I stopped by a friend’s book and gift store last week. Domino has been ready for a change for a while. She found herself in a rut and knew she had to do something different to shake up the shakti, so she changed locations when her lease was up in April. I walked into the store and was delighted with how it all looked, chimes and ornaments hanging from the ceiling, neat cases full of books and gifts and jewelry and art and music. The first thing Domino did was apologize for the disorganization, although I saw none. That’s just her way. Then she began to tell me all her health problems and all the medication complications she’s having. That’s her way, too. The problem with her last retail location was that people would come in but not buy, she said. While I was there, 2 customers came in and browsed and she talked one out of a pricey necklace and earring set because “don’t buy something you’re not happy with that you might be sorry for later.” She doesn’t realize she does it. Then she came back and resumed telling me all her woes and that began to segue into pointing out how bad the economy is and I had to stop her in her tracks. Here we were in a beautiful store in the midst of delightful and fun items available for purchase (and me with my wallet) and the owner has pulled my attention away from all that and made me just want to walk out and be away from the downer chick. And she doesn’t realize she does it. So moving hasn’t helped her, since wherever she goes, there she is.
I told her how much I liked the new look and reminded her that part of her job as a retail owner is to keep her thoughts focused during working hours on how much she appreciates her space and everything she has to offer. It’s not that I’m not interested that she’s having a bad day with her arthritis, it’s that I know the two of us focusing on it is: (1) not going to make it better and (2) is going to drag her down to bummer land and when she’s there, no sales will happen, customers won’t even walk in and I’ll walk out. So an important part of her job is to stay focused on good things so she can attract business and income. She sometimes forgets that. We all need reminders.
If your business isn’t doing well, ask yourself what is your self talk during the day? What do you spend most of the day thinking about and talking about? It’s all related.
Criticism increases your separation from and decreases your awareness of what you criticize, until you end up responding to a secondary creation of your own that may no longer bear any resemblance to the original. Whatever you praise will bring you closer to and increase your awareness of what you praise, expanding your growth in many ways. Serge Kahili King in Urban Shaman