I love it when friends write about past mistakes they’ve made and what they’ve learned from them; when they take responsibility for what they’ve attracted in the Now as a result. A friend writes: “I think it is fair to say that my friends, family, peers and loved ones know that I don’t exactly have a propensity toward anger. Assuming that is true I did something a couple of days ago that would make up for a lifetime of refraining from this destructive emotion of anger when I wrote a letter that was unmerited, unjustified, critical and on the mean spirited side to another professional who has only had my best interest at heart. This begs the ultimate question “Have I lost my ever loving frickin mind”? The letter reflected nothing less than projection which reflected an anger that is totally displaced. Bringing pain and heart ache into the lives of others is not consistent with any form of spirituality that I am aware of.
I think I shall go back to the basics and begin reading some vacation Bible School material, I missed something along the way which might be related to the large number of paint chips I consumed as a child, or riding behind the mosquito (DDT) trucks on my bicycle, maybe even my freshly painted office in my home where I have been basking in paint fumes as the video lights most likely reheat the paint causing me to prepare for my maiden flight on top of my roof and barking orders at my dog.
Humor has always hidden the pain that dwells in my heart that I have never felt comfortable or compelled to share. Every significant person in my life has given me insight, knowledge, love and understanding, so this is the moment that I have to step to the plate with or without fear, that damn monster living under my bed has to be dealt with. I just can’t get him to go away by ignoring, he is so damn scary too! I would prefer to die at the hands of this hideous beast under my bed than ever write something so hurtful and unjustified. No one deserves that. I am so very sorry from the depths of my heart.” ###
Another friend wrote: “Many of my best relationships came AFTER I was a total asshole. Realized it, then came back and apologized for it. Everybody has a day, or a moment, or whatever. If you broke it, you have to make it right.”
This is how we grow and learn, by hanging with mindful folks who are honest about their journey, giving us an easier roadmap to follow.