Author Archives: Andrea
How beautiful to decide to deal with the monster under the bed
I love it when friends write about past mistakes they’ve made and what they’ve learned from them; when they take responsibility for what they’ve attracted in the Now as a result. A friend writes: “I think it is fair to say that my friends, family, peers and loved ones know that I don’t exactly have a propensity toward anger. Assuming that is true I did something a couple of days ago that would make up for a lifetime of refraining from this destructive emotion of anger when I wrote a letter that was unmerited, unjustified, critical and on the mean spirited side to another professional who has only had my best interest at heart. This begs the ultimate question “Have I lost my ever loving frickin mind”? The letter reflected nothing less than projection which reflected an anger that is totally displaced. Bringing pain and heart ache into the lives of others is not consistent with any form of spirituality that I am aware of.
You want to heal and teach? Tell the story as it really happened
I already know what the spin will be. The spin will be the house was in foreclosure, the court date was coming up and everyone was moving out anyway. That doesn’t negate a year of unnecessary blowups, refusal to help when asked, not paying rent, habitually lying, disrespecting your parent in their own home, letting your girlfriend do the same and causing a massive scene of hateful words upon departure. Living across the street, I hear more than I want to hear. He has never left a relationship honorably, not even with family. Both of them spin tales in their blogs about their journey of enlightenment, not writing about what actually goes on day by day, the real life lessons. Yes, he acted dishonorably and won’t admit it, but she takes it to a whole new level of continued outright fabrication. If it was me? If I had done that? I’d be sorry for the hurt I’d caused. I’d own up to what I did and recognize I did it out of a place of imbalance. I’d apologize for being unconscious and acting selfishly. Now that’s a hot topic for a blog post – the truth about a difficult situation and how you really handled it. That is what teaches, that is what heals. But, since it’s not me, I don’t expect that to happen. Continue reading
Whoever you are, the door is always open
A friend writes, “I didn’t want to leave it this way. I wanted to say I’m sorry I hurt you. You did nothing but help and I lied and took advantage. I loved you in my way. Your kindness, your light, I couldn’t handle it. Another excuse I know. But I wanted to leave with the door open between us. I am sorry.”
A morning meditation
… Sit twice a day for 20 minutes at a time …
Morning meditation. A lot to be thankful for. A new day, a new beginning, a fresh start. Starting right now, I can be more mindful as I go about my day, to draw every bit of juicy sweetness out of it as possible. I want to expand myself to live my most full and meaningful life. I want to live a life that encourages opening eyes to the simple wonder we live in and to how powerful we all are. Truth and transparency set you free like nothing else. Doubt leaves, Grace descends. The more I look to be grateful for, the more profoundly I am blessed.
RELATED: Meditation links
A walk through the hours of the day in a Benedictine monastery
Elizabeth Griffin writes :”I have often had an image of myself as a monk in housewife garb. It’s a portrait that does not present any sense of struggle as much as reminding me of who I am within. I know my path is not a cloistered one. Still, I have always been interested in a hermit’s ethic. To my delight, I recently discovered the books of David Steindl-Rast. He is a Benedictine Monk, originally from Austria, who resettled in the States and lives in a Monastery in Big Sur, CA. He wrote a book called Music of Silence, in which he walks the reader from morning until night from the point of view of his religious order. The day is broken into parts that are accompanied by chants and prayer. So each segment of the day has characteristics on which reflection can take place.
As a parent, do you enable or disable your children? Do the tv shows they watch enable them or disable them?
I didn’t raise kids, although we had custody of a stepdaughter for 3 years. She was independent, she was smart, she was street savvy. That was all good since her mother left her on her own so much from age 4 until we got her at age 10. I had insights this year about why the new generation is like they are. Many of them have had to raise themselves. Many of them are under-educated and emotionally over-charged. A friend has two children she’s left unattended overnight all year long as she spends nights at her boyfriend’s. They are used to raising themselves. Their home schooling leaves them unprepared and under-socialized, their peers and role models are on tv. Each is emotionally halted at about age 10. Continue reading
Prayers, please, for the misled who think they must lie, cheat and steal to survive
May they feel the peace that comes from being loved deeply, truly and unconditionally. May they feel there is always enough and they are always safe. Then let it be so.
A peaceful end to a roller coaster ride
A friend has burned another bridge, this time his mother as he leaves her in the lurch after having housed him and his girlfriend since February, with no help from them. I’ve seen the violent outbursts firsthand and am glad she’s free of the financial drain and psychological abuse from them both. Being across the street I hear more than I want to hear. There is never an excuse to disrespect anyone as they’ve both done. Never. I’m sure there will be an interesting spin on this story in their blogs, but I won’t be reading them. I wasn’t even asking for the info last week when my spidey sense told me that I should out of the blue call his father, whom I’ve known 20 years. Unknown to me at the time, he’d just had the blow up at home and stormed out to move in with his dad. My spidey sense “warned me” but I didn’t know of what. I just knew he was no longer at his mom’s, who lives across the street from me.
Turn your attention elsewhere and stop creating more karma
A friend complained to me about a “self described healer and teacher and student of zen” who is a sociopath, a habitual liar, has unethical business practices and doesn’t pay their bills. I asked what his problem with it was. “Well, they shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it.”
Me: “Why make it your business? Can you turn your attention to something else?”
Him: “But it will still be happening, it won’t stop because I stopped paying attention to it.”
Me: “But it will stop bothering YOU if you stop paying attention to it.”
Him: “But that doesn’t stop them.”
Me: “You don’t have to stop them. It’s not your job to stop them.”
Him: “So what’s my job? How do I fix the situation?”
Me: “You fix the situation by turning your attention to something else. You leave them up to the Universe to handle. You find fun and interesting things to focus on. You release them to their own karma. That way you stop creating more karma in your own world.” Continue reading