I called to wish brother Jerry happy birthday and woke him up about 7am.   I’ve been cooking the last several days so I don’t have to leave work for long, and have been doing a chicken breast each day.  When I buy them, I package them one at a time in baggies.  Then I butterfly them as they thaw, while they are still half frozen, and squirt lemon juice and soy sauce into the baggie with them.  I’ve been this week cooking them this way:  Nonstick pan sprayed with Pam, cook 3-4 sliced garlic cloves and one onion.  Sprinkle both sides of chicken breast with salt, pepper, garlic powder, oregano powder, paprika, thyme, about 1/2 tsp each.  Then a sprinkle of cayenne pepper (I don’t like a lot of cayenne) and this is my basic blackening seasoning.  Then I cook first one side, then the other, a few minutes each side.  Spray pan when turning chicken over to other side.  Then I add about 1/4 cup water to the pan and let it simmer for a few minutes.  Ta dah!

I’ve been working and not much else. I drove out yesterday for the first time in days to eat a pho soup, worked the entire weekend, missed church and meetings, the days are a blur now.  Mag has to be in first thing Monday.  I can do it, I always do.

I need to go to Home Depot and buy a lawnmower (Toro 20065)

I used to have a problem saying no and then I would commit to something and cancel at the last minute and made lots of people mad at me.  I knew I could work on my commitment issues, and do things I promised to do even though I didn’t want to, and while I resented having to face the consequence of my actions.  Or I could just stop committing.  Work on that issue in another lifetime.  Let people get mad at me for being noncommittal rather than for disappointing them.

A dream where there is a tugboat but it’s really a luxury yacht and it is pulling a big giant cruise ship and somehow I know the tugboat represents me and the ship represents people I’ve helped from behind the scenes or just to take them from their safe harbor and guide them into deeper waters.  I feel proud.

I am on top of one building with another next door. Someone else and I have to move between the buildings and use a ladder to bridge the gap. The ladder is not quite tall enough but we make it anyway.

Some premonitions for today, which I’ll check tomorrow to see if got any hits:

1. a flag, stars n stripes Old glory
2. empty cardboard boxes piled up tall
3. child running after red ball
4. mountain in the distance with snow on top
5. 368

Continue reading →

“You don’t want to save the world, you want to serve the emerging paradigm” Rev. Michael Beckwith

I have just been busy working. And shopping for a lawnmower.  I decided I want to do my lawn myself for awhile, I can’t seem to make it to the gym and treadmill since I stay tied to the computer, so doing my own yardwork and housework seems like a healthy habit to get into.  I bought a little Magic Blue vacuum cleaner a few months ago – when my housekeeper told me she had to stop working on her feet and have some foot surgery – and I actually started having fun cleaning my own place. Who knew?  Continue reading →

Well I got 3 out of 5 for $9 on last night’s Fantasy 5.  I’ve been playing the lottery a bit, I used to always get a quick pick, but this time I am picking my numbers for the Fantasy Five and Lotto.  I’ve had some luck with the Monopoly and Lucky 7’s scratch off tickets also.  My rule is I can only use lottery winnings to buy more tickets, or change I have in the car.  So far I am about even. And I’m actively doing visualization about watching them draw the numbers and me checking the numbers on my ticket and seeing they are winners and getting excited about it.  As soon as I wake up in the morning, I think “today’s the day, let me check my numbers and see what I’ve won”.   Continue reading →

Doug and I have moved to a new place, or Doug has and I’m visiting, It belongs to a friend who has not yet moved out, so the house is packed with someone else’s stuff. There is a group over helping to move us in, and I have just my one big suitcase and it’s on my bed in the back room. My bathroom has a small water leak, so there is a little standing water at the base of the toilet but everything works.  It is dusty around the edges of everything and a little dirty, but not bad. There is a lot of furniture and books and papers (writing papers and business mail, not newspapers) in stacks along the halls and walkways. It is like 6am and it is in a neighborhood that has some big trees but the homes are close together like an old school neighborhood. Behind us is s school of sorts, and there is a phys ed class out in the field.   Continue reading →

Staying at someone else’s house with a boyfriend who had a daughter who was there with us also.  Her sleeping “room” was behind some curtains, he got out of bed to check on her.  I thought I should put some clothes on, since we are in someone else’s house, although sleeping.  I get up to use the bathroom and wrap the sheet around me.  I end up walking the halls in a large hotel and have this sheet wrapped around me and think “this is just like the dream the other night, walking the halls of a large hotel in a sheet” and then it turns into like a big hospital kind of gown except it is like a patchwork big dress.  I check it out and see I don’t have to hold it together to keep it closed, so I just start walking around.   I am in the wrong hallway again looking for my boyfriend (it might have been KB) and I’ve brought my phone, except it’s a new phone and I can’t remember his number anyway to call him. Besides of course the 6 is missing. I look out one big window and see we’re near the ocean and we are high up so I can see the colors of the water below.  I still can’t remember his number, I am also carrying what I thought was my wallet and i.d. but turns out to be Daddy’s little NavyCut box. I set the box and phone down while I check my dress again to make sure I’m decent, and a woman starts talking to me and it takes me a moment to find my box and phone again.

The past two weeks, I’ve been re-reading a 1966 Seth book and asking to remember my dreams and then recording my dreams.  I keep a note here at my desk saying: Test yourself consciously and continuously throughout the day: Am I dreaming now? Am I dreaming now? so it becomes natural for you to ask yourself that in your sleep. It takes a while to record the dreams and you don’t have to analyze them right away.  If you – as soon as you wake up – quickly run the dreams back thru your mind, it will lock them into your short term memory long enough to let you get it written down.  Even if I am just jumping up quickly to powder my nose at 5am, I run the dream over in my mind even if I don’t want to write it down until I wake up “for real”.

Susan Krauss

Standing outside a building looking in (really looking down into as if from a high window) and Suzie Miller is kind of writhing around on a small bed like she is having a seizure. Reminds me of what it must have looked like to her when she was in the ER with me that last time before they could give me the pain shot. Susan Krauss who was a social activist in Brevard. (Susan was discovered murdered in her apartment on Wednesday, December 28, 1988. Krauss was last seen the previous evening shopping alone at the Albertson’s grocery store in Indian Harbor Beach. Krauss lived by herself at The Hamptons Apartments located at 3040 South Highway A1A, Melbourne Beach. She was at the time of her death was 54 years of age and extremely involved in community activities. Police report reads, “The body of the victim was discovered inside the apartment. The victim’s apartment was located in south Melbourne Beach, which at the time of the murder, was not heavily populated. The investigation into the murder has revealed that an unidentified person entered or was invited into the residence, after which they killed Mrs. Krause. It was determined that the victim died as the result of having been shot.) Anyway, Susan was suddenly with me at the window. She directs my attention to a man on the sidewalk below, wearing a long dark overcoat and standing near a tree and glancing around. It is a regular city street lined with like oak trees maybe the height of a one or 2 story building. We are up maybe 4 stories. He’s not looking at us. I wonder why Susan is at the window with me and wonder why she isn’t telling me info about her assailant instead. She tells me ”it doesn’t matter any more, he was killed a few years after anyway. Forgive them for they know not that they know not.”

end of dream

RELATED article about Susan Krauss
Another article about Susan Crusader Mixes Meditation 

Continue reading →