I’m suddenly sharing space after 15 years of relative monkdom and functional solitude.  It’s been easier than I thought it’d be, although it has thrown my working/sleeping schedule waaay off.  And accelerated my candy consumption for the first month. This has been most helpful since it points out to me patterns of behavior I was unaware I had.  Such as: I know I need quiet time to write.  What I did not know was that I keep a running total in my head of how much quiet and rest I am getting in order to stay energetically recouped.  My keeping track keeps me uptight about it.  I also notice I do things like announcing I don’t want to dialogue while I’m giving thought time to something.  Then if I allow myself to be distracted, I begin the clock (the countdown to sleep) all over again.  Meaning that all the quiet and rest time I’ve intermittedly had is now erased and I have to start over.  Nice mind trick, huh, when I’m trying to wind down and relax?  I do it all the time.  The result is I feel I don’t get much solitude time.  However, I’ve learned I simply need to change my perception that I need anything to be other than it is in order to accomodate me.  Train myself to find the rest and quiet within the chaos that is the world.  Also change my perception of how much sleep I need and how much rest I’m actually getting.

My answer to the solitude was to create more space inside my office, so I could have a cozy den to retreat to for short spells, and there are always the outside trails to wander around in. I put 2 new ceiling hooks up at the east end of the living room and ran a rod with a dark curtain separating the end of the couch, giving the couch sitter privacy from the kitchen and back porch. Another rod and curtain separates the space from the rest of the living room, a cozy 10×10 space. 

So far, sharing space is fine.  We know to respect each other’s privacy.  We both work from home so we get plenty of alone and apart time while we’re working.  So far, so good.  

RELATED:  Adjusting to sharing space