For Valentine’s Day, as I reflect on my love life the last year, I am reminded that I attract everything that comes into my experience.  As long as I love being a lifeguard, I’ll attract the swimmer in distress.  Because of the private consultation work I do, I am several times a day vibrating in the space of someone in the midst of conflict resolution.  The purpose of the consult is to raise the vibe, so by the end of the session, I’m usually back in a good place, or I take some time to myself to get myself back in a good emotional vibe.  My work is one reason I go for years between relationships.  My distorted belief based on history (which was only my history because it was where I vibed in the past) is that I can either pour all my energy and attention into my work or I can pour it into one person. My distorted belief is that I can’t successfully do both.  Hence, I attracted someone in whose vibe I didn’t allow myself to successfully work my practice.  I attracted a vibrational match to my belief, even tho my belief was false.  Since it was MY belief, it became MY reality.  I attracted it.

That being said, in 2011, I felt a partner was coming my way so I began doing visualization of how that might look and feel.  Because I like to spend a lot of time enjoying my home and grounds, I thought it’d be nice to attract someone close enough to enjoy it with me.  I did.  He lived across the street.  I thought I’d like someone animated, fun and playful, because I am.  He was.   I thought I’d like someone in the creative arts to serve as muse for my own creativity.  He was a singer/songwriter. 

I wanted someone who had a strong sense of spirituality or connection to the Universe, whatever that might look like to them.  He was a born again Christian, newly disillusioned.  I enjoy turning people onto new ideas and concepts, helping them look at their beliefs to see what still serves them and what does not. Helping them reframe their life to see the value in everything that happened, showing them how to attract a different experience for the future.  He came ready to absorb it like a sponge and let it change his world.   Never doubt you have the power to change someone’s life.  But I also have to take responsibility when I awaken someone’s kundalini.

I attracted and pre-paved every bit of him through conscious visualization.  Perfect, right?  Then why the ashes blowing in the wind a year+ later?  I left out the part of the attraction process that involves my own ego, my own resistance, and my own faulty beliefs.  I can be irresponsible, lazy, unmotivated, unwilling to change or commit or follow through.  I can allow myself to get unfocused and wrapped up in the problems of my clients and go on their roller coaster ride with them for awhile.  Thus I attracted someone I shared these qualities with.  But I’ve also pre-planned for these unmotivated times many years ago by creating passive sources of income, and making sure every day something gets crossed off the To Do list.  Thus I think everyone else could benefit by doing the same.  I can be judgmental when they make no moves to make it happen when it’s so easy.

While 2012 was a roller coaster ride of a year, I would not have missed it for the world.  It showed me that I am a very powerful attractor and, in the case of partners or soul mates, I have to be careful of what I am personally adding to the mix as far as resistance and false beliefs.  Thus I am in no hurry to find a mate anytime soon.

Nine days before I met him, I wrote at I’m living happily ever after and did not need a Prince to get me there: “I don’t have the “romantic partner for life” dream. I used to always be in a relationship, one after another.  I loved it and them.  But in my 30’s that began to change and I began to want more time to myself.  Who I was was expanding and I needed more space between my molecules.  I wanted more silence and less in-person interaction.  I became more aware that what I think and do and say in the moment has power beyond anything I thought possible.  That when those three things are in sync, what I give out and what I get back is always instantaneous — and I can make it good and I can make it bad.

I became less interested in having romantic, sexual relationships as I became more interested in studying the things I was becoming interested in and helping friends make changes in perception in order to upgrade their lives.  Twice I met partners who were into the work and those were intense and exciting times, and very accelerating.  Having a brother on the Path is a sacred relationship to me. They act as teacher and student, as muse and artist, as we lift each other to higher levels of realization, along this shared journey of evolution of consciousness.  I began to see partners as steps on the path rather than the destination.  I entered into each one thinking, this is it, this is my partner for life. Then at some point how I felt changed and I wanted to be alone again.  When I began to see the pattern, I stopped pair bonding.  Less heartache for both when intentions change. For me, the Path is best walked alone.  The bottom line is, I’m living happily ever after and did not need a Prince to get me there.”

My gift from the Universe this Valentine’s Day is the reminder of what a powerful attractor I am, and knowing that my eyes are now more open to the loving Grace surrounding me in every moment, in every person, and that I do not need to have a physical partner in order to experience that fully.  I am so blessed.  I am so blessed.

RELATED: What does it matter if it’s come before?  Love is the river.