8 hour sleeping is a modern invention. Imagine you are a denizen of the 18th century. It’s just past 8:30 P.M., you’ve got your night-cap on. You blow out your candles and fall asleep to the smell of the wax and the wick, which gently fills the air around your bed. Some hours pass. 2:30 AM. You awaken, grab your coat, and visit the neighbors because they, too, are up. Doing quiet reading, prayer, or even having sex. Well, apparently before the age of electricity, sleeping twice a night was completely ubiquitous. Back in those times, we slept twice a night, getting up for an hour or two for recreation before heading back to bed until dawn.
Author Archives: Andrea
Go somewhere different, get involved with new people; they will draw new things out of you
Being an atheist is okay, being a Christian is okay
Being an atheist is okay. Being an atheist and shaming religion and spirituality as silly or not real is not okay.
Being a Christian is okay. Being a homophobic, misogynistic, racist, or otherwise hateful person in the name of Christianity is not okay.
Being a reindeer is okay. Bullying and exluding another reindeer because he has a shiny red nose is not okay.
No excuses, no need to lie, simply “I’m unavailable for that”
Never lie to get out of something. If you are uninterested, you can simply say “I’m not available for that, thank you.” It doesn’t matter whether you will be out of town or have an important meeting or just have other priorities that are more fun. Never lie to get out of something. Maybe just never lie.
Maybe a little too much to share on a first date
A friend writes: “About last night’s guy…. He tells me that he’s a traditional guy and that he should never have married another Army officer because she was too independent. Also I get the explanation of why he was on meds after his near death experience, how he became a narcotic addict for a year but stopped cold turkey, and now uses medicinal marijuana. Not sure how he thinks this is going to help him get his security clearance for his new job. Oh yeah, he hasn’t been working since February when he left his last position for a break. And I got his entire conversion story as well as the details of his new church…. Which isn’t here. I’m thinking that some of this should possibly not have been shared on a first date! LOL”
Kudos to him for being brave to tell it upfront instead of her finding out piecemeal in a soul crushing relationship.
I tell you I’m busy then you see me on Facebook – WTF?
Often I tell someone I’m working and then they see me on Facebook and wonder WTF? They’re not being ignored, it’s just that is part of my working process: I have many projects running at the same time and work on each of them every day. I work alone and do the work of 3-4 people. When I have a few minutes free, yet not long enough to take on another task, I sneak onto FB and take a break. If I didn’t take as many breaks as I take, I wouldn’t get as much done. I’m like the Chinese lettuce farmer who grew bitter lettuce yet wrote wonderful poetry. “Why not stop growing your bad lettuce and simply write your beautiful poetry all day long?” he was asked. “That was impossible,” he said, “because if I did not grow such bitter lettuce, I wouldn’t be able to write such sweet poetry.” Continue reading
Don’t ask for patience or peace unless you want many chances to be peaceful under duress
You know, don’t you, that when you pray for some issue to be taken from you, that means you are asking for that issue to come up in front of you over and over, giving you many chances to react to it differently. Patience, for instance, or peace. Ask for patience or peace and see how many aggravating things begin showing up. Each time you react to it differently, it dispels it a little bit more. That’s how that works. Ok, as you were.
Facebook friends help get a family on the road
Driving in snow, here’s their tire with the ice crystals. Bring them home!
It was fun helping out a friend yesterday. This is why I love Facebook. I saw on the news feed, “Today I choose to let go and let god. I do this everyday but sometimes I try to take over thru worry and panick. Today im going to give my worries to god as my.mistakes are seen.and known and learned from along the way. I stand strong in my family bond and do not run wild into the fears that beckon me. I will mountain pose into warrior and back again for as long as it takes. When on the road u will have many oppertunities to release into the divine and surrender the mind. I choose to go out peacefully with faith we will be blessed to move forward.” As a yogi, I well know the metaphor of transitioning from mountain pose to warrior. In mountain, you stand at rest, yet strong and unwavering. In warrior, you confront your own weaknesses. Continue reading
It’s not that he “hides” his feelings, he just doesn’t ponder them
Domino complained her new man wasn’t very open hearted, but knowing them both for years, I know that’s not it. He just has a different way of being than her previous partners. He’s far less cerebral and wouldn’t consider himself a spiritual person. After we spoke, she looked at him in a different way and, although it wasn’t exactly what she wanted, she understood and loved him enough to try the change. I’d told her, “It’s not that he’s hiding his feelings from you by refusing to discuss them. It’s that he doesn’t reflect on his feelings to sort them out as you do. And I’m not being flippant but he does not have deep thoughts. He prefers to spend time in his own interests and not get real involved in personal conversation, with anyone. That’s not how he’s made. Don’t fault him if this is as deep as he goes with you. That doesn’t mean he cares any less. It just means he doesn’t carry the tools for that job, so don’t ask him to do it. Yes, he’s the one you want to talk to about personal matters of the heart, but I suggest you don’t. He does not receive it as you offer it. He just thinks you’re “rambling on again about one of your problems” and waits for you to stop talking so he can get back to what he was doing. Bless him, this is as deep as he goes right now. It’s up to you to decide if that’s deep enough for you.” She’s giving it a try.
Friends who step away when you are in pain don’t know what to do with it any more than you do
The ones who step away from you when you are in pain don’t know what to do with it any more than you do. It’s not that they don’t care, it may just be that they have enough on their plate and aren’t equipped to take anything else on. They may feel it’s too much drama. Whatever it is, don’t punish them. It’s just not their way. Enjoy your other areas of shared interest. When you do, without resenting them for not being compassionate to your pain, you’ll attract someone else to do that, then everyone wins.