I love it when friends give me big realizations about myself. Yesterday I took an early drive to the beach. Temps were dropping and the daybreak sky looked stormy. On the beach, it was windy and the surf was rough. My hair was in a million strings within minutes. On the boardwalk, I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a couple of years and it was fun to reconnect. Some people are invigorating to be around, they seem to make everyone come alive around them. It’s not so much that they’re the life of the party, more that they have such intense passion for life that it’s engaging to hear them talk about it. I especially enjoy conversations with friends who talk about their spiritual journey and what tools they use to help them work through issues as they arise. We’ve both studied EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and A Course in Miracles, so we discussed what we did to practice in our daily lives what we’ve learned in our studies.  

One thing I’ve learned is that I’m especially attracted to friends who recognize soul lessons when they encounter obstacle. Those who take time to delve into the meaning of symbols and metaphors to awaken their consciousness and further their personal growth. Hearing the lessons some else has learned triggers my own awakening. Yesterday morning’s conversation did that for me.

I enjoy hearing someone describe having an unwanted emotion arise and, being spiritually curious, going on a journey to discover the source of the emotion with the goal of relieving the pain of the thought that triggered it.

Emotional pain is released for me as soon as I understand the reason for it. The reason is always to bring my attention to something it would benefit me to look at from another perspective.

My success in dissipating emotional pain depends upon how deeply I contemplate the matter from different perspectives. What works for me is to schedule daily thought time in addition to daily meditation.

My thought time the day before had been I was wondering what it was about a friend that made me feel distant from her. After yesterday’s talk at the beach, a flashbulb went off in my head and I knew what it was. Although she and I talk on many interesting topics, there is never an emotional component to it. It’s more of an exchange of information or a presenting of data.

Also, since she doesn’t discuss her personal thoughts and emotions with me, she isn’t asking me for my advice on anything. She doesn’t need “fixing” and she isn’t asking me to awaken her.

Why I learned about myself during that realization was that the ones I tend to give priority to are those who share their emotional journey of awakening with me. Those who want to see a situation from another viewpoint. Those recognizing they have thoughts or behaviors that don’t serve them anymore and they’re seeking the perspective of an outside observer in order to evaporate them.

I realized I make them the priority because talking with them activates the teacher in me, awakening that part of me that wants to help heal and restore. Talking with them also activates the student in me, since I know whatever info I get for someone else on some level applies to me as well.

That doesn’t mean I love less any friends who don’t share their emotional life and personal growth journey with me. It simply means that I discovered I am most fueled and fulfilled in conversation when someone shares their soul’s journey of awakening.  That’s why dear loved ones aren’t always a priority in the 3D.

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