Well I got 3 out of 5 for $9 on last night’s Fantasy 5.  I’ve been playing the lottery a bit, I used to always get a quick pick, but this time I am picking my numbers for the Fantasy Five and Lotto.  I’ve had some luck with the Monopoly and Lucky 7’s scratch off tickets also.  My rule is I can only use lottery winnings to buy more tickets, or change I have in the car.  So far I am about even. And I’m actively doing visualization about watching them draw the numbers and me checking the numbers on my ticket and seeing they are winners and getting excited about it.  As soon as I wake up in the morning, I think “today’s the day, let me check my numbers and see what I’ve won”.  

I emailed Sharron H for an Illumination process intro session. She asked me to think about an issue in my life. I replied: My issues are mostly that I am approaching the rut of burnout and even though I recognize it, one of the symptoms is thinking I’m not at a critical stage.

I mostly feel:

1. overwhelmed with work, mostly reading work, or administrative mag work.
2. like there is no time to do personal things or see friends in the flesh and do things with.
3. that I have to do everything myself, if it’s to get done.

I mostly do:

1. Keep replaying the tape that says, “it’s my responsibility to help XYZ work their stuff out.”

2. Also replay the movie that says “it’s my karma to kept them overcome their karma” and that if I don’t, I will just have to keep getting that lesson over and over again with new people.

3. I make good money but to do so I get myself scheduled too tight with (reading) clients who think can’t live their lives without my counsel.

4. Then I begin to feel like everyone’s taking from me and no one gives.  When I notice I feel like that, I just clear my calendar, cancelling at the last minute a dozen readings just to give me a week I don’t have to be glued to the phone all night.

And by the above, I mean “I mostly do” for the purpose of defining my “issues” here in this email for you.  Because mostly I stay happily busy with work and interaction and love everything and everyone around me and know to change my self-talk when I feel a downward spiral of thought begin.  So this is one area I haven’t addressed sufficiently to change it.

I used to think money would fix everything. Then I got money and thought more time would fix everything. Now I realize there’s plenty of time for everything and nothing ever needs fixing except my perception.  And if my own perception got me stuck where I am now, I may not be the best one to unstick me. So I am ready for some clearing, see you Tuesday.

Oh, worth noting:

A friend who was like a brother to me from age 6 just died 2 months ago and he was the one person I had in the past dozen years since my mom passed, who was my only true confidant, so I miss his verbalization immensely.

Also worth noting, I do the orb photography work, which I know puts me in the vibe of astral, elemental energy on a regular basis and I know that can tend to make stuff ‘stick’ to me.  I think I clear it out effectively, but it’s worth noting that may be an issue.