I’ve had a headcold for the past few days.  I always keep my Facebook friends posted with what I’m doing, so yesterday I wrote:  <wakes up, takes swig of Nyquil, thinks about soup, passes back out>  A girlfriend, who pulls no punches, joked – although we both knew it was no joke: “Andrea, why the heck are you manifesting illness? What is it about being sick you wish to experience?”  I love having friends who call me on my stuff!

I’d been pondering that very question myself the past month.  It seems I’ve been taking myself down for the count about twice a year and that’s not a pattern I want to continue.   I replied to Lorraine: “I think I do it because it’s the only time I let myself rest and relax and not work. I always get a “head cold” when I feel overwhelmed and suffocated by people.  Maybe I think that justifies me not working. I’m gonna hafta rewire my belief system there.”

One of the first thoughts that comes to me when I get “sick” is how good it felt when I was in the hospital knowing that whatever was going on with me was under control and I was being taken good care of.  I know that I don’t want to vibrate in that place for too long – that place of having others care for me – so I remind myself that I am the one who can take the best care of myself.

I remind myself that I bounce back quickly when I do go down.  I remind myself that I eat the right foods and exercise, and that goes a long way in keeping me in tiptop shape.  I have a busy schedule but I don’t have a stressful life.  Or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself.  Yeah, that’s right, denial.

I was over 50 when I wised up and began to eat right and exercise, and at 57 I am healthier and stronger and happier than I was a dozen years ago.  But I still keep forgetting to rest and relax, and to get enough sleep on a regular basis.  I keep forgetting I’m not Superman.

But when I give myself a headcold or a 24 hour bug, I make myself stay in bed, I don’t even try to work, I just spend time lounging around and hydrating and basking in the feeling of the comfy bed and all the good rest I’m getting.  But I need to remind myself to rest up and lounge around on a regular basis so I don’t need to experience a head cold in order to enjoy it.

I think it’s important to have friends who call me on my stuff.  They give me reminders I need, they are signposts on my journey, the let me know which direction I’m headed.

And when I’m heading off track.

Thanks, Lorraine!

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