I haven’t heard from SM since July 2006 when she got mad at me over a remodeling project we were doing together here, which I stopped because it was costing me time and money and neither of us knew what we were doing.  I intuited to cut the cord on it 3 days in and hire a professional.  I paid her for her time every single day and it’s not easy getting S to take money.  Still it was cheap to get the wall done properly although it cost me almost 3x as much as it should have.  She apparently still isn’t talking to me.  I periodically email her and called once when I was in the area and she was home.    Last year a few days before her mom died, I was working in the office and a vision of her mom H come to me.  H had gone to live with S earlier in the year.  I didn’t know she was sick.  After the vision I emailed a mutual friend and told her what happened and asked what was going on with S & H.  She told me H was very sick and they expected her to pass soon, which she did a few days later.  

I felt especially sad that S knows I do that kind of work, sitting with friends ready to pass and I would have loved to sat vigil with H and H would have liked it too.  I like letting people who are passing talk (if they can talk) about their fears and memories and helping them reframe their past in a way that helps bring peace.  I like sitting with them and letting them feel enveloped by my hugs (if they are able) or just my attention and presence.  Whether they know I am there or not, because some are quite unaware.  But part of them knows and feels connected and appreciates the connection.

So I felt especially sad that during that time S cut me out.

Sure I know friends come and go but I was so surprised when S became one of those.  We all have lessons were are still learning and I’m sure no different. I want all my friends to point out to me any time they witness me doing something they believe I am not being conscious about, or that exhibits a belief that is no longer serving me.  And so when I see and hear friends doing that, I call them on it.

Example: “Ah, I got a lousy adjustable rate mortgage because someone screwed up my credit report and the economy stinks and people are stupid anyway.”  Well, no maybe you got a poor loan rate because you were getting a chance to see what you’ve been vibrating up to now, and hey the fact that you qualified at all is awesome.

Remember you’re the one who chooses to have your income unreported, so the mortgage company can’t include it for the application.  That was your choice.  So now you get a chance to be motivated to crank out the dollars for a year paying on time and clearing up other debts and re-apply and get a lots better rate.  And get out of the poverty thought that you need to hide income from the IRS because there won’t be enough otherwise.  And the new rate will also be proof of your newly-raised vibrational stance.  Cool!”

I’m not going to sugar coat it for close friends who know the drill, who know how we attract things to ourselves.  Just as I attracted this situation with S.  And I want friends to call me on my stuff, too.  That’s how we learn and evolve.  And as far as S, well I’ve learned when you’re broke in half and stuck in sh*t, you can’t help but grow.