In April, I began keeping track of what I eat and the time I eat it.  Not the calories or the fat grams or the portion size, just a simple list of what went into my mouth when.  Over the past several years, my eating habits have drastically changed.  I keep my fat grams under 40-50 a day.  That way I never have to count a calorie or portion size, ever.  I eat a lot of salads and vegetables to get nutrition from them.  The only processed food I eat is some bread, some pasta and the occasional canned soup.  No cookies or crackers or chips or cakes or donuts or candy bars or that type of thing.  My weight has stayed the same the past 4 years with no effort.  But it wasn’t until I began keeping the food diary that I realized the keeping of it unconsciously programmed me to eat the foods and at the times that I wanted to commit to writing.  I found that interesting. Continue reading →

It’s nice sometimes to just sit in the dim light and reflect on the things around me. As I was typing the Table of Contents for the upcoming Horizons Magazine, I looked at the graphic image of the rosebud. Tight in a bud ~ I could almost feel the tightness. I got a sense of anticipation, of tension, of a wanting to relax into fullness, of a wanting to ex-press oneself. (Express: to make known, to force out, to subject to pressure so as to extract) I thought, that’s true of so many of the people I know now. So many on the verge of bursting forth and ex-pressing themselves. That’s why I chose a rosebud and the accompanying Anais Nin quote on the Table of Contents: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  Continue reading →

A couple of people have asked me what I think are the karmic implications of bootlegging cds for friends, so I’m posting something I initially wrote in 1997:

The Universe Crashes My Computer
So what’s playing out in my life right now and what lessons are there to be learned from it? Hmmm, I have this big cold slowing me down, making me have to rush at the end to get this issue done on time; then one day away from completion, my computer’s Pagemaker program crashed and I was left with pages of magazine articles unprinted, no way to even open them up and no layout program to help put them together if I could open them up! I took this as a sign from the Universe to go where I wouldn’t be distracted, sit quietly, and ask (1) what was to be learned from this and (2) what was my quickest way out of it? Continue reading →

Yesterday I walked around the property while it was still cool in the morning, and sprayed the air potato vines.  This year I really have them under control, but that took several years of spraying during the season.  They are pretty, but they choke out everything they wind around.  Sound like anyone you know?   I cleared out my car to prepare for this weekend’s delivery of the September Horizons and ran out to do some errands.  On the way back, I stopped at Mid Eastern Aromas by FlaTech, where I picked up a veggie combo (eggplant and pickle!) sandwich and their stuffed grape leaves appetizer, which comes with hummus.  After lunch, I saw Izzy lying on a table in my office and he looked so adorable I took a short video of him for Facebook. The Izzy Cam seems to be popular on Facebook.  At one point, I rubbed his belly and I don’t know why out of all the freeze frames that Facebook had to choose that split second my arm was in the shot.  I was wearing my wrist brace, since my right paw has been on the mend for a few days, and it’s kind of goofy looking.  Goofy looking because when I first got them, I dyed them pink, and they are pretty shaggy by now. But they work, so I don’t care how they look. Continue reading →

Yesterday morning I had just finished up some work and spent a few minutes web surfing and came across the Gateway to Agape Choir singing a favorite song “Wholly Holy Way” It was perfect timing before my 4:00am morning meditation.  Afterward, I napped until 8:30am and then went to see Dr. David Rindge, my acupuncture physician, for some laser therapy for my right paw.  I’d over worked it with the computer mouse during the last week of final layout, so after a little R & R it will be fine again.  The laser treatment gives almost instant relief.  Thanks to David, I never had carpal tunnel surgery after a car accident in September 2000 as two doctors recommended.  Every few years I might overdo it like this week, and the laser treatment fixes me right up.  On the way home I stopped at the produce stand and got roma tomatoes, scallions, mushrooms, garlic and yellow onions. I eat a lot of onions and garlic. It keeps my immune system in tip top shape.  Back home, I spent an hour putting online my new recipe for Low Fat Pasta with Cherry Tomatoes, Calamata Olives and Capers, then I made some for lunch. Continue reading →

You know that song Any Day Now by Ronnie Milsap This favorite song has such a fun, upbeat tune and such sad words.  It used to bother me, thinking I could no longer listen to it, so I would not “program” myself with “negative” input.  Then I realized I didn’t have to make such a big deal of it.  I could just assign different meanings to the words.  Like living in the ashram and when we’d hear pop music, we’d change the love songs into songs to Krshna. The song now is simply to the beloved who has found their way to The Beloved.  No sadness and loss in being left by one who has a higher calling.  And the same with another favorite song, Only the Lonely by Roy Orbison.  I love the upbeat tune that just makes my body want to dance, and whatever key it is in, just makes the cells of my body come alive.  But if you hear the words with conventional meaning, it’s a sappy, pathetic song.  So I just asign different meanings to the words.  When I hear the words, I think, “Yes, only the blissfully solitary can have any idea of how wonderfully free and joyous it feels to answer to no one and to immerse yourself into everything around you, and find joy in the being with it.”  So I adore the song and it makes me happy, even though everyone else may not get it as a happy song.  Just like in the rest of life, we have to read between the lines and extract the pleasure and joy out of every single thing that faces us.  Especially if, like the song, we’re going to let it play over and over in our thoughts. Continue reading →

Looks innocent, huh?

I discovered something the other day that I forgot about snack type things.  They contain sodium and make you retain water!  The last time I ate anything like pretzels or chips or packaged cookies was like 5 or more years ago, so it’s easy for me to forget about what they do to the body.  I’d picked up a one ounce bag of little pretzels and nibbled on them through the day.  There were 120 of them in the bag.  You know, those little half dollar size pretzels with big chunks of yummy salt.  I was working away and thought, what a great idea pretzels are since they are low fat and easy to eat while I work.  I don’t usually eat in the office.  So I worked through lunch and dinner and didn’t feel hungry, although about 3:00pm I had the urge to make iced tea.  Which I had not done for maybe a year.  And I wanted lemon and sugar in it, which I haven’t done for several years.  The snack made me thirsty and I guess the salt made me want sugar and the sweet made me want sour.  Typically I simply drink water, but I made a big pot of iced raspberry tea and by midnight had drank all of it.  A day later I got on the scale and weighed 4 pounds more.  WTF?  My weight has stayed within 2 pounds for the past 4 years. I forgot that is what that kind of food does!  Two days later I was back to normal but I reflected on the body changes.  The tummy satisfaction made me forget the purpose of eating is for body fuel and to maintain cell structure so, since I wasn’t hungry, I skipped 2 meals of nutritious food that day.

Never-ending wheel

I felt sluggish about halfway into the bag, and had no real energy for 2 days.  My tum defnitely felt gassy for 2 days.  After a day of eating salads and veggies and protein, I felt back to normal again.  Interesting I’d forgotten about that whole salt and sugar hamster wheel that happens when I eat the processed food.  I wonder how many other people who have no energy eat stuff like this and don’t see the connection?  How many are on the hamster wheel and don’t realize it?  Hmmm.

Izzy my moose, stretched out in the window

I joke about my cat Izzy being so big since he’s a Maine Coon kitty.  He’s 28″ long with a 16″ tail and weight just over 30 pounds.  I call him my Moose.  He’s so much bigger than other kitties, and he has a very un-cat like personality.  YinYang, on the other paw, is my little masked harlequin kitty, white with black splotches on her.  I call her my little mini-cow since when she lies down, her body kind of spreads out and she looks like a little heifer.  Last night I had a dream that I was watching tv and a new show was coming on, and the title was The Moose and the Mini-Cow.  The song was “It’s about time, it’s about space, about 2 cats in the strangest place.”

Yinny the Mini Cow

When we used to sing that tv show theme song back in 1966, we would say the word “cats” for “men” since my Uncle Andy used all the beatnik phrases and we got it from him.   There’s no point to this story other than I thought it was funny.

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