Is it ok to break up with someone over Facebook?

Monday January 26, 2009  *ow *ow *ow OK, now both index fingers have cuts on them, teaching me another great lesson about myself: journalling must be an addiction if I feel compelled to do it despite having to type awkwardly and painfully with bandaged fingers.  Typing with second fingers in place of first while they heal.  It ouches me, but not too badly.  But the desire to express what is inside me makes the little bit of aggravation and pain worth it.  Like the dog doesn’t mind getting bugs in his teeth when he hangs his head out the window of the car – it’s just so worth it to feel the wind in his laughey face.

I just read an article about a woman whose husband killed her after she changed her Facebook status to single.   A poll at the end of the article asks: Is it ok to break up with someone over Facebook?

I personally just discovered Facebook and am still discovering how it works.  From what I can tell, though, it appears that people can have Facebook accounts and get messages there.  They can control who is allowed to see their profile or send them messages.  Not like just having an email address for anyone to contact you at.

So, is it ok to break up with someone over Facebook? I don’t think that is cool, unless you allow them to respond to you.  I didn’t get real involved with the internet until 1996.  But I love email.  I always prefer an email over a phone call and that is not just for time saving reasons.  It’s also because when you write something down, you become more clear in exactly what it is you want to say.  Also, it allows the reader to really pay attention and re-read so they can understand.  On the phone, it can be a superficial conversation.  In writing, you’ll fill in the missing details.

So I think it’s fine to use email to discuss the evolution of a relationship, even the desire to break up.  But I do believe everyone is entitled to an in-person exit interview if they want it.   If it’s unexpected it can be hurtful, sure. For me, the overriding thought is “I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me” so I recover pretty quickly.  If someone doesn’t think I am the goddess supreme love of their life, well, then I’ll take a pass.  If it’s not smoldering coals and starfire light, I don’t have time for it *smile*

But to break up with someone on Facebook, and block them from responding and having their say?  That’s a karma I would not care to have.  More importantly than that, that’s not in the direction I would want to place my energy at that time.  I would want to make sure both parties felt understood and heard. Even if they disagreed and had conflicting perceptions of what happened.  At least they felt listened to and heard, and had a chance to explain and ask questions until both felt closure.

Plus that keeps both parties from having to experience the same karma all over again with their next partner  🙂

I’m just discovering Facebook
Managing Incoming Information; What Is Facebook For?
Facebook quizzes; every little bit of insight helps
Facebook posts; I’m in charge of what I attract
Facebook friends to the rescue, helping me Excel
If a Friend Asks For $$ In Facebook, Ask A Personal Question
You Want To Be My Friend On Facebook?
How To Stop The Stupid Facebook Posts On Your Wall
The Zen of Farmville on Facebook? WTF?
Are Your Facebook Friends Really Your Friends? Don’t Assume Mine Are Either
What I post on Facebook
Finding childhood buds on Facebook, flashback to age 18
Putting personal details on Facebook and Myspace
Why I like Facebook

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