“I start out on this road, call it Love or Emptiness. I only know what’s not here. Resentment seeds, backscratching greed, worrying about outcome, fear of people. When a bird gets free, it does not go back for remnants left on the bottom of the cage. Close by, I’m rain. Far off, a cloud of fire. I seem restless, but I am deeply at ease. Branches tremble. The roots are still. I am a universe in a handful of dirt, whole when totally demolished.  Talk about choices does not apply to me. While intelligence considers options, I Am Somewhere Lost In The Wind. ” Rumi

We all seek to express our truth. We all must express our truth. There are two ways to express your truth:  directly or indirectly. If you do not express your truth directly, it will come out in odd, aberrant, and damaging ways. Self-sabotage or sabotage of others occurs when you don’t speak your truth directly. Honest expression of truth ends sabotage.  When you don’t tell the truth up front, your truth comes out in weird ways that make more trouble for everyone.   We all find the energy to do what we choose. We find no energy to do the things we do not want to do. If we are forced to do things we do not want to do, we will find a way not to do them. Will you express your preference honestly, or will you create veiled situations to get your point across?  You don’t have to get sick to get out of work,  have an affair to get out of a marriage. You can simply, clearly, directly express that you do not wish to do this. You might ruffle some feathers,  yet there is a hidden value in direct communication.  Truth has ways of getting to solutions that sabotage does not.  Alan Cohen

Someone just asked me what I thought about a Facebook post. It was written about a theoretical situation and written in third person, so vague that I had no idea what they were talking about.  A good rule of thumb is write only about your own experience, using “I” statements, not “they” or “you” statements.  Don’t think you know the truth of a situation based on what a third person tells you. For a year and a half I defended a friend based on what he told me.  My mistake.  Lesson learned.  We want to help those we love. We think we’re helping. Been there.  Bless those who feel compelled to do that. Speak only for yourself. Write only about what you yourself have experienced. Use “I” statements. Let the reader put themselves in your place so they can understand your very important point of view.  Help them to let you help them learn from your experience.

Life is such an adventure. Who knew I’d be flirting with the same guy at 61 as I was at 16. Hmmm, 7 = Sevens deal with magical forces. Sevens deal with esoteric, scholarly aspects of magic. Representative of scholarly activities, mystery, and the focused search for esoteric meanings. Seven deals with the activation of imagination and manifesting results in our lives through the use of conscious thought and awareness. Sounds good.  It’s a good sign when they know the exes and they all still pal around long after kids are grown.  A friend reminds me I am also a personality type enneagram 7.  Oh, and the “Love” connection? My pal’s name is “Love.”  Bazinga, gotcha didn’t I?

“When one is in command of one’s own world, one is not easily made a plaything in someone else’s world.” Ven Baxter    I know I am in command when I’m connected to inner guidance, to God. When I feel not in control, the first thing I do is seek connection. Everything else flows from that.

“Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don’t have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.  Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don’t need to suffer with them.  It doesn’t help.  It doesn’t help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us. Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We’re accountable for ourselves. They’re accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow. Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.”   From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie