I’m going through another layer of realization and personal growth. I said that 20 years ago through a veil of challenge. Yay for being on the other side of that. I know it’s a result of having learned to work on my stuff as it comes up, so that I don’t have to repeat the same lessons. As I dropped baggage at every new realization, it became easier to move forward without struggle until today is nearly a cake walk. I’ll share my lesson below, but first for you astrology buffs, my awakening is reflected in my astrology transits as well. The astrology is below in blue, skip it if it’s of no interest to you and this is a much quicker read.
These transits will apply to each of us at some point in our lives, so it’s helpful to read them now before you experience them. I explain how they show up in my life, what form they take for me, so you can recognize it when it comes for you. From December 2013 through September of 2014, transiting Saturn is square my natal Pluto: My interpretive text reads: “You must take responsibility for previously unacknowledged areas of your life at this time, whether you would like to or not. This transit makes concrete your urge for self-transformation and regeneration. You are entering a new phase of existence in which the habitual patterns and concerns of the old way may vanish entirely. You may have to confront issues of power, control and authority. You are more purposeful and serious regarding your goals, and find that the way that your life has been structured up to now must change. This is a time for facing squarely the past and its implications for your continued growth in the present.”
I use astrology to help guide me in my every day life, so I take note of how it shows up and affects me. Saturn square Pluto above showed up as me recognizing opportunities to make conscious decisions when I see a lesson before me. Usually it’s easy to see and easy to choose. Sometimes my ego says, “not yet, let me wallow a little more in this addictive, astral emotional taffy that feels so painfully familiar yet paradoxically comforting.” Well, ok, I did that a lot more in my 40’s than I do now, but I recognize now when I do it. I didn’t always recognize it, I simply thought of myself as passionate.
Also transiting Saturn is semi-sextile with my natal Moon, affecting me January to October 2014. Interpretation: “You feel lonely and isolated as you dwell on the structure of your own life, rather than being able to relate wholeheartedly to friends and family. The Moon is a reflection of your female nature. This will become emphasized in your awareness, and slowed down for you, making you notice even more the part they play in your life as a result of this transit.”
I don’t mind when I observe feelings of loneliness and isolation move through me; they’re fleeting and are not painful. Having so much Aries in my chart, I have a very “masculine” dominant nature, so taking a break to be more passive and subject to influence is good for me. For the first time in 20 years, I’ve got a dominant partner. I’d forgotten how relaxed and supported I feel when someone else knows how to lead. I appreciate when the Universe slows down a lesson for me, it makes it easier to notice. I’ve found that if I’m driving and I come upon a tree across the road, there’s far less damage if I’m only going 12 mph.
Transiting Jupiter opposing natal Chiron August 2013 thru April 2014: “Your religious philosophy and intellectual framework are being subjected to a certain amount of suffering and re-examination. Painful experiences in these areas could lead you to a new outlook on life. You may feel a revitalization of the healing awareness within yourself, possibly in connection to the process of work done in connecting to old wounds, received in earlier developmental stages. When we reconnect with repressed and potentially painful feelings that have been buried away in the depths of our psyche we inhabit these rejected parts of ourselves and become more whole. At this time, you may connect with a higher purpose in the work that you do, especially if this work involves helping people to heal in some way, and to grow in their own understanding of who they really are.”
I can’t say I’ve experienced this as pain and suffering other than fleeting aggravation or frustration. Fleeting because once I’ve identified resistance, I take steps to drop it. I got a good practice session in a couple of years ago, of having buttons and boundaries pushed. It was 2 years of making hard decisions while maintaining mindfulness. It wasn’t always pretty but it showed me who I was. I was not horrified. I’ve come a long way, baby.
This time last year, I had transiting Uranus in opposition to my natal Saturn, through January 2015. “This is a stressful time of great internal pressure upon the existing structure of your daily life, as unusually vivid insights or perhaps unexpected events threaten your security and the feeling of status quo. You may feel frustrated by limitations which seem unnecessary to your present circumstance, and which seem to hold you back from movement towards new paths for yourself. You are forced to reexamine and perhaps discard old outmoded concepts or habitual patterns. Some of your existing structure will have to be maintained in the face of challenge to it, since it forms an important part of your self-concept. You must try not to throw out the baby with the bathwater, as you struggle through the tests of this period of time. Instead, to dance with the conflict itself is the medicine you require. This is a time to take on the process for the sake of the process, trusting that events will unfold in their own organic way.”
This “stressful time” manifested for me as a time of intense personal reflection in which I was made aware of habitual patterns I was ready to release. I’d not have known that had I not had buttons pushed and issues triggered. Also, this time last year I had transiting Pluto begin opposing my natal Uranus, through December 2014. ” You may experience a discontinuity in your life at this time, as something that arises out of your deep unconscious suddenly comes into view, and a big piece of yourself changes. You will undoubtedly have profound spiritual insights as a result of the revelations of this period.”
And I am. A big issue was realizing when I was being helpful and when I was not. If a friend said, “this is the best raspberry tea I’ve ever had, I could drink it all day every day,” I’d likely buy a half dozen boxes to keep on hand. Then I might ask why they weren’t drinking it. That might lead to them disclosing they really just enjoyed it in the moment and were giving a compliment. That might lead to me asking why they didn’t just say that? That might lead to a discussion about why don’t you just say what you mean? That might lead to … you get it. My lesson was people can fabricate things they don’t mean when they don’t know how to express what they do mean. One lesson was to stop filling in the blanks with someone who doesn’t communicate. Another was allow friends lots of time to daydream about what they want without expecting to see them do anything about it. We may say we want something, but what we mean is we are enjoying thinking and daydreaming and talking about it. I’ve learned don’t try to make someone’s dream happen before they have grown themselves into it. As usual, my biggest lesson is to pay more attention to who I am and less attention to what anyone else is doing.
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