My big brother Jerry was early on dubbed the black sheep, simply because he rebelled.  He saw injustice and he stood up for us kids but the patriarch had the power to banish him from the kingdom and no one dare speak his name foreverafter. I’m sure this placed our father in his own particular hell for many years later, although I have long forgiven him.  So who gets to decide who’s the black sheep?  I’m known as the sweet but misguided one who’s going to hell because of what I believe, and believe so publicly in Horizons Magazine.   Wise words from galpal Barbara Nowak:  “The family scapegoat serves an important purpose in a hurting family: it takes the spotlight off of the real issues and projects it all on to one individual who will do “bad” for them. If children can’t get attention for being positive, they will get it anyway they can, including being “bad.” Some get “locked into” the bad drama . . courts, drugs… violence, victimization, etc. But if the person steps out of the “bad” role, it’s amazing to watch the entire family try to squeeze him/her back into it so they don’t have to look within. Any family therapist will tell you that the scapegoat is often the “healthiest” member cuz they will tell the truth (actually, scream the truth) while others play games. Long live the Black Sheep!!”

RELATED: I consider it an honor when someone uses me as the scapegoat

I’ve watched the Real Housewives shows off and on the past couple of years and have had a couple of the housewives as clients. I like reality shows because I like to see how people act, react and relate during all kinds of conditions. Under stress is when we learn who someone really is, and under stress we learn who we are, too. RHOA cast member Kenya Moore is an easy villain to target. She knows she’s hot, she’s narcissistic, she openly flirts with friends’ husbands, she’s an instigator, she’s unapologetically arrogant and has a history of fabrication and exaggeration. She’s like a female version of Phaedra’s husband Apollo, and they both love the attention. A vibrational match. In last night’s show, Apollo admits he lied to his wife and everyone else about Kenya coming on to him. He literally dragged Kenya thru the mud all season and, well, we all believed it because, after all, look at her past actions. When he told his cast mates that it was all a lie he made up, they lit into him for letting them side with him for two years while they talked sh*t about Kenya in Apollo’s defense.   But who’s the real villain here? Kenya for baiting the hook, then being taken aback when she attracts a bigger fish than she bargained for? Or Apollo for getting caught in Kenya’s web and reacting as he did? Clearly neither of them were thinking about the consequences of their actions.  Continue reading →

These darned bangs.
Grow them out or cut them?
I’m going to just cut a hole out for my right eye and let the other side grow out.  And i just found this image proving that it’s doable!

The day began with a surprise doubling in price of an essential item, a $159 increase, but I didn’t fret because it was worth it and that’s life. Then I was looking through all my jacket pockets gathering gloves for washing and found two $100 dollar bills I didn’t know were there. At the end of the day, it’s all about balance.

Nutritional yeast flakes yum

Would you like some nutritional yeast on your kale?
“I’m not eating anything that sounds like that.”
How about some Magic Cheesey Sprinkles?
<making new label>
“That sounds yum, yes!”

I love it when friends give me big realizations about myself. Yesterday I took an early drive to the beach. Temps were dropping and the daybreak sky looked stormy. On the beach, it was windy and the surf was rough. My hair was in a million strings within minutes. On the boardwalk, I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a couple of years and it was fun to reconnect. Some people are invigorating to be around, they seem to make everyone come alive around them. It’s not so much that they’re the life of the party, more that they have such intense passion for life that it’s engaging to hear them talk about it. I especially enjoy conversations with friends who talk about their spiritual journey and what tools they use to help them work through issues as they arise. We’ve both studied EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and A Course in Miracles, so we discussed what we did to practice in our daily lives what we’ve learned in our studies.   Continue reading →

You cannot continue to beat the drum of things that don’t feel good when you beat them—without filling your future experience full of things that don’t feel good.  At some point, there’s going to be a tipping point that’s going to become a manifestation.   If you knew everything was really all right, and that it always has a happy ending, then you would not feel trepidation about your future. Everything is really so very all right! If you could believe and trust that, then, immediately everything would automatically and instantly become all right. – Abraham-Hicks

“Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk – you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.”  From My Father’s Recipe For The Man I Should Marry.   I had a habit of marrying mine during the infatuation stage and 12-36 months later I’d be like, “who are you?” Experience has taught me to enjoy the unfolding without carving plans in stone or mingling assets. A pal met her mate a week after he got on 3 years probation for a drunken incident. Probation ends in January and she’s nervous that he talks a lot about he can’t wait for the first beer with his bros. She kinda thought he’d be like “I can’t wait to get a good job so we can get on with our life together.”   She’s the one moving mountains to help him get his life back but she’s going in circles because she’s the only one rowing that canoe.  Live and learn.

Instead of saying, “I told you so” when karma comes around and a friend gets their come-uppance. say instead a heartfelt thanks because:
1. There but for the grace of God go I; and
2. Another soul is awakening from the illusion

“All your conflicts, dualities, and unfinished karma show up in the mirror of your intimate relationships.” Amrit Desai

A friend has a medical condition that, among other things, fogs her brain when she doesn’t eat in time.  I suggested she put it on the calendar and also a note on her monitor and bathroom mirror the times to eat. I’m the queen of forgetting whatever I’ve not made a note for.  I also have several timers I set for things like stove on, clothes out of dryer. Whenever I hear a timer, I go into the room to find it atop whatever is needing attention.  Sometimes it’s a fun surprise! As soon as I realized I could leave reminder notes and not have to rely upon my memory, I became less stressed.  When I became less stressed, my memory improved on its own.  Now let me set a timer to remember that for next time.

RELATED: I don’t always notice when I’m getting stressed