Bryan Tilford, so much more than friend and former partner, he was a spiritual brother on the Path

It’s been a challenging week. I’ve been busy with final layout of the May magazine and it’s been a week since a beloved friend passed.  brYan Tilford’s Memorial is today at 3pm at Unity of Melbourne. So much more than just a friend and former partner, brYan was a spiritual brother on the Path. He seemed to sleep as little as I do, so we had many late night conversations. There were worldly topics we had differing opinions about, but we were in accord about matters of the soul.  brYan had a deep faith and was very passionate about it. We’d take what was going on in our daily lives and dissect them for spiritual insights and lessons. Not everyone cares to do that. It gave us a deep connection.  brYan died of a big heart, Hypertrophic heart. Ironic, huh, but that’s how he made room for us all. I’ve been missing him this week, a week I needed to stay focused on articles and editing and ads and calls and deadlines.  I took many breaks. I did a lot of gardening. Like house cleaning, gardening always helps me sort my thoughts. It gives my physical body something to do: it engages my lower, concrete mind so that my higher, abstract mind can work out what I’m feeling. I’m feeling loss, although I know there is no loss. I’m feeling grateful that one day he and I will catch up and he’ll tell me the awesome stories of what he’s been doing since last week. Sadness? Ah, this too shall pass. I know to accept all things. It was a challenging week, but it gets better each day.  brYan’s memorial is today. It hurts me to be unable to go, but the “I” of me is there no matter where my body has to be. So for now, it’s back onto the Path, one foot in front of the other, hand to the plow, life goes on.

MORE ABOUT BRYAN:  Rest in Peace, brYan Tilford
What I got when I asked brYan Tilford for a Crossing Over Song
The end of death as we know it

In June 2011, I’d asked Bryan if he had a Crossing Over song, something that could be played at a friend’s memorial service.  He did not have one, so I asked if he might write one for me. I told him I know that no matter if my body dies, that my soul will live on. That was why death did not scare me. Even in a violent death, I knew that the soul would leave the body before it became too much to bear. Like when the cheetah catches the gazelle, and the gazelle writhes and screams, its soul has long left the body, and what we see are the muscles going through automatic responses. This is what Bryan is referring to in the last paragraph. While he did this for me, I thought it appropriate to share it.

July 6, 2011 From Bryan:
this was handed to me special delivery – a gusher. not sure if it’s exactly what you were looking for, but spec delv songs i don’t argue with.
title could simply be – crossover.
i’m going from pov of griever to the one crossing over. musically i’m not hearing somber tones, but a comforting rhythm type (ie eat2live (a song he did for me)) beginning that builds to a joyous something. not sure what. yet.
the spacings are to remind me of meter and phrasings.
sorry, no gazelles 8^) extreme rough first draft. Continue reading →

brYan Tilford, bigger than life

brYan Tilford’s memorial service is scheduled for 3:00 this Saturday April 19, 2014, at Unity of Melbourne, 1745 Trimble Road , Melbourne FL 32934 phone 321-254-0313.  I am scheduled elsewhere and have connected with the family. I know if I cannot attend I am no less connected to everyone who shared in brYan’s heart. The bane of my career/path is not having time to connect in person at many important events. But the bane is also the boon as it strengthens my experience of the inner connection. Most of my conversations with brYan were about our faith, so he knows I’m there no matter where my body has to be.

Rest in Peace, brYan Tilford
What I got when I asked brYan Tilford for a Crossing Over Song

A dear friend passed Saturday (RIP Bryan Tilford) making it a contemplative weekend. We’d spoken just the night before.  Bryan could always be counted on to be awake working in the wee hours as I was, and we’d often connect and share thoughts.  I went into gardening mode, taking my pruning shears into the yard and began topping the turk’s cap. An hour later, cuttings in hand, I went to my mate’s and began creating a garden outside his dining room window.  His home gets full sun, so I also brought over a loquat for shade next year.

Continue reading →

The way you heal is by privately contacting the one you’ve wronged, taking responsibility and retracting untruths. No one heals by announcing loudly in public they’re ready to make amends, to people who’ve never heard the real story.  That’s just more posturing. You’ll know when they’re ready to be sincere because they’ll stop talking about it and they’ll just do it.

RELATED: The magic of making amends

Bryan Tilford, Beloved B, you will be missed.

A beloved spiritual brother chose today to drop his Earth robes.  We first met back in the late 80’s when I was at WFIT. The sadness of losing a loved one is made bearable by knowing we left nothing unsaid between us. We’ll meet again, Beloved B.
Rumi says: On the day I die, don’t say he’s gone. Death has nothing to do with going away.  The sun sets, and the moon sets but they’re not gone.  Death is a coming together.  The human seed goes down into the ground like a bucket, and comes up with some unimagined beauty. Your mouth closes here, and immediately opens with a shout of joy there. Continue reading →

Ny account was hacked so if you got a weird email “Subject: RE: Fw: Re:” just DELETE IT without replying. It’s not a virus, you’re safe unless you click on the link. You can’t get a virus if you don’t click on the link. If you REPLY to the email, that lets them know a real person is at that address. If you just delete it without clicking the link or replying, you’ll only get a few. All passwords have been changed.  But I know how it happened. Yesterday on Facebook I went to “Settings” and chose “Download a copy of your Facebook data.”  Don’t do that!  It was going to send the data to my email account in a zip file.  It did not do that. It looks like what happened is anyone in my FB friends list that lists their email address in their Facebook info got some spam from my old AOL account.

I know it’s connected to Facebook because many of the names it went to are FB friends I don’t know and don’t have in my AOL address book. Like several friends who do not list their email address on FB yet I have in my AOL address book did not get the spam email. But on the upside I got to connect with friends and got two ads for the upcoming magazine!  There are no mistakes, ever.

RELATED: These sites tell if your account has been hacked

Take what you have and make what you want! I had a good exercise in faith this morning.  I’d gone for an early walk and was closer to a friend’s home than mine when it began raining, so I dashed onto his porch.  I offered to cook breakfast in return for a ride home in the rain, since I had freshly baked potatoes.  He challenged me to make breakfast at his place.  Hmmm… upon first glance in the fridge, he had the typical bachelor ingredients: condiments,  some lettuce, almond milk, not much.  My exercise in faith was that, despite his fridge looking rather bare, there were a lot of wrapped items that could be just about anything. Fingers crossed! Continue reading →

Find a new focus

The only reason your mind keeps going back to the past is that you haven’t poured enough energy into finding a new focus. Find a new focus.   Put yourself through the paces of a new pattern of thought and action and the old pattern will be gone before you can say, “I did WHAT for how long???”