Last night I spoke with a friend who’d just split from their partner, whom they’d caught lying — again.  You know, every relationship could end in a friendly, karma-free way if only each partner would be honest when their feelings and intentions change. The ones who can’t be honest usually have a hidden agenda, even if it’s just to not rock the boat while planning their next move.  Often they no longer see the other as their forever-mate, but they aren’t ready for anything to change.  They get their meals cooked, their laundry gets done and it’s free sex, or free rent.  That’s no way to live, and no way to treat someone you once held in high regard.  Let your partner know your feelings are changing even if it breaks their heart. Don’t keep mute. Transition honestly from one stage of life with them to another stage. Just because it’s a romantic end doesn’t mean it can’t be a deep friendship for life.  A big problem is too often couples are so eager to “commit” before taking time to know who their partner is. They say words they mean in the moment and plaster it all over Facebook to prove to their ex that they’ve moved on. Three months down the road their feelings may change.  That means a lot of backtracking if they’ve made promises about love and family and forever.  What they thought was their destination, no longer is. They don’t mean for feelings to change, but when it goes, it goes. Yet they can’t be honest and say that, because they know they did not know their partner well enough before declaring undying love.  When your intention begins to be showing up as honesty and love in every moment, regardless of what anyone else thinks, that’s when lifelong friendships are born and no bridges burned in the process.

If you found out during 2014 that someone was not who they portrayed themselves to be, rather than judge or shame them for it, ask what it was in you that attracted that out of them. Bless them for having shown you the truth before they wasted too much of your life. Be thankful you are out of that vibe now and all the wiser for it.

As for me for 2014: Thank you, no matter how you showed up in my life. Whether you pushed me or pulled me, drained me or fueled me, loved me or left me, hurt me or helped me, you are part of my growth and no kidding, I thank you.

I was driving and had the fleeting thought I’d like to go to breakfast. Then I remember I don’t really eat typical breakfast food and I don’t just go into a restaurant and order anything without knowing how much fat they have added to it. I guess I like the idea of going to breakfast.

Watching Real World Skeletons, MTV’s reality show where they’ll bring castmembers’ exes into a house of randy rowdies who’ve just met and begun hooking up. Attention Everyone over age 14: all the guys you know are likely secretly hooking up with all the chicks you know and you’ll find it out 5-10-20 years down the road. Have a sense of humor about it, don’t take it personally, just govern yourself according. Like use protection and don’t expect people to mean what they say in fleeting intimate moments.

Self-published writers are upset with Amazon, since they depend upon them for promotion and sales (the article here –>  Amazon Offers All-You-Can-Eat Books. Authors Turn Up Noses,)  Kindle Unlimited is a new Amazon subscription service that offers access to 700,000 books for $9.99 a month. It brings in readers but writers earn less. As a publisher for 22 years, I hear a lot of complaints first hand by new writers.  If only the irked authors knew how it worked rather than trying to force it on the material plane. Sure, you can be the exception who has no resistance to the idea of becoming an author who earns a living from writing.  But most of us have to work years to even discover what it is we are unconsciously offering resistance to that keeps us from being successful.  Resistance is the only obstacle between you and your goal, ever.  To attract what you want, you need to release resistance. The way to release resistance is make yourself think thoughts and do activities that make you feel happy and free. Then what you want will show up by the time you’re done having fun. And if what you want isn’t showing up? That just means you haven’t had enough fun yet. Trust me.  Don’t set the goal to write for dollars, write for pleasure, don’t think about competition and who’s doing what. Pour your heart into it, stop thinking it should be bringing you income, then watch the dollars begin pouring in from unexpected sources. Maybe even from the books. But don’t blame Kindle or the new publishing world for what you attract — or don’t attract — relative to your own books. I learned early on I was a writer with no interest in being a bookseller, so my solution was to publish myself every month for the last 22 years. If it’s to be, it’s up to me to attract it.

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Expect changes in your stomach as you get older, says Dr. Sam, who is also an assistant professor of gastroenterology at Mount Sinai Hospital. Most notably, she says, its protective lining will diminish so it will be more susceptible to damage. It’s also going to take longer to breakdown your food. Commonly prescribed medications for heart disease, arthritis and back pain (as well as some over-the-counter pain relievers) also do a number on the stomach lining, which can put you at a greater risk for developing ulcers. Protect yourself. Leading an overall healthy lifestyle will definitely help long term. That means exercising regularly; eating a well-balanced diet that’s high in fiber (think whole grains, fruits and vegetables) and low in saturated fat and sugar; getting plenty of uninterrupted sleep; limiting your alcohol; not smoking; and managing your stress levels. “The GI tract is very linked to stress levels,” she says. “We’ve likely all experienced that connection when we’re nervous or upset and suddenly feel nauseous or have to race to get to the bathroom. So having a good outlet is important to help control any stress symptoms.”  Full article at http://www.purpleclover.com/health/1488-guard-your-gut/

Two friends are having a falling out. One has lived in the other’s home rent free for a year. They no longer have fun sharing space. Both want to be free of the situation.  Both have posted snarky comments on Facebook about the other.  They’ve gotten wrapped up in the drama playing out to their FB friends and began to lose sight of what they really want.  Both understand metaphysical principles, yet in the heat of the moment it’s easy to forget what you know.  It happens. That’s an ongoing part of the spiritual path: we have a revelation, we understand, we forget, then we get the same lesson over and over until we remember again. That’s why it’s called the Path of Return.  So, instead of having a discussion with each other and setting boundaries, each for awhile chose to act at home as though nothing was awry, while smack talking the other on FB.   I recognized what was happening when I saw the news feed. Each contacted me after I’d commented on their post. I reminded them of what they really wanted, to be free of the other with a new living situation. The process to do that was:
(1) intentionally finding something else to focus on.
(2) Stop focusing on what the other was doing and saying.
(3) Take steps to move forward on their own, without waiting for the other to take steps.     Continue reading →

Today began with 4:00am meditation followed by hazelnut decaf, sitting bundled up out at the firepit. I was feeling gratitude for the great year 2014 was and pondering changes I’d like to make for 2015: become more active, create more art, make time for friends, look into eating raw foods a few times a week to maximize nutrient input.  I drove beachside and delivered the January magazine to most of the Melbourne and Indialantic stores.  I called a buddy to see if he was available for an early lunch, and we met at Golden Corral. I’d been craving their lightly fried catfish and had a giant salad of spinach, romaine, beets, tomatoes, onions, black olives, fresh broccoli and steamed asparagus with it.  I stopped to visit the homie and we hung in the studio listening to Beatles tracks and discussing what new things we might be interested in for next year.  We’re on the same page, we’re ready to find new things to be enthusiastic about!  I have a habit of making a nest everywhere I sit, and it was time I made one in the new studio.  It’s set up for the musician to walk right into the master control spot and have everything at his fingertips. The only thing was missing was a designated place for a visitor, so I set about making myself a suitable nest.  I once told a young friend who had been waiting to find  his soul mate that he had to clean out his garage so she had a place to put her car, he had to unclutter the bedroom so she had a place to sleep, and he had to fix the stove so she had a place to cook.  He did those things and voila, she appeared shortly thereafter.  I moved a nightstand toward the wall and placed a pillow to sit on and one to lean on.  I made sure it was out of the way.  I scootched equipment over so there was a clear path to the window.  I opened the window.  I set up the ipad and phone on the table nearby.  Ah, comfy!  My new home away from home.