I’ve grown up having to keep my eye on the clock. My entire life I’ve been on a time schedule.  From the time clocks of the 1970’s to the 22  years as a paralegal keeping track of time — in 6 minute segments — for client billing purposes.  Later, the hourly billing for spiritual counseling and psychic readings.  I work on publisher’s deadlines for contract work, on my tax accountant’s deadline for quarterly reporting, and on a commercial print shop’s monthly magazine print schedule.  I keep two appointment books: one for daytime 6:00am to 6:00pm, and the other for evenings 6:00pm to 6:00am.  I’ve gotten so programmed that I can even wake up in the dark middle of the night and guess within minutes of what time it is.   I used to resent being tied to a clock since it basically meant I was never able to completely relax.  I later realized it was simply how I choose to perceive it.

So, every day I watch the clock and stay on schedule and then for about a week after the new magazine comes out, I turn all my clocks to the wall and do my best to be involved in activities that encourage me to relax and lose time.  I can tell I’m still stressed when I find myself wondering what time it is when I don’t have to watch the clock and I have nowhere I have to be.  When I catch myself doing that mind game, I take a deep breath and let it go and get back to the business of the Now.