My sleeping/waking schedule is now officially all jacked up so I am going to stop pretending I have a schedule. My daily schedule generally revolves around what readings I have. I do them in the evenings, and do Horizons Magazine during the day. I make sure I nap beforehand, usually 4-8pm. But when I have giant head congestion/pollen allergies like the last 2 weeks, I have to reschedule all phone sessions. With no scheduled appointments, I can sleep when I want, I can wake when I want, I can work on the mag when I want, day or night. So it’s easy to get off schedule and find myself sleeping from 7pm until midnight, then up until dawn, sleeping til 9-10am. It puts me out of sync with most of the world, but that’s a good thing. I like being on my own schedule with my own thoughts.
I was talking to a friend from Asheville this morning. She advertises her study group in a local magazine up there and was thinking of stopping the ad. She said, “I’m not doing the personal work on my side. I”m too, too busy and careless to apply the changes I feel I should be making. As a result, my life isn’t improving and I’m not attracting people to the study groups and classes. I’m not even happy or freer! Only a handful of people show up anyway. I am spread too thin.”
She continued, “Everyone is already following/doing what they feel is best for themselves, especially in the local new-age community. They are reluctant to trade philosophies unless someone clearly exhibits the zing! that an authentic, expanding life is creating. And if they’re unhappy with their choices, they want evidence of something better. Not another theory.”
I replied to her, “I so know what you mean. And they can’t see there is something better in front of them because of who they are and their rigid beliefs. I truly recognize that we focus on presenting our material to our metaphysical, new age community, when they are the ones who cannot hear the teaching. They are so set in their beliefs about what doesn’t work since they’ve been listening to so many people for so many years talk about things they didn’t know about and aren’t practicing anyway.”
Their problem is they chose as a teacher someone who didn’t have the most knowledge, so when the more knowledgeable teacher comes along, well, they know it feels different than the old teacher and, well, different must mean resistance and resistance must mean don’t go there. The resistance is simply a different vibe, but that isn’t what they’ve been taught, so they miss the better teacher and the greater teaching since they don’t attend her classes – because it doesn’t feel right.
Their loss. That’s why they say one is never a sage in her own hometown. Seldom can she break thru the rigid beliefs the others formed of her early on, seldom can they see who she has now become and the huge gift she has to bring them. The reason most feel resistance to attend is that what she has to offer, her vibe is not in alignment with what they now know. But what they know is so often the lesser knowing. What she has to offer could expand their perception immensely, if they could hear it and take it in.
And only those asking to be free of their limited perceptions, asking bring me truth even if it differs from what I now know, will be attracted to attend. Then it doesn’t matter if you advertise in the local new age magazine or The Baptist Weekly, you will attract those seeking your information. And the most open mind may NOT be within the local new age community. I’d put that ad in the local mainstream ad weekly and fish the new pond.”
She then said, “Still dating John, despite breaking up briefly several times. We’re progressing individually within the relationship, I think, but I can’t let go completely. He fills a void in me (something having to do with lack of self-worth and self-love) and I’d rather let him supply it than remedy it myself.”
I replied, “I can relate. I have been chemically attracted to the wrong men in the past, men I had nothing in common with other than physicality. I think we just have to let things like that run their course. Let them be over when it feels right, if ever. For me these days, I know another person is too distractive from the work I do. If I’m all caught up emotionally with anything, I am not a clear channel for readings, period, end of story. And readings are not only my income, they are also my personal mission and most fulfilling seva.
For me, any fraction of a moment in time I ever thought I was lonely was hugely eclipsed by the days, weeks, years I spent being with really cool guys I no longer wanted to be with. That is the far lonelier feeling, being with a great guy I really love, when I simply wanted to be alone with my own thoughts.”
So how do we know who’s real and who’s not? How do we know who has the “right” knowledge and the “best” truth? How much do our emotional fluctuations have to do with our ability to clearly access inner guidance? Can we take all our thoughts about all our troubles and hold them in our open hands and sincerely ask, “let me be wrong about all of this”?
We ask to be allowed to see truth and to recognize it when we see it. We ask to keep our minds open enough to allow new information in for consideration. We listen to many sides of each story and wait before forming an opinion. Then we’ll be attracted to the right place to be, the right class to attend, the right group to study with. And we cannot be surprised who does and does not show up in front of us.”
Andrea