It had to happen.  I moved the laptop back into the bedroom.  I have this great nook in there for it, but I haven’t used the laptop for months. I mostly use the iPad for Facebook in the bedroom. Now that my room is once again a cozy haven, I want a spot to do some serious writing. I like an old school external keyboard and mouse, for speedy navigation in my constant research. I’ve got the laptop set up on the tabletop of 3 tiered corner desk. The two shelves above are the bedroom altar, with red lamps shining upon the sacred images and murtis, incense holders, candles, sacred salts, ash and crystals. The plush bed is behind me, matching nightstands on either side. A landmark. Something I’ve never done in this room: made room to give another person equal space.  It’s not as painful as I thought it might be. I hung White Tara above the bed, known for compassion, long life, healing and serenity. A comfy chair faces the east garden. Sipping hot tea this 54 degree morning, I watch the sun rise through the trees. As it does, the squirrels and birds wake up and begin to play for me. 

Mmmm, I smell something yummy coming from the kitchen. I’ve been roasting vegetables in the mornings and I place the peels of my clementine orange and lemons on top of the convection oven. Since the top of the oven heats up, it turns the peels into potpourri each time I cook. I threw a cinnamon stick up there, too. The scent is enchanting.

Enchanted! I’ve been going through another period of enchantment, this time with my food blog: Goddess Grub, Healthy and Luscious Low Fat Meals for the Goddess on the Go.  “What’s with all the new food posts??” a friend asked. I explained that my posts increase each holiday season as I channel the nervous energy of my clients. Their energy translates for me into ideas for various food treatments that are healthy twists on standard favorites. I can tell when I’m about to connect with someone who’s got a real emotional tangle going on, as I feel compelled to research and cook particular foods, in an almost ritualistic and compulsive way.

Some part of me knows what that’s all about, but it’s not my conscious mind. Maybe my gatekeeper is someone who also loved to cook, so thus the vehicle of translation…  At times I find my self doing almost frantic food research and postings.  Cooking and researching food as medicine is a passion of mine, and also a big stress reliever. I’m unaware of having any stress right now, but I also thought that when I was burned out years ago. Only in retrospect can I see where I truly was.

It’s interesting, I’ve been guided to do several projects through the years, which I afterward handed over to someone else.  Each time, I was guided to put particular writings  or websites out, even though I had no real personal interest in it. Sometimes I just happened to be researching something and ended up with a whole lot of info about it. So I’d create a blog post as reference for someone else going through whatever I’d gone through.  Save them some research time. Some have been quite profitable for me.

These days, I’m very aware that whatever it is I am guided to do, it will not necessarily be mine to keep.  Maybe it’s something for me to put into place for someone else to benefit by later.  If I am who I say I am, then I cannot be attached when that happens. We’re either all One or we’re not.

So, as my friend asked, why all the food blog posts or for that matter, why the constant furniture rearranging? Is it being restless and filling time with rearranging deck chairs on a titanic? Or is it having released resistance enough for pure positive energy to flow forth, and then continually finding preference and tweaking my physical world to fit my vision?

Which is it?
I’ll let you know as soon as I know.