I know lots of people from all walks of life, with all kinds of attitudes and personalities. I enjoy them all, but some I choose to spend more time with than others. The ones I choose to spend time with are those that contribute to me living a happy life. Am I being selfish doing that? You bet. After all, when it comes right down to it, it IS all about me and how happy I am in every moment. And I know for a fact that today’s Now moment becomes tomorrow’s lifestyle.
When friends talk about current events, if they are not talking about how hopeful they are and what everyone is doing right, I don’t care to hear the conversation. That’s not sticking my head in the sand, that’s managing what I allow to come into my world. If that sounds silly to you, I don’t mind. I’ve just learned how it works, and I no longer feel the need to convince anyone else of it. I simply go elsewhere and hear the good stuff I know is there waiting to be found. The bottom line is I don’t spend time listening to scenarios about anything I don’t want to become my future experience. Period.
So when friends are having lively discussion, even if just to play devil’s advocate and present the down side of the issue, they have to count me out. Lots of friends say “forewarned is forearmed.” I say if someone keeps mentioning rain, I’d better have my umbrella nearby. Since I’ve given their thought a place in my consciousness, I need to be prepared for what I attract as a result of it. That’s why it’s just easier to not participate in those conversations. It cuts down on the pivoting of thoughts it takes to get back to my better feeling place. Topics like the state of the economy: You can look at everyone who’s doing poorly and all evidence the media gives as to why, or you can look at the abundant evidence that things are improving and focus on that. It’s your choice moment by moment. Word by word. Thought by thought.
When I was newly spiritually seeking, I had to dissect every word and sentence everyone spoke. I wasn’t being skeptical as much as trying to find a vocabulary for what I was learning. I asked people to define words and explain what they meant by them, since often our definitions were often so different. I wanted to know what everyone read, so I could read it and know what they know.
I found that so many people, when asked, did not really know their topic; they were simply repeating phrases they’d heard in the popular media, phrases that activated them emotionally. When asked for further explanation, they simply did not know. They had no independent thoughts or opinions of their own about it. All they had were the words of other people, words that activated them emotionally and made them want to mention it. Early on, I went to a lot of discussion groups and got to know my friends’ opinions and beliefs. I stopped going when it was no longer fun or inspiring for me.
Does that mean that it’s negative to talk about those things and that I’m avoiding someone else’s negative behavior or words? Nope, it just means I choose to focus on things that make me feel happy and hopeful and connected and uplifted. There are so many of those topics out there that I barely have time for anything else anyway.
So, yes, unpopular as it is, it’s true, I don’t want a lively discussion with friends, I want a happy life. Spiritual seeking is not a social endeavor and it can be a lonely path. I’ve learned that nothing is more important, for the benefit of me and those around me, than that I feel good. Nothing is more beneficial for my family, my friends, my clients and advertisers, than that I am happy and feeling prosperous, because that is what I’m spreading to them. Thus it’s my duty to stay happy and do fun things. Because I know it’s not just for me.
If you’ve ever been on an aircraft, you know that before the plane leaves the ground, the flight attendants give a demo of the safety procedures. They tell you that in case of an emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling of the plane for you to put on. Every time, on every airline, in every language, they always say the same thing: You must put your own mask on before assisting your child, or any other person, to put on theirs. They say that every time without fail. It’s because if you try to tend to the other person first and you can’t breathe, you’re not helping anyone. The only way you can help anyone is if you help yourself first.
So, I’ve just learned to put my oxygen mask on first. If I’m happy, I’ve got happy vibes to offer everyone around me. Trust me, if mama is happy, everybody is happy.