honest and is who they proclaim to be.  Nothing is sexier than a man who’s honest.  Don’t deny attraction with other people, explore whatever you’re led to explore, but don’t deceive in order to interact with anyone.  That dishonors you and them.  You’re bigger than that.  We all are.  Update: Two days after writing this, my relationship ended.

Domino has a friend from out of state visiting two hours away.  She’d love to get together but is scheduled to work each day between now and the end of the year. She’s working extra hours because she’s savings $$ for something she wants in January.  Each day her friend asks her when they are getting together.  Domino won’t tell him she’s working each day, she just says she’ll be disappointed if they don’t get to connect.   She tells me that if it’s meant to be, it will happen.  I kinda think part of that “if it’s meant to be” is letting her friend know her schedule so he can decide whether he can drive to her for morning coffee rather than thinking she’s just blowing him off.  Disappointed is what her friend will be when he learns she knew her schedule when he first asked.  I don’t like to leave people hanging. That’s why it’s always easy for me to say a quick no when it has to be a no.

Good news from tax accountant, I don’t need to make the December IRS payment because my income was cut in half from last year.  Really?  Shouldn’t I be squeaking then? Apparently everything else in my life accomodated and made it all work out because I’m living the same happy life. I haven’t looked at my profit and loss statements for years because I know the numbers don’t mean a thang.  My being happy is what counts. What do the numbers matter if I’m happy and have more than enough either way?

The 3 people you’ve spent the most time with the past 12 months, do they inspire you and encourage you and make your life easier? Are they just as supportive of your projects as you are of theirs?  Do they do what they say they’ll do? Or do they waste your time and upset your schedule and give little if anything back in return? I sat out at the chimenea last night and did a burning bowl ceremony with a friend.  Domino has  had an active year and needed time away from home and family to unwind and alpha out in front of a soft flame.  To forget about everything else for a moment and focus only inwardly on what does he need and what would bring him joy.  These are tough questions to ask someone who feels they have a responsibility to support people they’ve allowed to become dependent upon them.  He and his wife went through a messy divorce and earlier this year, she moved back in.  Now, however, she has unknown health problems, so he’s always driving her around to doctors.  If he’s not giving her attention, she complains. His business has taken a nose dive since he’s a sole proprietor and now has to make all his business appointments around her schedule.  He quit smoking and drinking last year after the divorce and now, because she’s the same abusive person but now supposedly sick as well, he’s back to smoking and drinking again to handle it.  He’s having serious health issues because of it.  Her elder sister moved in with them a few months ago, but instead of helping, he’s now catering to two people who are sucking the life out of him.  Literally.  You are the only one who knows whether you feel nurtured.  In general.  By anyone.  You are the only one who perceives whether those you nurture owe you something in return.  Continue reading →

The heart heals as quickly as we allow it to

Sometimes your heart opens wide for one person and another falls into it.  Sometimes your heart has been broken and the cracks allow in more grief and pain before the healing begins.  Rather than heal our wounds from the inside, we seek an outside balm.  Those in pain attract the wounded. Under the guise of the healer, the wounded offer guidance about what they do not fully understand yet themselves, because that is how they unconsciously work it out with themselves.  Domino spends hours each week offering compassionate relationship advice to potential suitors. In his own life he is in two relationships with women who do not know of each other. Both think they are the primary partner, both complain of his lack of personal communication skills.  Yet they hear him on the phone telling others how to fix the same problem in their life and establishing emotional intimacy with them, while those he professes to love are starving for it. He does not make closure with past mates, who continue to contact him. WTF?  Continue reading →

The heart breaks to make more room for love. Shakes you from the inside to remind you you’re alive. My heart heals with thick, rope-like scars that I use to pull me up the next clearing where I can see the stars.  Singer/Songwriter and so much more Amy Steinberg

Develop your intuition. Encourage your own inner guidance. Make yourself into someone you want to know, someone who fascinates you with your own thoughts and curiosities, someone whose company you really enjoy being in. Bring it forth from within you and you’ll never feel alone again. Ever.